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  • I have to do this. All the people that are waiting on me.

  • This has gone on long enough. This ends now!

  • Dude, stop pushing so hard. That's why you keep getting hemorrhoids.

  • It's time to DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- Duel!

  • Now remember Yugi, when you start to stutter, go ahead and calm down and take it slow.

  • It's time to d- du- duel.

  • Very good.

  • News anchor: And now to Pallet Town, where a local man was found guilty of animal cruelty.

  • Reporters: Ash! Ash! Ash! Ash!

  • Reporter 1: Is it true that you abused animals?

  • Ash: No comment.

  • Reporter 1: What do you have to say to people who capture wild animals and keep them in confined balls?

  • Reporter 2: What about the accusation you are part of a pet underground battling society?

  • Reporter 3: Do you regret picking a Pikachu?

  • Ash: No comment.

  • Reporter 3: Ash, what about the threesome with you Brock and Misty?

  • Hey. It was always just Brock.

  • Reporters: ASH! Ash! Ash!

  • Naruto!

  • Sasuke!

  • Naruto!

  • Sasuke!

  • Naruto!

  • Sausage!

  • What?

  • Oh, oops.

  • Did you just call me sausage? That's not even a good joke.

  • No, no, no. Sorry. The script must have auto corrected Sasuke to sausage.

  • You know I was just going to hurt you, Naruto. But now I'm going to kill you!

  • Prepare yourself, Naruto.

  • Are you gonna do it, or?

  • Just shut up, okay? Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to remember all of this?

  • I mean, do you really have to do all that sign language? I mean, we already have subtitles.

  • I said, shut up!

  • Okay. Sorry.

  • Seriously, how much longer are you gonna -

  • I'm almost done! Can you just let me finish?

  • Fine! Just hurry up.

  • Okay. Now where was I?

  • Say goodbye, Naruto.

  • SASUKE!!!!

  • SAUSAGE!!!!

  • I mean, it's cool that they put us in this magazine and all, but I don't really appreciate how they photoshopped us.

  • Hey, Sailor Moon. I mean, I know you're the leader and all, but I was wondering, maybe we could switch planets for this year?

  • Yeah, we should do that.

  • Yeah, I wouldn't mind that.

  • No, Sailor Jupiter. We've been through this. The planets represent who we are!

  • But, I want to be Sailor Moon!

  • You're too big to be a moon! You're the biggest one! That's why you're Jupiter!

  • Ugh, you bitch! I'm self-conscious.

  • And, Sailor Saturn, you're the only one that can hula hoop here.

  • I said I know HULA. I never said hula HOOP!

  • And I can hula hoop a little bit. I can switch with Saturn.

  • No, because you have to be Mars. You're the manliest one, and men are from Mars.

  • Well, if men are from Mars, then women have to be from Venus, and Sailor Venus don't look very womanly.

  • - Actually, that saying is wrong. - What?

  • Women aren't from Venus. Hermaphrodites are.

  • Hermaphrodites? You mean people with both parts?

  • Yeah, a penis and a vagina.

  • I don't even want to switch planets!

  • I'm proud to have a vagina-penis!

  • I'm proud to have a Venus!

  • Well, why can't I be Sailor Moon? I moon just as many people as you do.

  • Yeah, but I keep my shorts on, Sailor Uranus.

  • Are you slut shaming me?

  • (Arguing)

  • Guys, can I not be Pluto anymore?

  • (Arguing)

  • Guys?

  • (Arguing)

  • Oh yeah. I'm not part of the group anymore.

  • Hey guys, smell your armbands. It's so...

  • (Arguing)

  • Girls, right?

  • - (girl voice) Uh, what is that supposed to mean? - (man voice) No, no, no, no, I just meant that girls fight a lot.

  • - And guys don't!? - Yeah, I mean but we just use our fists!

  • So do we!

  • If you're looking for strength,

  • if you're looking for a strong blade,

  • if you're looking to become stronger than you've ever been before,

  • then come on down to Bleach's Cuts and Hairstyles for Anime Heroes, where we cut and hairstyle ALL anime heroes!

  • Men hairstyles to women hairstyles. Short, long, horny, we do it all here at Bleach's Cuts and Hairstyles for Anime Heroes!

  • You want that Super Saiyan look without all that Super Saiyan training?

  • Well, I'm sayin', here at Bleach's Cuts and Hairstyles for Anime Heroes...

  • Of course we're gonna specialize in bleach and hair! We bleached some of the most famous heroes in anime!

  • Heroes you probably thought were AALL natural.

  • Goku to Naruto to Lucy from Fairy Tail!

  • We even bleached Sailor Uranus!

  • I mean, Pikachu used to be brown, but we got to him!

  • 'Cause like the saying goes, "You can't be a real anime hero without cool anime hair."

  • Oh...

  • No!

  • Noooooooo~!

  • No what?

  • You - your shoelaces are untied. You almost fell and uh, hit these bricks down.

  • Hey, thanks man. That's really nice of you.

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah!

  • Yeaaaaaaaah~!

  • Are you supposed to be One Punch Man?

  • Yeah. I can pretty much defeat any anime hero with one punch.

  • Every anime hero?

  • Yeah.

  • Oh!

  • Not too sure what I can do with that.

  • I guess I could paint an arrow on your head, you could look like Aang.

  • Delivery?

  • Oh! Thank God.

  • Just, uh, sign here.

  • I don't remember ordering anything but...

  • Wait, I don't think I ordered this.

  • You're from Bleach, right?

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah, that was for you.

  • I don't even know what these are. What are these? Like colored rocks?

  • Yes, it says here that they are rocks, but it's a French brand.

  • So it's not "color", it's "colour"... rocks.

  • What?

  • It's Clorox Bleach.

  • Wha... what are you... What are you doing here?

  • Just... dragging balls. See? (Dragon Ball Z)

  • Hey man! What's with all the commotion?

  • My shoes keep coming untied, no matter how hard I tighten them.

  • Oh, I've got the perfect thing for you.

  • What is that?

  • It's a tack.

  • How is that gonna help me tighten my shoes?

  • Just stick it into your shoelace and it gets tighter.

  • It's a tack to tighten. (Attack on Titan)

  • Oh cool! This Fairy Tail shirt's only $9.99!

  • I guess you could say it's some pretty "fair retail".

  • You suck!

  • Okay! Enough with the bad puns already! Okay, I get it.

  • One Pun-ch Man.

  • Okay, you make puns. Very funny, I get it.

  • Actually, I'm not One Punch Man anymore.

  • What? The square root of 4? What? I don't get it.

  • I'm "four-root" punch.

  • Seriously? Fruit Punch? That's the best you can do?

  • Sí.

  • Okay, now, you really did go too far.

  • You can't make that joke. You're Asian.

  • I know. That's why now I'm...

  • ...punchink.

  • Okay, really did just cross the line on that one.

  • Actually, I'm uh... still on it.

  • Look. Enough is enough already.

  • A- Aren't you supposed to be One Punch... just one pun?

  • How many puns did you made already?

  • I don't know. Anywhere from one to a ton.

  • Wh- what?

  • Aha! See?

  • I tricked you! You crossed the "too-many-puns-for-one-video" line, and now you can't make anymore!

  • So now, I can finally end this video without a dumb pun.

  • Well, you didn't say that was a rule.

  • Well, it is! You crossed the line, so you can't make anymore puns.

  • If you say so.

  • Yes! I do.

  • But just so I'm clear, this line represents the last pun of the video, right?

  • Yeah.

  • So, technically then, this line is kind of the line I'm saying right now.

  • What?

  • 'Cause it's the last punchline.

I have to do this. All the people that are waiting on me.

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