Subtitles section Play video
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I’m a
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huge fan of Disney...at least, classic Disney. And I’m a huge fan of Disney video games,
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too...at least, classic Disney games. From Chip ‘n Dale and DuckTales to Epic Mickey
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and Castle of Illusion, Disney characters translate beautifully to video games when
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they’re done right.
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The thing is...not all Disney video games fall into that category. There’s another
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category, too...the obvious category of “oh, it’s just a crappy licensed game.”
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But the interesting thing about this particular Disney game...is that it doesn’t fit into
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either category. I mean, you don’t even need to play Disney Princess: My Fairytale
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Adventure to see that it’s obviously not one of those Disney classics.
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But I wouldn’t call it a crappy licensed game, either.
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I guess the key question here is, “Are you a six-year-old girl?” Because if you are,
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you’re probably very happy to hear this and I appreciate you watching. Although you
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probably shouldn’t be. I say awful things sometimes. Everyone else is probably like,
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“Derek, come on...you actually like this crap?”
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Uh, yeah. I do. It’s a perfectly fine kids game that lets me create my own Disney princess.
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If you don’t want to create a Disney princess, you’re a godd*mn liar.
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After you create that princess, you take her on a delightful journey through various Disney
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worlds. You get to interact with Ariel from The Little Mermaid and Belle from Beauty and
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the Beast and all the whole lovely crew. They all have these problems, which they ask you
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to help them solve.
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I’d help Ariel with plenty of things.
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So the premise is fabulous, the game looks beautiful...the problem is its a kids game.
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Which means the gameplay doesn’t exactly hold up its end of the bargain. It’s a basic
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recipe of simple platforming, lots of fetch quests, zap the evil fairies. The game never
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really switches gears, but again, that’s understandable given the audience.
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The customization is nice, but it’s actually pretty clunky in practice. In fact, the game
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generally feels clunky at times. You can’t just check out a dress—if you pick one,
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the game automatically slaps it on you and moves on. To continue, press B...not A.
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You know, like every other game ever.
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Listen, I’m not a six-year-old girl. But we do have some common interests. I prefer
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milk with my cookies, I’m not afraid to wear pink and yes, I cried when Belle danced
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with the beast. She looked stunning. This game isn’t stunning. But it’s not a bad
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dress for a six-year-old girl.