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Hello.
My name is Catie Wayne.
And welcome to Weird, Gross, and Beautiful--
a show where I talk about animals
that I find weird, gross, beautiful, or all three.
Please subscribe to this channel.
It matters.
I'm waiting.
OK, thanks for doing that.
You're a pal.
Muah.
Today, were talking about geese.
I hate them a lot, and it's not important why.
Just keep that in mind that sincerely-- they're
probably the only animal that I hate.
Geese mate for life.
I had no idea that such jerks could attach for that long.
It's unknown to us whether or not if one of them
dies from being an asshole that the other one
gets a new asshole mate.
And to know that they have anything
in common with something as adorable as penguins hurts.
Barnacle geese eat five to six pounds of grass a day.
And that's bizarre, because geese only weigh up to like,
8 to 11 pounds.
That's a lot of grass for one goose.
But they're really extra good at nomming on grass,
because their beaks are like, extra pointy, or something.
All the better to bite your small children with.
Geese are found all over the world.
And they were quite possibly the first poultry
to ever be domesticated.
But here in the lab Catie Wayne, it's still out for debate
whether or not they are actually domesticated,
because they're such temperamental jerks.
Why would anyone ever want to domesticate geese?
What?
Golden eggs?
Got news for you guys.
That's not a real!
That's a fairytale!
And they just walk around with their stupid necks
somewhere between a duck and a swan,
just being like uhh-- [BLEEP] them.
They have this giant monster wingspan of over six feet,
and they can fly up to 40 miles per hour at migration speed.
That's really fast for a giant bird.
So here's something that makes perfect sense.
Goose poop is poisonous.
Yep, that's perfect.
Their poop contains E. coli, and so then
when they're pooping in your lakes and water and stuff
like that, then you swim in the water, you could get E. Coli.
So don't do that.
And our final fact from our in-house goose
expert-- me-- they're dicks.
All right, guys, that's all that I have for you today.
Please, be sure to follow me on Twitter @catiewayne,
and tweet at me what animals you would like me to talk about.
If they're weird, gross, beautiful,
or basically existing-- if you tell me
what animal you'd like me to do, it's
basically guaranteed that I'll do one,
because we can make like a weird, gross, and/or beautiful
span on just about any animal ever.
And while you're doing stuff for me, why don't you
check out this episode of Nature Hates You about geese?
They are, like, on the right track because geese suck.
Hashtag Team Catie Hates Geese Geese Are The Worse
And We Hate Them.
Geese.
Ew.
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Geese Are Weird, Gross and Beautiful

152 Folder Collection
姚易辰 published on October 10, 2016
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