Subtitles section Play video
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Hi there! Welcome to 'Top Tips with TomSka'!
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-I'm here with Chris -CHRIS.
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And today we're giving you some top tips on what to do in the event
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-of a heavily bleeding wound! -YES.
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AAARGH! Wha... DID YOU JUST STAB ME?!
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If you've been stabbed, it's very important not to panic.
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SWEET MOTHER OF BUTTS IT BURNS!!
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DID YOU COVER THE BLADE IN SALT?!
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The first thing you need to do is put pressure on your pain hole
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to stop or slow the flow of blood.
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No matter how salty or delicious it might be...
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Mmmm...
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DID YOU LACE THIS KNIFE WITH TINY BEES?!?
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Just keep pressure on the wound. Hold it all in and never let go
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like you're repressing dark fantasies.
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AAAH! THE SALTY BEES ARE IN MY FACE!!
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Now call for an ambulance.
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If you live in the UK dial 999.
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THEY'RE IN MY EYES!!
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If you live in the US dial 911
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BUZZING IN MY EEEEYYYYEEESSS!!!
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If you live in another country
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I'm so sorry...
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Ahh...ahh...HELP! I NEED AN AMBULANCE!
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[phone] Okay, you want mushrooms on that?
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WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY PHONE?!
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Here are some top tips for passing the time waiting for an ambulance.
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Read a book! Write a book! Book a holiday for your book!
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Or think about WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO DESERVE THIS.
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-A large pizza with mushrooms? -Oh, wow! That was quick!
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Well it sounded like an emergency!
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Wait, what did you mean by "deserve this"?!
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If you happen to come across someone bleeding their treacherous life away
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you can help them by applying pressure to their wound.
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Like the unrelenting pressure from the voices in your head...
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OH! THERE ARE EVEN MORE BEES IN THE PIZZA!
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And now for some top tips on how to avoid getting stabbed in the first place.
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WHY WOULD YOU PUT BEES IN A PIZZA?!
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1 - Don't go down dark alleyways.
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2 - Avoid making eye contact with old ladies.
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And 3 - Don't eat my sandwich.
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IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?! IS THAT WHAT THIS WAS ABOUT?!?!?!
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WHAT IS WRONG WITH YO--
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[sirens]
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Next week, top tips on what to do with a dead body.
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Bye bye!