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  • [Dramatic Music plays]

  • Hey, Jacksepticeye...

  • I bet you think we're bros.

  • Just cause we hang out.

  • I bet you think we're straight up - homedogs.

  • Just cause we hugged once.

  • Well guess what?

  • I HATE MY DOG.

  • AND I HATE YOU TOO.

  • This is the JackSepticEye roast.

  • Prepare to get flamed.

  • Bitch.

  • [Dramatic Music plays]

  • JackSepticEye...

  • More like

  • JackSeptic... Bye.

  • [Music plays]

  • Hey Jack!

  • [Laughs]

  • When I first saw you

  • I gagged.

  • Jack!

  • Your facial hair makes you look like...

  • ..a pre-pubescent member of ISIS.

  • And don't even think making fun of my hair

  • Because you wish you had this hair.

  • [Spitting noise] Bitch.

  • ...That was so unnecessary.

  • Your abs

  • Looks like a vagina...

  • So I have to blur it.

  • Blur that shit!

  • Point proven.

  • Hey Jack!

  • This is what your fans think you look like.

  • But this is what you really look like.

  • Which is convenient,

  • Because your videos are about as cringey as a Dove commercial.

  • (Music plays)

  • [Music stops] Hey - hey Jack.

  • I found-

  • I found your twin.

  • [Music resumes playing]

  • Get it? Cause you're Irish.

  • See this?

  • Jacksepticeye is clearly a Nazi.

  • Don't hate me, I only spit the truth.

  • Jack!

  • You make me wanna lose my clothes.

  • And not because you're hot.

  • Because you're ripping me off!

  • [Music plays]

  • How come I can't find any diapers in your merch store?

  • How 'bout you start selling some PewDiePie dildos here.

  • So your fans can act like you and SUCK MY DICK.

  • [Music plays]

  • You only made it big because I gave you a shoutout!

  • You're my Make A Wish, bitch!

  • This is you as a fucking Minecraft!

  • ALL YOU DO.

  • IS FUCKING SCREAM IN YOUR FUCKING VIDEOS!

  • DO YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY AND CREATIVE?!

  • People say I'm the Trump of Youtube?!

  • Yeah well-then you're the Hillary Clinton!

  • THE ONLY REASON PEOPLE WATCH YOUR VIDEOS

  • is because you're a TRAINWRECK-

  • AND PEOPLE CAN'T LOOK AWAY.

  • YOU'RE LITERALLY WORSE THAN RAY WILLIAM JOHNSON.

  • I- I'm sorry that was...

  • That was too far.

  • JackSepticEye...

  • More like...

  • Jackseptic... Tank.

  • [Moaning]

  • I'm roasting your whole family Jack.

  • You're all a bunch of potatoes.

  • That's right bitch, you got roasted.

  • Now what are you gonna do about it?

  • Bitch.

  • Some people like to think that Jack got big because of me.

  • Because I gave him a shoutout.

  • But I gave a shit ton of- I gave like...

  • At least thirty people a shout out.

  • And none of them went nearly as far

  • And were nearly as successful as Jack

  • That's because Jack is a talented

  • Funny,

  • Charismatic,

  • Beautiful Irish man.

  • I love you. [kiss noise]

  • I'm happy you're my friend.

  • Please don't unsubscribe.

  • I hope you guys enjoyed this roast!

  • Let me know if you want more!

  • Leave a like if you enjoyed!

  • And I'll see you bros in the next video.

  • As always...

  • Stay awesome bros!

  • M'kay we will go with-

  • Evenecesseneseh

  • 5 points.

  • Cause he needs to wake up and kill himself.

  • Why you so mean?

[Dramatic Music plays]

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