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  • Who are you going to vote for?

  • Ladies and gentlemen,

  • Welcome to the 2016 Presidential Debate.

  • Get your popcorn ready!

  • This is POLITICLASH!

  • *Five, six, seven, eight*

  • Hi, Hillary here

  • Woman up

  • Been in power for many a year

  • Spent a decade or three in political spheres

  • You say I'm just the first lady?

  • You're killing me here

  • Strolling up to the White House I never forget

  • The smell of carpe diem carpet bombs

  • And cieling the debt

  • Back when I operated Bill like a marionette

  • Sporting Gepetto stilettos

  • Taking on ghettos and terror threats

  • The real boy toyed with the wrong brunette

  • Pinocchioing poking around to get his wood wet

  • Still eight years running, didn't break a sweat

  • Left with my head on my shoulders

  • I'm no Marie Antoinette

  • My speed is breakneck, take checks

  • Won't apologize for the upset

  • Didn't die with my man

  • This ain't no Romeo-Juliet

  • Mama's back for the votes, call me suffragette

  • Forget Bill

  • I'm an á la carte oligarch

  • and I'm crushing it

  • Hi, Clinton is back

  • Suit up

  • In a pant suit and on the attack

  • Brute up

  • Protecting people from here to Iraq

  • Gonna pick up that torch from Barack

  • You can sing hallelujah

  • But I'm too much to handle

  • Forget Shonda Rhymes

  • I invented the scandal

  • Benghazi Nazi paparazzi come and stir up another fuss

  • Call TIME magazine

  • I'm the queen of the coverups

  • Gonna kick ass and take blames

  • Upper class, I'll take aim

  • Put Burnie in an urn

  • And fight the fanboy fanned flames

  • I'm hyper activist

  • The lion, elephant's nemesis

  • An emotional strategist

  • Black mamba, I'm venemous

  • Wrathful warrior pacifist

  • Channel Yahweh in Genesis

  • I'm the gaudiest godliest godless minimal feminist

  • I'm HRC

  • New election, new me

  • All hail the female in 2016

  • Uh, Hillary, uh, can I talk?

  • No?

  • Terrific.

  • Alright.

  • So we're supposed to elect you

  • Just because you're a woman

  • You're less likeable than Cruz

  • And he looks like a melting snowman

  • Such excitement for indictment

  • This email thing's a bad omen

  • Getting cold, better run to Putin

  • Before you get Snowden

  • Don't be alarmed, it's just me

  • The real Donald Trump

  • I'm here to smear to give your ladies

  • And your rating a bump

  • You pumped?

  • I'm the buyer's choice to make America great again

  • Mission's simple: give permisson

  • to let Americans hate again

  • Speaking of which, Obama's a muslim

  • Talk about foreign aid

  • Where was he born? Africa?

  • I popped out in suede

  • And hey, when life gave me millions

  • I made billionaide

  • Best served on ice with a plate

  • of Barack O'BBQ in the shade

  • *Money money money money*

  • Took my casino earnings

  • Brought some cash to the party

  • Just spent a weekend at Bernie's

  • And now we're crashing the parties

  • Poaching establishment voters

  • on a Ferrari safari

  • Talking a big game

  • Sipping on some fascist Bacardi

  • JK, I don't drink, I have self control

  • Unless you're not white, Rosie O'Donnell

  • or an internet troll

  • Blew up Republican politics

  • like the law was Sharia

  • Made Chris Christie my bitchie

  • Turned Carson into Madea

  • Ted held hands with Fiorina

  • While my fans filled arenas

  • Poor bruised abused Cruz

  • I stole his role in God's Not Dead 3-uh

  • Bernie baby take notes from a true inside outsider

  • You're a dumbfounded dumb founder

  • of a movement that floundered

  • Your camp can riot at my rallies

  • But don't show up to fight

  • Things get messy when teens

  • Start exercising their rights

  • The Jew has risen

  • Let's go.

  • So you're worth millions

  • Well I'm a meme, that's my net worth

  • I'm set, working the net

  • Go on and keep your networks

  • I'm gonna polarize ya, pulverize ya

  • Separate the truth from lies ya

  • Ya can't stop the young people

  • Bernie's gonna youthenize ya

  • I'm new and old fashioned

  • Hi, I'm Bernie Sanders

  • I came from the streets of Brooklyn

  • To be your chief commander

  • I meander gerrymandering

  • And slander from a witch

  • Which, by the by, is why I pitched a

  • Campaign for the no-rich niche

  • Funded by Americans

  • Bernie's Super PAC-less

  • No corruption, no greed

  • I'm like a ShamWow, no mess

  • Hit the campaign trail with black sails

  • Eff the Police

  • I'm freeing the black males

  • Stall white collars low ballers

  • From tipping cash to tip the scales

  • Gonna fill the jails with laymen

  • Hope their souls are worth the savings

  • Misbehave in the Caymans

  • Trump, you're gonna go to hell for your havens

  • Oh boy

  • Hey Satan, is this seat taken?

  • America's got a white collar craving

  • I'm the second most popular socialist Jew

  • Getting praised in this nation

  • If ya got a couple millions

  • You'll be revolushunned

  • I got 99 problems

  • But my percent ain't one

  • *P-A-I-N-T*

  • *subscribe*

  • *Jon/Hillary* Call Time Magazine, I'm the queen of the cover ups

  • Gonna kick ass and take blames,

  • Upper class, I'll take aim

  • Put Bernie in an urn and fight the fanboy fanned flames

  • I'm hyper activist, the lion, elephant's nemesis

Who are you going to vote for?

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B2 US bernie money money hillary urn nemesis time magazine

POLITICLASH: Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton vs Bernie Sanders

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    Zoe Lin posted on 2016/10/07
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