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  • English is crazy,

  • and what other languages do you recite at a play, but play at a recital,

  • or ship by truck but send cargo by ship?

  • We have noses that run and feet that smell,

  • and the writers write hammers definitely don't ham.

  • you fill in a form by filling it out,

  • and your alarm goes off by going on,

  • and why is it that a slim chance and a fat chance are the same thing,

  • but a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

  • But this is where it gets even more confusing,

  • if you speak of a box in the plural, is "boxes",

  • yet the plural of "ox" should be "oxen", not "oxes".

  • Then one is a "goose", two are called "geese",

  • yet the plural of "moose" should never be "meese".

  • And I speak of a foot, and you show me your feet,

  • but I give a boot, what a pair we called "beet",

  • and we talk about brother and also our brethren,

  • but so we say mother we never say methren.

  • The masculine pronouns are "he", "his" and "him",

  • but imagine the feminine "she", "shis" and "shim".

  • And I take it you already know of "tough" and "bough" and "cough" and "dough".

  • Beware of "heard", a dreadful word,

  • that looks like "beard" and sounds like "bird".

  • And "dead" is said like "bed", not "bead".

  • For goodness sakes, don't call it "deed".

  • Watch out for "meat" and great" and "threat",

  • they rhyme with "suite" and "straight" and "debt".

  • And "here" is not a match for "there" and "dear" and "fear" for "bear" and "pear".

  • And then there's "dose" and "rose" and "lose",

  • just look them up, and "goose" and "choose".

  • And "cork" and "work" and "card" and "ward" and "font" and front"

  • and "word" and "sword" and "do" and "go".

  • and "thwart"and "cart"!

  • Come on, I 've hardly made a start!

  • A dreadful language, well, man alive.

  • I learned to talk it when I was five,

  • but to write it, the more I try,

  • I still haven't learned to at 25.

English is crazy,

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B1 US plural dreadful goose wise shim beet

English Is Crazy!

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    Angel Cheng posted on 2016/10/06
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