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  • It's a Good Idea with Angela Oberer

  • Evaluate Your Manners Tip #1011

  • Hi there, I'm Angela Oberer and today's good idea comes from Vibah, who writes in and says:

  • My husband and I have friends, another couple we've have had dinner with for several times

  • a week. Suddenly they stopped inviting us out, stopped calling, stopped being friends.

  • I ran into her at the grocery store the other day and asked what's up and she said they've

  • been busy and their schedules have changed. But I see that on Facebook she's been posting

  • them having dinner with other friends, so I know they are not that busy, what's your take?

  • Well my take Vibah, is that you have just

  • been replaced by new friends. I don't know why, but I'll share with you

  • why I have replaced friends and that might give you some insight.

  • Okay, so my husband and I used to have friends over and I'll call them "the judge and the jury."

  • We would take time out of our schedules, we'd

  • go to the grocery, we'd buy all the ingredients and we'd make this elaborate meal. Then the

  • judge and the jury would arrive and from the time they would arrive, until the time that

  • they left they would criticize everything. (Screen says: The Judge and Jury: Act superior,

  • Complain, Criticize you, Belittle you, Bully you, Sense of entitlement)

  • From the menu to the table setting, to the food, to the temperature of the food, and the

  • way that the food was cut up, and the knife that was used to cut the food up, and the

  • way that the dishes were carried back to the sink and so on. Everything from beginning

  • to end was a criticism. Until it just became easy not to invite them back.

  • Right? It was easier to replace them with

  • new friends, that wanted to be here. Okay so, then I used to have lunch once a

  • week with Debbie Downer. Debbie in my opinion was the world's greatest hypochondriac.

  • (Screen Says: Debbie Downer: Worships problems, complains, Constantly sick, Victim mentality,

  • One ups you, Drains you) And she had aches and pains, ailments and sicknesses, diseases

  • and medications that I've never even heard of. Right? Stuff that hasn't even been invented yet.

  • And when I would leave lunch, I was like Oh thank goodness, my life is good.

  • Debbie has all the problems.

  • Right? Incredibly draining. Had to replace her.

  • Then there was fancy Agent Man. And I don't know if he was a talent agent, or a secret

  • CIA operative or what - that part is unknown. (Screen says: The Agent: Fantastical stories,

  • Control freak, Unverifiable credentials, Narcissistic, Name drops, Glued to phone) But during dinner

  • he was always interrupted with these important phone calls from VERY important people:

  • A-list actors, Nascar Race car drivers, and NFL football players and high level politicians

  • including the United States President himself whom he had on speed dial. I know, it sounds

  • really unbelievable right? It did to us as well. And you just end up replacing secret

  • agent man. Okay, then there was the fancy beggar.

  • (Screen says: Fancy Beggar: High fashion tastes, hung up on image, Charming and fun, Convenient

  • lies, Begs, borrows and steals from you, Never pays you back.)

  • always meet us at the most expensive restaurants. Only to discover that "Oh my goodness, I just

  • left my car keys and my wallet in the cab that dropped me off, and can you guys pick

  • up dinner?" "So because I don't have keys to get in my house tonight, can I come home

  • with you?" And that weekend turned into a week, and then two weeks until we found out

  • he'd been evicted, and can he borrow money from us and on and on and on.

  • It was just this huge drain. So there are reasons people have moved on

  • and have found new friends. And I don't know why people have moved on from you.

  • (Screen says: If your friends have mysteriously

  • vanished, check your manners to make sure it's not you.)

  • But now is a really good chance to stop and do some personal introspection to find out why you've

  • been replaced. Because that might affect your future relationships and it's a good idea.

  • It's a good idea.

It's a Good Idea with Angela Oberer

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4 Reasons Why Friendships End - It's a Good Idea

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    VoiceTube posted on 2016/09/25
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