G: Oh you wanna be a beauty vlogger?

A: No but I wanna give a beauty vlogger-like tip.

G: Okay, great, what is it?

A: People should carry mini mouthwashes!

G: What if you have it in your car and you drink it and you get pulled over and

then you get a DUI?

A: Why would I get a DUI?

G: Because it's alcohol.

A: I just want to take a moment to make sure that you understand that using

mouthwash is not the same as drinking alcohol.

G: You can get drunk off mouthwash! Have you not been a teen in the suburbs?

A: I'm not going to show you what type of mouthwash this is because this is not

branded content.

G: Ok yeah.

A: But, this is genius!

G: Can I give my tip? A: Okay.

G: Put tampons in the center console of your car it'll change your life.

A: What if you don't have your car?

G: I thought you were going to say "What if you don't have your period?"

A: I don't get a period you guys, what's up.

G: Okay, great, you are just a god among men.

A: No I'm just on birth control that somehow doesn't make me have a period.

G: Do you think that when you go off that birth control you'll have all the periods

that you missed at once?

A: Yes. I'm gonna bleed out.

♪ (jazzy music) ♪

A: This week on Just Between Us instead of asking a dumb question I would like to

read a lame email.

A: (reads) "Hey Allison, you guys would have noticed that your video views are not

increasing, as they would have before.

(continues reading) "I used to like the onscreen chemistry between you and Gaby,

"but now it's like same old things, again and again.

(continues reading) "I am not going to give any suggestions as I do not have any.

"And yeah this email is pointless. Thanks." (end reading)

A: I'm quitting the show.

A: This was my biggest fear! I said why would anyone watch this show,

the show is so stupid, we just do the same stupid stuff over and over and over again.

A: Now this guy, he's onto us. He's onto us, Gaby! The whooole thing's been blown

wiiiiide open!

A: I got a goddamn dog for you people.

G: What's the most interesting this you could say?

A: I didn't have anything. G: (laughs)

A: I had nothing.

G: I will say that the most interesting things of my life happen outside of this.

A: Duh! Nothing happens inside of this. It's so boring.

G: We could invite some of the people I'm hooking up with, we could take the camera

to some of the parties I go to.

A: But then we're vloggers and I will not be a vlogger.

A: Year 2, welcome to our season finale.

G: I don't think we're boring, I'm very interesting.

A: Okay say something original and exciting and interesting that I've never

heard of before.

G: That you've never heard of before? A: Yep! Good luck!

G: Do you think that there's an afterlife? A: Yes.

G: What do you think it looks like? A: Mexico.

G: You think it looks like Mexico?

A: I love being in Mexico so my heaven is Mexico.

G: Oh, it's whatever you think it is?

A: (pause)

A: But see this isn't interesting because I don't have any actual thoughts on it.

G: Ah- A: It's just us rambling about something

we don't know anything about and that's why you go to church.

G: What's the best script you've ever read?

G: That's something you care about.

A: Now this is just a conversation, it's not a show.

G: I'm trying to bring up topics that you think are interesting.

A: What if this show becomes a murder mystery? And one of us is dead.

G: Are you volunteering to be dead? A: Yep.

G: I like books, I have books, I can talk about books. I thought Lindy West's book

was good, I thought- A: Listen, but you have to think about

what this show is. This show is not a book club, okay? This show is a stupid fake

advice show about love and dating and honestly, we've talked about all of it!

A: We've talked about love, we've also talked about dating.

A: So, I mean honestly, if we don't wanna take a hard turn to political satire, I

don't know what we're gonna do.

♪ (jazzy music) ♪

A: I don't have a secret.

G: Yes you do. From the channel, yes you do.

A: No I don't wanna do that. I'm not doing that until we have 1 million subscribers.

G: We will become, now, increasingly boring until we reach 1 million

subscribers, at which point Allison will reveal the most interesting tidbit about

herself.

A: You don't need to watch.

♪ (jazzy music) ♪

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