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  • - DON'T YOU LOVE TELEVISION? IT'S A WONDERFUL INVENTION.

  • I WATCHED A LOT OF TELEVISION OVER THE SUMMER,

  • AND HERE'S WHAT I NOTICED ABOUT TELEVISION.

  • IT'S CHANGED A LOT OVER THE YEARS.

  • BECAUSE I WAS A KID, I WAS WATCHING, LIKE,

  • "I LOVE LUCY."

  • DID YOU WATCH THAT SHOW?

  • [cheers and applause]

  • LUCY AND DESI WERE NOT ALLOWED TO SLEEP IN THE SAME BED.

  • THEY HAD SEPARATE BEDS.

  • THEY WERE MARRIED, AND THEY HAD TO SLEEP--

  • NOW YOU TURN ON THE TV, EVERYBODY'S NAKED ON THE--

  • THEY'RE NAKED EVERYWHERE. EVERY SHOW.

  • IT'S NOT JUST CINEMAX ANYMORE.

  • NOW IT'S--IT STARTED WITH "NAKED AND AFRAID."

  • DO YOU REMEMBER THAT SHOW?

  • [laughter]

  • THAT STARTED IT ALL.

  • AND THEN PEOPLE WENT, "OH, THAT WORKS.

  • "WELL, LET'S DO 'NAKED VEGAS.'"

  • BECAUSE THAT'S GONNA WORK.

  • THEN THERE'S "NAKED CASTAWAY."

  • THESE ARE NOT SHOWS I'M MAKING UP.

  • THERE'S CHELSEA HANDLER.

  • SHE'S NAKED ALL THE TIME.

  • [laughter]

  • [cheers and applause]

  • I REFUSE TO BE NAKED.

  • THERE'S A NEW SHOW.

  • IT'S CALLED "DATING NAKED."

  • HAVE YOU HEARD OF "DATING NAKED?"

  • I'M TELLING YOU, THESE SHOWS JUST ARE--

  • IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT, LET ME EXPLAIN IT TO YOU.

  • IT'S A SHOW WHERE PEOPLE DATE NAKED.

  • VERY COMPLICATED. STAY WITH ME.

  • EACH EPISODE, THERE'S A MAN AND A WOMAN.

  • THEY GO ON THREE BLIND DATES COMPLETELY NAKED,

  • AND AT THE END OF THE EPISODE,

  • THEY PICK WHO HAD THE BEST "CONNECTION."

  • VH1 CALLS IT A SOCIAL EXPERIMENT.

  • I CALL IT A NIGHTMARE, IS WHAT I CALL IT.

  • ANYWAY, HERE'S A COUPLE OF-- THIS IS--

  • THEY'RE MEETING FOR THE FIRST TIME.

  • - [squeals, laughs]

  • I'M--OH, MY GOD. YOU ARE SO NAKED.

  • YOU ARE SO NAKED.

  • - IS THIS WEIRD? I DON'T KNOW.

  • SHOULD WE SHAKE HANDS? HI, I'M GREG.

  • - I'M NOT--I'M-- NO.

  • NO. OKAY. [laughs]

  • I'M FEELING A LITTLE SHOCKED.

  • [both laugh]

  • - SHOCKED? YOU'RE SHOCKED?

  • YOU AGREED TO BE ON A SHOW CALLED "DATING NAKED."

  • WHY IS SHE SHOCKED?

  • DOES SHE NOT UNDERSTAND SHE'S ALSO NAKED?

  • SHE JUST ALL OF A SUDDEN, "AAH!"

  • HERE'S ANOTHER COUPLE MEETING.

  • - [singing] YEAH, OH-OH

  • OH-OH

  • DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO

  • - HI.

  • I'M DIANE. - HUG IT OUT?

  • - UM...

  • - THE WOMEN ARE SO FREAKED OUT.

  • THE MEN HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER.

  • AND THE WOMEN ARE LIKE, "WHAT'S HAPPENING?

  • I DIDN'T READ THE CONTRACT."

  • THEN THE COUPLES GO ON DATES, AND THEN--

  • THEY DON'T JUST GO, LIKE, ON A REGULAR DATE,

  • LIKE TO DINNER AND A MOVIE.

  • THEY GO-- THIS IS A ZIP-LINING DATE.

  • AND WHAT COULD GO WRONG, REALLY?

  • - I JUST HOPE WE DON'T GET STUCK,

  • 'CAUSE THEN WE'RE IN TROUBLE.

  • - [laughing] YEAH.

  • - OH, MY GOD.

  • - [laughs]

  • WHOO!

  • - [singing] WHOA, OH, OH, OH

  • - OH, MY GOD. WHOO!

  • OH, [bleep]. [bleep].

  • - I'M SURE THEY'RE FINE.

  • THEY WERE WEARING HELMETS.

  • THEY'RE FINE.

  • WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO THEM?

  • ANOTHER COUPLE WENT ON A BOAT,

  • AND I GUESS HE THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE ROMANTIC.

  • - SITTING ON THE BOAT WITH CAMILLE

  • WITH THE WIND IN OUR HAIR--

  • WHY NOT MAKE THIS A "TITANIC" MOMENT?

  • [sweet music]

  • GO FOR THE BOW.

  • YOU CAN GET AROUND THAT.

  • - [squeals] - COME ON.

  • DON'T FALL.

  • [music continues]

  • - OH. OH.

  • BEAUTIFUL.

  • SO BEAUTIFUL.

  • SO THE GIRL WHO WENT ZIP-LINING--

  • REMEMBER THAT GIRL?

  • AFTER THE ACCIDENT, LET'S SEE HOW THINGS WORKED OUT

  • IN THE WHOLE SHOW FOR HER.

  • - I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT "NAKED DATING."

  • TAKE YOUR PICTURE, BITCHES.

  • - KATIE,

  • SORRY ABOUT YOUR FACE.

  • [laughter]

  • IT WILL HEAL.

  • HOPEFULLY, YOUR HONESTY HERE WILL ALLOW YOU TO DATE

  • IN A TOTALLY DIFFERENT WAY IN THE FUTURE.

  • - LOOK FOR HER NEW SHOW.

  • IT'S CALLED "NAKED AND ANGRY."

  • AND NOW I SHALL HAPPILY DANCE WITH MY CLOTHES ON.

- DON'T YOU LOVE TELEVISION? IT'S A WONDERFUL INVENTION.

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Naked Television

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    鄭小鬼 posted on 2016/08/08
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