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  • I have been online dating for almost 20 years. And it’s on online dating that I met my

  • current boyfriend. By the time I met him, I actually had to review

  • 15 000 profiles. As online dating is becoming the most common

  • way to meet a partner, there is a high chance that either you or your friends are currently

  • online dating or will soon. I am here to help you avoid having to go through

  • 15 000 profiles before you find the right one. I’m going to share with you a proven

  • method that is going to allow you to create a profile that is going to act like a magnet

  • to the best possible matches out there. [cheers] Thanks!

  • [laughter] But let’s get started! Who never was on

  • online dating? Ok, quite a bit.., quite a bit.

  • Alright, so I need to tell you that among the vast majority of profiles, there are some

  • profiles that will make you think that some people do come from slightly different planets,

  • remember the video (shown) before. You might face cat lovers that think that

  • more is more. Or little mermaids playing in the water. [laughter]

  • You might find that actually posing with a tiger is pretty fundamental. Maybe they are

  • trying to tame the tiger. If you don’t have a tiger

  • …. you just make it happen! [laughter] No excuses allowed, ok? [laughter]

  • And then you might find that sometimes, you aren’t speaking the same language than other users. [laughter]

  • Out of those absurd moments, I created a blog

  • and this blog is called Where the F is Romeo? As I was putting together this blog, I found

  • myself really interested actually by online dating from a societal point of view. I read

  • articles, watched documentaries, I even consulted a psychologist to really understand the deep

  • dynamic of online dating. What I also did was to go on forums, reading

  • about it, reading about people and their experiences. And what I found was that there were hundreds

  • of people really disappointed with the online dating experience.

  • There were people that never got an answer to any of their messages. People who went

  • to memorable dates, but which were memorable for the wrong reasons. And then simply people

  • that never found what they were looking for online.

  • I started interacting with them, and trying to understand what was behind that.

  • Why them and not other people. And what I found were two things.

  • First of all, their profiles were always generic. Yeah? You read one, you read them all. And

  • for those who don’t have experience in online dating, I put together some examples.

  • 1.85, speak Italian, English and French. Love sports, going out, drinks, easy going and

  • addicted to happiness. You want more?

  • Love outdoors. Travel, food, culture geek.

  • Love to eat good food. [laughter] I mean, to be frank, a part from the height

  • and the languages spoken, who doesn’t recognize him or herself in those descriptions? I mean,

  • I know I do and I think pretty much everybody do, so? With generic profiles it’s just

  • very hard to meet a special person. So that was my first learning.

  • The second learning was that part of the frustration was originated by a confusion. You see, people

  • were trying to associate online dating to a social environment they already knew (a

  • bar or a party). But the truth is that there is no such a bar with endless possible partners

  • out there. However, while online dating is very different

  • to a social environment we know, it is actually pretty close to a situation we encounter pretty

  • often. And this is when we try to buy electronics, detergents, and hygienic paper (toilet paper)!

  • Ok? So we have, we are trying to close a deal, so make a purchase, there are homogeneous

  • products and competition is very high. And actually this is what’s happening in online

  • dating. Here the deal is try to go on a date, among

  • homogeneous profiles, in a highly competitive environment.

  • As per detergents, with online dating we have to find a solution to attract the user’s

  • attention, and close the deal. And you know very well what that is: Marketing.

  • Marketing indeed is what helps differentiating products. It’s what drives people choosing

  • one product instead of another. By applying marketing principles to online

  • dating, we are going to have a profile that is going to attract people and attract the

  • best matches among those people. But enough of the theory, I know you wanna

  • to get started with concrete stuffs. So, let’s get started. Let’s imagine that

  • you are a man on an online platform trying to meet a female partner, ok?

  • As for every marketing idea, it always starts with one thing, and that’s the Brief.

  • The brief here is: create a profile leading to a great encounter.

  • To deliver on the brief, most of you know very well, we need to:

  • Look at the target group, what’s the target group definition, the needs and her barriers

  • to trial. What are the points of parity? And of course the points of difference.

  • Let’s start with the target group. Most men online think that their target group

  • is a woman let’s say 30-35 years old single who wants to go on a date'.

  • But which woman single 30-35 doesn’t wanna go on a date?

  • (laugher) Of course, we need to dig deeper.

  • To save some time I decided that our target group is a woman that has a sense of humor,

  • who is generous, she has a successful career, she likes mountain sports, and then watching

  • fantasy and comedy TV shows.” [laughter] Now let’s have a look at her needs. Here

  • again she doesn’t only wanna go on a date. It’s not that easy, unfortunately for men.

  • [laughter] So her needs, I decided that she is looking

  • for a 30-40 years old man, who is funny of course, who is going to support her and her

  • career, a companion both at home watching TV and doing sport in the mountains and a

  • person she could project herself into starting a family with.

  • Now, barriers to trial. Many men ignore that some women are on online

  • dating platforms but still are reticent to meet them. But you have me so now you know.

  • You can run a consumer research, right? Talk with your friends that are part of the target

  • group or similar to the target group. What are the reasons they wouldn’t meet a person

  • online and then offline. And very often the word that is going to pop

  • up isweird’. [laughter] What do I mean by weird? There are two fears.

  • The first one is that it’s going to feel weird to go on a date with a stranger. Second,

  • there is the fear of meeting a weird guy. And it’s a real fear. [laughter]

  • It is very important we remember this when we are going to define our profile because

  • we need to overcome this barrier. We need to reassure women, our target group that we

  • are not weird. Points of parity. The points of parity are

  • the rules we have to follow for us to have a chance of success online.

  • Like before, you can run a consumer research, you can, you know, read from the experts and

  • I have here 3 resources. Naturally my blog: you are going to learn what not to do. Don’t

  • do what’s on the blog please. Then you can read about the ABC Tinder experiment,

  • and then you can read about Tinderhacks. What you are going to learn is that the point

  • of parity online is the profile picture. To have a chance of success it needs to be high

  • quality, you need to look good or at least well groomed, the first pic needs to be you

  • alone, and then the other pictures need to show your hobbies. If you have a dog, or can

  • get a dog, you throw it in the profile. [laughter] Because it is really going to increase the

  • chances of open of your messages. Now, I mean, I wanna, you know, get you, you

  • know, ahead of the rest of the online dating people.

  • So I’m going to share with you my personal rules, ok?

  • Those are real cases, [laughter] those are real pictures. [laughter]

  • If you recognize yourself in one of the pictures, I’m sorry, [laughter] I am sorry. And then

  • I hope that at the end of this presentation you will know what to do to fix it, ok?

  • Ok, first rule. You need to show your face! You would be surprised by the number of people

  • not showing their face! I mean, your target group might love cucumbers, but you don’t

  • have to put them on your face. [laughter] Another rule is: don’t overdo it !

  • You need to cut through the clutter, but in the right way. [laughter] Yes, I know, yes!

  • When I look at this one I always think about Batman, yes. [laughter] But you thinkno,

  • these are exceptions!”. [laughter] Ok, ok, ok.

  • Another very important rule that is often ignored: avoid toilets, ok? [laughter] Toilets

  • no, no, not sexy yeah? [laughter] And don’t hurt animals, ok? Please! [sad

  • sounds] Very well, back to the brief.

  • What we need to do now is to look at the points of difference.

  • This is what is going to really make your profile irresistible to the best matches in

  • the target group, that’s why it is very important.

  • So the question we need to answer iswhat makes you unique?”

  • And there are actually hundreds of things that make you unique. From the fact that you

  • like spicy tartare in Paris, or that you went to Patagonia last summer, or the fact that

  • you need a double espresso with cinnamon in the morning to wake up. Even if it is weird,

  • I mean, this is your thing. You really need to spend time thinking about

  • what makes you unique. This is the thing that is going to make the difference in terms of

  • your matches. I’ve decided, that as part of the exercise,

  • what makes you unique are two things: you cook Italian food and you believe you are

  • the best in town. And second you are the fastest skier of Switzerland. Yep, I decided.

  • Ok, so, are you ready to look at the profile? [yes!]

  • Okidoki. Alright, meet Alex. [cheers] Let’s focus on the picture first. [whistle]

  • Yes, very good picture. It has very nice lighting, it’s high resolution, he is alone and most

  • importantly he is not in a toilet. Now let’s look at the description.

  • Worldwide champion of cooking lasagne while tumbling down a ski slope. I love recovering

  • with marathons of The Walking Dead or Silicon Valley TV shows. The rest of the time I work

  • in a law firm, spend time with my nephews and Peppa Pig, and walk my dog Joe. [laughter]

  • He is ticking all boxes, right? [laughter] He is funny, he is reassuring, he really looks

  • like a normal guy. So he is overcoming those barriers to trial we were talking about. When

  • we look at the other pictures, he is also overcoming the barriers, yeah? He looks normal

  • and he has a dog. I know some girls are already checking online.

  • Alex doesn’t exist. [sad sounds] I know, I love him too. I created him so that you

  • can see how marketing principles can be used on online dating.

  • Now before you, and especially the people who recognized themselves in the pictures

  • before, try to change your profile, I want to leave you just with one thought.

  • Online dating is raising and it’s here to stay. I really believe that with marketing

  • principles you can make it a fulfilling experience. With a bit of luck, you could even find love.

  • And for this reason I thought it was an idea worth spreading.

  • Thank you!

I have been online dating for almost 20 years. And it’s on online dating that I met my

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