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  • - Well hi babes! Some of you probably already know

  • that I have a 16 year old brother.

  • This is him, he's basically my favorite person on the planet

  • he's up there on the list for reasons why

  • feminism is important to me.

  • Boys face a number of pressures related to their gender.

  • For example, pressure to be physically tall

  • and muscular, to push down feelings,

  • especially fear and pain,

  • to never cry or be vulnerable.

  • Pressure to be into sports or to have manly hobbies.

  • To prove yourself using violence

  • or intimidation to solve problems.

  • To prove your manhood by having lots of sex.

  • Learning to see women as sex objects

  • and struggling to have meaningful relationships with them.

  • Pressure to be one of the guys, to make harmless jabs

  • at each other meant to establish dominance.

  • Pressure to be the protector in a relationship,

  • never the protected.

  • To be the breadwinner, the handyman, the money manager.

  • To pursue physically demanding,

  • dangerous, or even violent jobs.

  • Pressure to be the leader and to always have the answers.

  • Is this sexism against men?

  • Sexism is about exclusion and unequal power in society.

  • It's about discrimination between individuals

  • that bleeds into the workplace and into the law.

  • It's about shaming, belittling, and devaluating the feminine.

  • Notice how many of the pressures that boys face

  • come down to defining themselves against women.

  • "I'm a man because I'm not emotional! Like women."

  • "I'm not physically small. Like women."

  • "I know how to throw a ball or even a punch.

  • "Unlike women."

  • So much of the pressures that boys face in the world

  • come down to the expectation that they not be like girls.

  • These gender specific pressures are a side effect of sexism.

  • It's one version of masculinity.

  • One way to be a real man that we oppose on boys

  • in a million subtle ways all throughout their lives.

  • And the effects of that are serious.

  • From men who are told to oppress their emotion so long

  • that they can't physically cry anymore.

  • To men who are left emotionally

  • stunted in their relationships.

  • Caring fathers who can't get custody because

  • nurturing is a girl thing.

  • Men who are raped and not believed.

  • A real man? A real man wants sex all the time!

  • He must have liked it.

  • Version of masculinity is also connected to homophobia.

  • Gay men are demonized because their stereotyped as feminine.

  • They like to take care of their appearance,

  • they like to dance, they sleep with men.

  • Too much like women!

  • It's also uncomfortable when men date men

  • or women date women.

  • Who's the "woman" in the relationship?

  • Who's the "man?"

  • How do relationships without gender roles

  • and gender powered dynamics even exist?!

  • (screams)

  • And, wanna go a step deeper.

  • it's connected to transphobia as well.

  • Transphobia stems from fear and insecurity

  • about people violating gendered norms and hierarchies.

  • Violence against trans women is especially common

  • because she's seen as a man who's lowering himself

  • to the level of a woman.

  • And all that is why feminism is like,

  • "Oh, hey! So this is kind of BS."

  • And it's actually terrible for society,

  • There's more than one way to be a man or a woman.

  • We all have a combination of feminine and masculine traits.

  • It's part of being human!

  • Let's teach boys and girls to value

  • equality, respect, non-violence.

  • Instead of power, dominance, and aggression.

  • Let's build a world where boys and girls

  • can feel, can cry when they're sad...

  • When we accept that emotions are part of being a human being

  • we teach boys and girls to manage them in healthy ways.

  • Where anyone can be the stay-at-home parent

  • and it's no thing,

  • Where you could choose to wear a dress or a tux

  • and no one cares because it's just clothes!

  • Where women and men can be nurturers and protectors,

  • nurtured and protected.

  • Where girls and boys can be leaders.

  • Where you can be strong sometimes

  • and weak other times, a full dynamic human--

  • they can't be shoved into a box and told who to be.

  • Obviously, the fact that women and girls face inequalities

  • is reason enough to stand up against sexism.

  • But let's not forget, that sexism also affects men and boys.

  • It affects gay men, lesbian women, trans folk,

  • everyone in between!

  • Understanding how these inequalities and attitudes

  • permeate our society and working to correct them,

  • is in the best interest of everyone.

  • Thanks for listening, babes. I'll see you next time.

- Well hi babes! Some of you probably already know

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