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  • A philosophy of ORAL SEX

  • It has to do with loneliness and self-disgust

  • When we begin as babies in this world

  • if we're lucky, everything about us is acceptable and adorable, from our toes to our temples

  • Then gradually we grow up

  • and become shamed of our nakedness and guilty about so much

  • it becomes taboo to touch and be touched

  • we have no choice but to keep a minimum of 60, or even better, 90 cm distance

  • between us and others at all times

  • but deep inside, we never quite forget the needs with which we were born

  • to be accepted as we truly are

  • in every area

  • hence the significance of oral sex

  • it sounds disgusting when we think of doing it with an innapropriate person, and that's the point

  • Nothing is erotic that isn't also, with the wrong person, revolting

  • But with the right person

  • at the precise juncture where disgust could be at its height

  • we feel only acceptance

  • welcoming permission

  • The privileged nature of a relationship is sealed by an act which with someone would've been sickening

  • Oral sex is interesting and exciting because it's about closeness

  • Normal life continually requires us to be polite so much of the time

  • We have to repress all that's ostensibly bad within us

  • our lust and our desires

  • We can't both be accepted by society and reveal who we really are

  • hence the erotic ecstasy

  • which is more accurately, really, just emotional relief

  • when oral sex permits our secret self with all its bad and dirty sides

  • to be witnessed and enthusiastically endorsed by someone else

  • The bond of loyalty between a couple

  • grows stronger with every increase in explicitness

  • the more unacceptable our behavior would be to the larger world

  • the more we feel as if we're building a haven of mutual acceptance

  • Sex liberates us for a time, and that punishing dichotomy between dirty and clean

  • It literally purifies us by engaging the most apparently polluted sides of ourselves in its games

  • We can press our mouths, the most public and respectable aspects of our faces

  • eagerly to the most contaminated parts of the other

  • Thereby symbolizing a total psychological approval

  • much as a priest would accept a penitent

  • guilty of many transgressions

  • back in the fold of the church with a light kiss up on the head

  • The pleasure of oral sex is deeply rich and significant

  • It isn't primarily about a pleasant physiological sensation at all

  • it's about psychology, acceptance and a promise of an end to loneliness

A philosophy of ORAL SEX

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