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  • >> Jon: YOU KNOW, WE'VE BEEN

  • TALKING ABOUT PRESIDENT

  • OBAMA'S SPEECH LAST NIGHT

  • BUT FOR EVERY STATE OF THE

  • UNION, WHICH I THINK IS THE

  • LAW OF FISIC, THERE MUST

  • ALSO BE THE POST SPEECH

  • OPPOSITION RESPONSE.

  • AND I'M EXCITED ABOUT IT.

  • IT MEANS IT'S TIME TO HAND

  • OUT THIS YEAR'S IMPLODE

  • YEAST.

  • FOR OUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENT

  • IN UNFORCED RESPONSE SPEECH

  • ERROR, PREVIOUS WINNERS

  • INCLUDE DRY LIPS McGEE.

  • AND CRAZY EYES WHERE I DO

  • LOOK?

  • AND OLD BOBBY [BLEEP] I'M

  • GOING TO JAIL.

  • SO WHO IS GOING HOME WITH

  • THE IMPLODIE THIS YEAR?

  • >> JONI ERNST IS GIVING THE

  • REPUBLICAN SPORS.

  • >> A TEA PARTY FAVORITE.

  • >> VERY STRONG.

  • >> INSTANT GOP ROCK STAR.

  • >> A WOMAN WHO RIDES A

  • HARLEY.

  • >> SHE GREW UP CASS

  • STRAIGHT-- CASTRATING PIGS.

  • >> TRYING TO MAKE THEM

  • SQUEAL IN WASHINGTON.

  • >> Jon: OH MAN, GOP IS

  • BRINGING THE FUNK.

  • WITHOUT BETTER THAN A HOG

  • BALL BULL DOZEIN SQUEAL

  • GENERATING HARLEY'S ANGEL TO

  • GRAB THE ATTENTION WITH

  • VITALITY OF THE AMERICAN

  • PEOPLE.

  • TAKE IT AWAY, SENATOR.

  • >> GROW-- GROWING UP, HI

  • ONLY ONE GOOD PAIR OF SHOES.

  • SO ON RAINY SCHOOL DAYS, MY

  • MOM WOULD SLIP PLASTIC BREAD

  • BAGS OVER THEM, BUT I WAS

  • NEVER EMBARRASSED.

  • BECAUSE THE SCHOOL BUS WOULD

  • BE FILLED WITH ROWS AND ROWS

  • OF YOUNG IOWAANS WITH BREAD

  • BAGS SLIPPED OVER THEIR FEET.

  • >> Jon: IS THAT YOU, SIRI?

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

  • >> Jon: YOU KNOW, THAT

  • SEEMED LIKE LESS OF A

  • RESPONSE TO THE PRESIDENT'S

  • ADDRESS THAN AN APPLICATION

  • ESSAY TO NOSTALGIA

  • UNIVERSITY.

  • NOSTALGIA UNIVERSITY, IT WAS

  • BETTER WHEN YOUR DAD WENT

  • THERE.

  • WHAT IS ERNST TRYING TO

  • ACCOMPLISH BY TELLING HERR

  • ORIGIN STORY.

  • >> HER JOB WAS TO HUMANIZE

  • THE REPUBLICAN PARTY.

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> Jon: WELL, IF HER JOB WAS

  • TO HUMANIZE THE REPUBLICAN

  • PARTY, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

  • ALL RIGHT.

  • SO THAT WAS THE REPUBLICAN

  • RESPONSE.

  • AND I GUESS BECAUSE SHE'S

  • THE TEA PARTY SWEETHEART, IT

  • COUNTS AS A TEA PARTY

  • RESPONSE AS WELL.

  • SO I GUESS WE'RE DONE.

  • THAT'S ALL-- CONDITIONS CURT

  • CLAWSON GIVING THE TEA PARTY

  • RESPONSE.

  • >> Jon: WHAT?

  • I THOUGHT 14E WAS THE

  • TEA-- ALL RIGHT, I GUESS HE

  • BETTER HAVE SOMETHING PRETTY

  • IMPORTANT TO SAY TO JUSTIFY

  • A SEPARATE OFFICIAL

  • RESPONSE.

  • >> DECADES AGO I PLAYED

  • BASKETBALL AT PURDUE.

  • WE HAD A GUARD FROM THE WEST

  • COAST, A FORWARD FROM GARY,

  • A POST PLAYER FROM

  • CINCINNATI,.

  • >> Jon: A SMALL-- FROM

  • TIJUANA AN ASSISTANT COACH

  • FROM THE THIRD MOON OF

  • JUPITER.

  • AND WE HAD A JEWISH WATER

  • BOY WITH SOME KIND OF SPEECH

  • IMPEDIMENT.

  • IT ALL WENT-- ALL RIGHT.

  • INSPIRING BASKETBALL MELTING

  • POT ANECDOTE DELIVERED.

  • THOSE WERE THE TWO TEA PARTY

  • RESPONSES AND WE'RE DONE.

  • SO THAT'S --

  • >> RAND PAUL IS GIVING ON

  • HIS OWN YOUTUBE CHANNEL A

  • RESPONSE.

  • >> LIBERAL ELITES FLY OVER

  • MY SMALL TOWN BUT THEY DON'T

  • UNDERSTAND US.

  • THEY SIMPLY SEEK TO IMPOSE

  • THEIR WILL UPON US.

  • >> Jon: LIBERAL ELITES?

  • YOU'RE A DOCTOR AND A

  • SENATOR WITH A 12-TERM

  • CONGRESSMAN FATHER AND A

  • FIRST NAME SYNONYMOUS WITH A

  • RUSSIAN NOVELIST?

  • THAT'S PRETTY [BLEEP] ELITE.

  • SO I GUESS THE ENGINEER HERE,

  • LIBERAL, FINE, WE GOT THE

  • RESPONSE TO THE TEA PARTY

  • RESPONSE TO THE TEA PARTY

  • RESPONSE.

  • I ASSUME THAT'S ALL.

  • >> A RESPONSE FROM ANOTHER

  • POTENTIAL PRESIDENTIAL

  • CANDIDATE TED CRUZ.

  • >> Jon: HOW MANY [BLEEP]

  • PEOPLE ARE AT THIS TEA PARTY?

  • AND WHAT DID THIS GUY PUT ON

  • HIS FEET WHEN IT RAINED.

  • >> MEDIAN INCOMES HAVE

  • STAGNATED FOR OVER A DECADE.

  • >> LET ME START OVER.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

  • >> Jon: HERE'S A TIP.

  • IF ARE YOU LOOKING TO RUN

  • FOR PRESIDENT, MAYBE YOU

  • SHOULDN'T MAKE YOUR RESPONSE

  • TO THE STATE OF THE UNION

  • LOOK LIKE A RANSOM VIDEO.

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • OR THE PART OF THE PORNO

  • EVERYBODY FAST TOWARDS

  • THROUGH.

  • SENATOR CRUZ, I PRESENT TO

  • YOU THIS YEAR'S IMPLODIE.

>> Jon: YOU KNOW, WE'VE BEEN

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B1 tea party response jon tea party republican

The Daily Show - Majority Retort

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    VoiceTube posted on 2016/07/08
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