Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • I SAY RIGHT NOW WE TURN TOWARDS THE MIDDLE EAST.

  • >> YEMEN EVOLVES INTO CHAOS. SAUDI TANKS ON THEIR WAY TO THE

  • BORDER.

  • >> IRAN DEPLOYING ITS WARSHIPS TO THE GULF OF ADEN.

  • >> A MUCH LARGER PROXY WAR BETWEEN SHIITES AND SUNNIS.

  • >> YEMEN HAS LONG BEEN HOME TO AL QAEDA.

  • >> THE HOUTHI REBELS HAVE TAKEN OVER SANAA.

  • >> THE U.S. ALSO STEPPING UP AIR STRIKES ON ISIS.

  • >> IT'S GETTING VERY, VERY COMPLICATED.

  • >> Jon: WELL, TO BE FAIR, HE IS EASILY CONFUSED.

  • BUT IN THIS CASE, IT'S TRUE.

  • THERE'S SO MANY PROXY WARS GOING ON IN THE MIDDLE EAST,

  • IT ALMOST APPEARS AT TIMES THAT WE ARE FIGHTING OURSELVES.

  • TO HELP US UNDERSTAND TO THE VARIOUS ANGLES OF OPERATION

  • SANDY QUAGMIRE WE ARE JOINED BY SENIOR MIDDLE EAST

  • CORRESPONDENT BASSEM YOUSSEF.

  • BASSEM, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE, MY FRIEND.

  • GREAT TO SEE YOU. GREAT TO SEE YOU, BASSEM.

  • >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

  • >> Jon: NICE TO SEE YOU.

  • >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

  • WHATEVER, JON, WHATEVER.

  • YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. YEAH.

  • >> Jon: I GOT TO TELL, YOU SEEM LESS THAN EXCITED TO BE

  • HERE.

  • LAST TIME IT SEEMED LIKE YOU WERE EXCITED TO BE HERE.

  • WHAT IS UP, BASSEM. TALK TO ME.

  • >> YEAH, NOTHING.

  • ALTHOUGH I SEE THAT WHILE I WAS AWAY, YOU PICKED SOME

  • OTHER GUY TO REPLACE YOU.

  • >> Jon: TREVOR NOAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

  • HE'S GOING TO REPLACE ME ON THE PROGRAM WHEN I LEAVE.

  • THAT'S, THAT'S --

  • >> SO YOU WANTED A HANDSOME YOUNG COMEDIAN FROM AFRICA?

  • HELLO!

  • YEAH, YEAH!

  • WHAT, JON, EGYPT IS NOT AFRICAN ENOUGH FOR YOU?

  • >> Jon: OH YEAH, EGYPT IS IN AFRICA.

  • >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

  • SO JON, YOU CAN IMAGINE WHAT A BEAUTIFUL ROLLING STONE COVER

  • I WOULD HAVE HAD-- (LAUGHTER)

  • >> Jon: WHO IS HOLDING YOUR CHEST THERE?

  • >> THERE WAS SOMEONE HOLDING MY CHEST?

  • >> Jon: YES, I THINK SO.

  • >> WELL, ANYWAY, YOU HAD SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT THE MIDDLE

  • EAST.

  • >> Jon: YES.

  • >> YEAH SO, AS WE SAY WHERE I COME FROM, SHOOT.

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> Jon: ALL RIGHT.

  • SO HERE IS THE DEAL, HERE IS WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

  • WE'RE FIGHTING ISIS AND AL QAEDA.

  • WE'RE TRYING TO KEEP NUKES AWAY FROM IRAN BUT NOW WE'RE

  • SOMEHOW INVOLVED IN A PROXY WAR IN YEMEN ON THE SIDE OF

  • IRAN BUT NOT-- HERE IS MY QUESTION, WHO SHOULD WE

  • WORRY ABOUT?

  • WHO IS ACTUALLY COMING TO KILL US?

  • >> NONE OF THEM.

  • >> Jon: GET THE [BLEEP] WHAT?

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> Jon: SAY THAT AGAIN.

  • >> WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. LET ME EXPLAIN.

  • OKAY, I WILL START WITH MY COUNTRY, EGYPT.

  • >> Jon: YOU KNOW IT IS IN AFRICA.

  • >> VERY GOOD, JON, YOU'RE LEARNING. OKAY, SO REMEMBER THE

  • MUSLIM BROTHERHOOD.

  • >> Jon: YES, YES, GUNS, BEARDS, SUNNI, BRIEFLY IN

  • CHARGE OF EGYPT.

  • >> YES, UNTIL THE MILITARY THREW THEM OUT WITH BACKING

  • FROM THE SAUDIS.

  • WELL NOW, THE SAUDIS AND THE EGYPTIAN ARMY ARE FIGHTING

  • SHIITE REBELS TOGETHER IN YEMEN.

  • AND GUESS WHO IS FIGHTING ALONGSIDE THEM.

  • >> Jon: YES, YES, IT'S CHUCK NORRIS.

  • >> YES, CLOSE, THE MUSLIM BROTHERHOOD IN YEMEN.

  • >> Jon: THE MUSLIM BROTHERHOOD IN YEMEN ARE

  • ALLIES WITH THE GUYS WHO THREW THEM OUT OF EGYPT.

  • THEY'RE BUDDIES NOW.

  • >> OF COURSE NOT, THEY JUST LIKE HATE THE [BLEEP]

  • OUT OF EACH OTHER.

  • >> Jon: ALL RIGHT.

  • >> THEY JUST HAPPEN TO BE POINTING THEIR GUNS AT THE

  • SAME PEOPLE RIGHT NOW.

  • AND GUESS WHO ELSE IS ROOTING FOR TEAM SAUDI?

  • >> Jon: CHUCK NORRIS' BROTHER?

  • >> CLOSE.

  • ISIS AND AL QAEDA.

  • THOSE ASSHOLES ARE SO HAPPY THAT SHIA ARE GETTING

  • KILLED IN YEMEN, THEY ARE POPPING THEIR HALAL CHAMPAGNE.

  • >> Jon: BUT THAT, SO THAT'S WHAT THIS IS THOUGH.

  • SO THE WAY TO FIGURE THIS OUT IS THE SUNNI SHIA SPLIT,

  • SUNNI'S ALWAYS GONNA HAVE A SUNNI'S BROTHER'S BACK.

  • >> YES. >> Jon: YES.

  • >> EXCEPT IN IRAQ.

  • >> Jon: GOD.

  • >> WHERE THE SUNNI COALITION IS FIGHTING ALONGSIDE THE SHI'A

  • MILITIAS AGAINST ISIS.

  • >> Jon: THIS IS NUTS -- IS THIS SOME KIND OF NEW PSYCHOLOGICAL

  • TERRORISM WHERE THEY TRY TO CONFUSE US TO DEATH?

  • >> LET ME PUT THIS IN TERMS YOU CAN UNDERSTAND.

  • YOU KNOW MARCH MADNESS?

  • >> Jon: OF COURSE I KNOW MARCH MADNESS.

  • >> GOOD. CONSIDER THIS CONSTANT INTRACTABLE MADNESS.

  • LOOK HOW MANY TEAMS HAVE TO PLAY AGAINST EACH OTHER AND

  • THIS IS JUST ONE DIVISION.

  • WE'RE NOT EVEN TO THE ELITE EIGHT YET.

  • AND AMERICA IS ALREADY IN THE FINALS.

  • >> Jon: WE'RE IN THE FINALS?

  • >> YES.

  • >> Jon: USA!

  • WAIT, WAIT, WAIT -- >> USA, USA.

  • >> Jon: WOW, REALLY.

  • >> THEY'RE SO LIKE WARMONGERS?

  • >> Jon: TALKING ABOUT GETTING US IN A WAR.

  • >> SERIOUSLY!

  • >> IS IT REALLY THAT EASY?

  • ALL RIGHT.

  • SO WHOEVER MAKES IT OUT OF THE ROUND OF 64, SUNNI,

  • SHI'A, MONARCHY, DEMOCRACY, INSURGENCY, TRIBAL, MILITARY,

  • THEOCRACY, WHATEVER TEAM,

  • ADVANCES TO THE FINAL ROUND.

  • >> GETS TO GO HEAD-TO-HEAD WITH THE GREAT SATAN.

  • THAT'S YOU.

  • >> Jon: WE KNOW.

  • >> YES.

  • >> Jon: SO WHO IS YOUR MONEY ON TO WIN THE WHOLE THING?

  • >> THE SAME PEOPLE WHO ALWAYS WIN, THE GUYS WHO RUN

  • THE GAME.

  • >> Jon: NCAA. THE NCAA.

  • >> NO, THE MCAM, MILITARY CONTRACTORS AND ARMS

  • MANUFACTURERS.

  • >> Jon: YEAH, I SEE.

  • >> YEAH. THEY MAKE MONEY OFF EVERY TEAM IN THE BRACKET,

I SAY RIGHT NOW WE TURN TOWARDS THE MIDDLE EAST.

Subtitles and vocabulary

Click the word to look it up Click the word to find further inforamtion about it