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  • Once upon a time, in a town not too one like your own.

  • There lived a beautiful girl with an impossible dream.

  • Ever since she was a child, she wished on her birthday

  • that one day, she'll become a real-life princess

  • Tomorrow night, at her party, she'll celebrate with all her princess friends.

  • Oh my God, you have to save me, please.

  • Oh las, real life women are never back to be perfect in everywhere. (what's wrong?)

  • No one will buy me a drink. I hate my step sisters. I can't find a boyfriend.

  • And mice made this dress.

  • What are you gonna do about it?

  • I guess I can stand up for myself. (yes!)

  • No, I am trying to wait for a man to save me.

  • Here's why it's a terrible idea to become a Disney princess in real life.

  • Do you want to go to the latest party? Go away

  • Yeah, he's cute, hot and dreamy. Wow, husband.

  • You haven't met with the guy yet.

  • It is just me? Or is it really cold in here?

  • Hmm, Laila said can you turn the temperature on?

  • No, I don't want to be a part of this.

  • Well, tell her I don't know how.

  • The thermoscope is in your room, duh!

  • Fuck it all, turn the winter for everyone.

  • Oh, it's a magic. My one true love. You wanna make sure he's not pretending to like you so he doesn't stab you in the back and take over our kingdom.

  • Love is a tinder swipe right.

  • Bonjour! Bonjour! Hey Good morning, Belle. Good morning, Alice. Good morning.

  • Hey, girl. Hey, girl. Hey, boy.

  • So...hmm...I believe he's staring at you again, Belle.

  • Well, because I actually read books.

  • God, I'm so peculiar. But you've read that book like a thousand times.

  • I want so much more than this digital life. I need a challenge

  • like that guy.

  • And then you press that on. I'm gonna wreck it.

  • No, he looks dangerous. I can fix him.

  • How much further? Just around the river band.

  • Don't!

  • Do you know how many toxins there are in that over-processed white people crack?

  • But where are we going to have our lunch? Look around you. This is where the path of a paleo gluten-free diet has for us.

  • Why can't we just order some pizza?

  • Listen. Do you hear that? My friends recommend you switch to high intensity functional workout for your muffin top.

  • And it will make you feel like you are one of the universe, you know.

  • Where is that wind coming from?

  • Oh my God. What about this one?

  • So cute! Happy birthday

  • It's cool, my boyfriend told me how to do this. (No)

  • No, but it's stealing. Oh, my God

  • Oh, you look like an old friend, I'm sorry.

  • Your hair is so twisty.

  • Oh my God, you are sneaking some of it? Do you know who I am?

  • Don't care! We're so sorry. You are about to find out!

  • Hello, Daddy? Daddy...

  • They never gets your nose right. Thank you.

  • It's right, mother. It's just me and the girls. Alright, bye.

  • Thank you for coming. My mom would kill me if she knew it was just me and you. Ok

  • It's fine for now. And we're here for Laila's birthday, remember?

  • I'm sorry. Sometimes I just get a little overwhelmed.

  • Not being locked up in my room at all.

  • Why would they give us bloody worms? Girl, it's just Spaghetti.

  • It's Italian, blonde. That sounds gross. Do you have any eggs in that soup?

  • You know, I really love...Don't touch!

  • Happy birthday! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  • Where on the world is Ariel?

  • Now that her birthday party has finally arrived.

  • (Happy birthday) Welcome! which remains the same.

  • I'm not under the sea. I'm standing on dry land.

  • the moral of my story changing for a man.

  • You've always been my friend, my closest BFF.

  • So, listen well. Now that you become a princess.

  • There's a lot of singing going on.

  • My man prefer a lady grow up hair.

  • And my world is blue and my magic blond hair.

  • And I'm ambitious, strong, romantic, imaginative. You're totally replaced.

  • A mother lost was down in Neverland.

  • Take them away, Aurora.

  • I clean for seven men who never give me a hand

  • and don't you be my friend because we'll run way

  • Who cares about our parents cuz they're probably... what's the word?

  • Ooh, I'm not a fish. I'd rather be cold and iced-cold, speechless.

  • We left everything behind for a guy I just met because he's the best best a princess can get.

  • Lights on. Facetime on the weekend. I'll text you when I can. Love you, bye. Seriously?

  • You know what?

  • I would rather be a queen in my own rights. So just crown down, princesses.

  • And she lived happily ever after.

  • Oh my God, I'm so late. Happy birthday. Oh, and I have to leave at midnight which is like 5 minutes so.....

  • Oh! Fuck pumpkins

Once upon a time, in a town not too one like your own.

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