B1 Intermediate UK 40487 Folder Collection
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Hello there I'm John Oliver
host of last week tonight
and we're off this week for the fourth of July
but I wanted to make a video
to wish everyone a happy independence day
or they call it where I'm from July the fourth and that's it
I do hope you have a great day of resting , barbecuing
and preparing to explain your weird tan lines to your coworkers on Tuesday
I fell asleep outside with my hat on backwards
and now my forehead looks like a sunset
I just like to take a quick moment
to remind you of what's you're missing out on by celebrating your independence
by celebrating your independence
because as you know since 1776
you've done very well as a nation
but it might be worth thinking about
just a handful of things that you gave up
when kicking Britain on ceremoniously out of this country
because first there's the matter of your accents
these beautiful vowel sounds could have been yours
but instead from sea to shining sea
you speak like you just burn your tongue on a hot apple pie
you are also missing out on bowler hats
which are prefect for dressing your head
like an circumcised velvet penis
and that is not even mentioning all the cuisine that you lost
for example
meat pies which a lot like British people themselves
a hardened outer layer gives the impression of composure
but under the surface is just a hot mess
but the thing that American are really missing out on is pessimism
Americans are optimistic people
who believe the sky is the limit
whereas in Britain we are painfully aware of our limits
in fact just look at the British sky itself
even the sun is incapable of asserting itself there
British people never make the mistake on developing self esteem
because no matter what we achieved deep down
we know we'll never be as good as the queen
which is to say
an elderly woman who frowns for a living
so just take a moment on this
July the fourth to think about
all that you left behind
and I think you'll realize
honestly you're probably way better of the way the things are
thank you so much for watching this
I do enjoy your holiday
we'll be back on HBO
with a new episode on July twenty forth
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Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Independence Day (Web Exclusive)

40487 Folder Collection
林予倢 published on July 5, 2016    林予倢 translated    Steven reviewed
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