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  • (slow electronic dance music)

  • - So, Dustin, have you thought about

  • my suggestions for tonight?

  • - Hmm...

  • I know it's Valentine's Day, but I really,

  • really don't want anyone to see me.

  • - (sighs) Come on, Dustin, you have to go

  • to your first gay club some time.

  • What if we went to one of the clubs in Orange County?

  • Nobody would recognize you there.

  • - What's up, lovebirds?

  • Guess who just bombed all their finals,

  • and is single AF on V-day?

  • Me.

  • Shane? Smoke break?

  • - It'll be quick, I promise.

  • (bubbly orchestral music)

  • - So, can we go? Can we go?

  • Oh, sorry.

  • (gargles and spits)

  • Dance the night away, yes?

  • No? Maybe so?

  • - (sighs) Okay.

  • - (laughs) Yeah!

  • Really?

  • - Yep, with one condition.

  • - Anything.

  • - I will go to my first gay club,

  • if you promise to quit smoking cigarettes.

  • - What?

  • But, why?

  • That's stressful.

  • Going to a gay club is so much simpler.

  • - That is what you think.

  • - (whines) No. How about one a day?

  • - Nope. - [Shane] One a week?

  • - Uh-uh. - [Shane] Cold turkey?

  • - Yep.

  • It is for your own health

  • - Crazy. Okay, deal.

  • - Emmett's gonna be so sad,

  • he won't have a smoking buddy anymore.

  • - Good, maybe it'll help him quit too.

  • (laughs)

  • (electronic music)

  • (chokes and coughs)

  • - Yeah, they always make the drinks

  • at gay clubs really, really strong.

  • Good for us, though.

  • More bang for your buck.

  • - Thanks for taking me out tonight.

  • - (laughs) Thanks for coming with me.

  • I love when you smile.

  • I remember the first time I saw you laugh.

  • I remember because up until then

  • I wasn't sure you actually liked me or not.

  • - I'm sorry...

  • I'm always so monotone-d. (laughs)

  • - Most people think I hate them when they meet me.

  • - I think it's cute.

  • People just have to earn your smile.

  • It's worth it.

  • (slow electronic dance music)

  • - What's up, guys?

  • Hope you had a sexy time.

  • Guess what?

  • I got stood up by my ex again.

  • Yeah, drove 22 miles.

  • 22.

  • Shane, smoke break?

  • - (laughs) Sorry about the ex, man.

  • Um, I'm actually trying to quit again.

  • - Oh...

  • Okay well, uh, good for you, man.

  • (folky guitar music)

  • - I did it. How's my breath smell now?

  • (breathes out)

  • - Not horrible. (laughs)

  • I'm kidding, better.

  • Thanks for taking me out tonight.

  • It's my first time actually doing something

  • on Valentine's Day.

  • - To quitting smoking!

  • - To doing more gay stuff.

  • (spoons clink together)

  • - Oh nice, you got a big chunk of Oreo.

  • (laughs)

  • (bright guitar music)

(slow electronic dance music)

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