And you must have a lot to be thankful for yourself.

I do.

And I thought, maybe if you'd like,

you're more than welcome

to write out some thank-you notes right now.

Oh, that's a good use of my time.

Is that good?

Let's do that.

[Cheers and applause]

Right here?

Yeah.

You can sit right there.

Okay.

All right.

All right. Here you go. I have notes right here for you.

Okay. You got the cards?

Here's a card. Here's a pen.

All right.

That's a nice pen. Can I keep it?

Of course, yeah.

[Laughter]

All right, Roots,

can I get some thank-you note writing music, please?

[Sad piano music plays]

[Laughter]

There goes James.

[Cheers and applause]

[Music stops]

Thank you, my 2008 slogan, "Yes, we can."

Or as I now like to call you, "Yes, we did."

[ Cheers and applause ]

That's good. I'll take that.

[ Laughter ]

I'll write one now, too.

Okay.

[Clears throat]

[Music resumes]

Thank you, President Obama's birth certificate.

He used to carry you around to prove he was American.

Now he needs to carry you around to prove he's only 54.

[Laughter and applause]

[Music stops]

That's not -- What?

[Scoffs] I didn't' write --

I didn't write it.

I don't know how that got there.

That's unbeliev-- I don't know how that got there.

How'd that sneak -- sneak by the president?

You're in trouble.

[Laughter]

[Music resumes]

Thank you,

Questlove's hairstylist,

for inspiring me to bring back the "Obama-fro"

after I leave the White House.

[Music stops]

[Cheers and applause]

Hey, not bad.

Not bad.

Good-looking guy.

[Music resumes]

Thank you, Hillary Clinton,

for possibly becoming the first f-- President.

I would have said "female,"

but someone deleted the "emale." [e-mail]

[Audience ohs]

[ Music stops ]

Who did -- How are these --

Hey!

You're going to get in trouble for this.

You can't leave these around.

I'm so -- I'm appalled.

I'm so sorry.

Hey, you're in trouble, whoever you --

I'm not sure this was a good idea.

[Laughter]

Sorry.

I should have done my thank-you notes on my own.

After you.

Where's my music?

[Laughter]

[Music resumes]

Thank you, Congress, for spending eight years

wishing you could replace me with a Republican.

Or, to put it another way...

how do you like me now?

[Cheers and applause]

[Music stops]

[Laughs]

All right.

You know how to do this.

I have one final -- one final thank-you note.

Here we go.

[Music resumes]

Thank you, President Obama,

for serving our nation with dignity,

class, patience, eloquence, optimism, and integrity.

Thus marking the first time anyone has sincerely said,

"Thanks, Obama."

There you go, right there.

[Cheers and applause]

Thank you so much.

We'll see you soon.

Our thanks to the 44th President of the United States,

Barack Obama!