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  • Dear Ryan, please remake How to be Ninja.

  • Dear Ryan, can you do, "How to be Ninja 2?"

  • Dear Ryan, can you make "How to be Ninja"?

  • Dear Ryan, How to be Ninja! [How to be Ninja! x7]

  • That video is so old.

  • The sad part is that I think that some of you watching are actually younger than that video.

  • Anyways, it's been like 8 or 9 years since this video came out.

  • A lot of you actually saw it back then.

  • It's one of my most popular videos by far.

  • And probably every single year since, I've been asked to remake this video for some reason.

  • And there's reasons why I never remade that video.

  • I mean first of all, it has tons of copyrighted music in it that almost got my account removed in 2008.

  • Secondly, there's a very offensive joke in this video.

  • That back in the day it was like, I mean it wasn't okay to say, but people could say it and get away with it.

  • Today, I can't get away with it.

  • If you saw the original, you know which part I'm talking about.

  • And last, but most importantly, it's probably one of my most popular videos of all time.

  • And no matter what I do, or how I remake it, you can never beat the original.

  • People naturally love the original more.

  • I mean think about every single movie that was ever remade.

  • The people who watched the original, or read the books always complain about the new version.

  • So I apologize for this misleading title, but I am never going to remake How to be Ninja.

  • It has copyrighted music, it has offensive jokes,

  • and it's never going to meet anyone's expectations, so why do it?

  • It would probably just upset more people who actually enjoyed the original,

  • so I'm sorry. I just can't make it.

  • With that being said, here is a parody of How to be Ninja. Enjoy.

  • AH! Oh, oh sorry.

  • This song is copyrighted

  • and this is kinda racist

  • Woah! *groans in pain*

  • Wah!

  • Give me your money!

  • No!

  • *groans in pain* Stop it! Stop it!

  • Hey you!

  • Who, me?

  • Yeah, you.

  • God?

  • Do you want to learn how to defend yourself?

  • Yeah.

  • Aren't you tired of bullies picking on you all the time?

  • Mhmm.

  • Well then, How to be Ninja 2.0 is the DVD for you!

  • This DVD comes with your two very own personal trainers.

  • Hello, my name is Hanate Wakuso Shiseo Tadashite Teriyaki Suzuki Honda Civic.

  • Hello, my name is Bob.

  • And today we are going to be teaching you how to be ninja!

  • Hata! Hooooo!

  • You're supposed to fall down.

  • Oh. Ooo.

  • The first lesson in being a ninja is to make loud, unnecessary sounds when you hit things.

  • *ninja sounds*

  • Wait a second.

  • *groans in pain*

  • Lesson two. You must be able to catch anything with your chopsticks.

  • Hey, should we change this lesson? I feel like catching things with your chopsticks doesn't really have anything to do with being a ninja.

  • Yes, it does. You just don't want to do it because you know you're going to get hit at the end.

  • No. I-I just think that we don't...

  • *sigh* Fine, I'll do it.

  • Hey! I got it!

  • Hey, wait, where's the green ball? I thought I was supposed to get hit by it.

  • Yeah, about that. I kinda left the green ball in Hawaii so...

  • Oh, now you guys want me in a video.

  • Eight years later with no videos and waiting in Hawaii.

  • Well, you know, we don't even need the green ball 'cause what does a green ball have to do with being a ninja anyway?

  • Yeah, but we have to end this lesson somehow. I mean, I gotta get hit my somet-

  • *gunshot*

  • *groans in pain*

  • Lesson three. A true ninja must be able to teleport from place to place-sudu.

  • And that's how it's done!

  • No, it's not. *all scream*

  • Lesson four. You must be able to transform into anything.

  • You must be able to turn into an animal.

  • *makes monkey sounds*

  • Turn into a tree.

  • Or maybe even a--

  • Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. We can't say that one, remember?

  • Why?

  • That's a gay slur now, and we can't get away with saying that anymore.

  • Right.

  • Alright, let's just go back and do it ag-

  • Or maybe be a politically correct homosexual male.

  • I am just like, equal to, and/or equivalent to everyone else in every way.

  • *ding*

  • Let me just do that one again

  • That sounded so gay.

  • Lesson five, you must be able to preform a fatality.

  • *laughs*

  • *gasp*

  • *scream*

  • *scream*

  • *gasp*

  • *scream*

  • Wait wait wait no no.

  • Why?

  • Why do I always have to get beat up in these?

  • Well, because I'm the one showing the fatalities

  • Why can you do fatalities too?

  • Fine, if you really want to teach, go ahead

  • ok~

  • *gathering energy sound*

  • *gathering energy sound*

  • *gathering energy sound* Green Ball No Jutsu!

  • oh... yeah...

  • *gunshot*

  • If you follow all these lessons

  • You should have come up with something like this

  • *mad groan*

  • Wait

  • The first lesson in being a ninja is to make loud, unnecessary sounds when you hit things.

  • Are you ready?

  • Mortal Kombat

  • *girly scream*

  • *slow-mo groan and scream*

  • *yell*

  • *scream in pain*

  • *yell*

  • Hanate!

  • Bob!

  • Hanate!

  • Bob!

  • Hanate!

  • Bob!

  • Hanate!

  • Oh! Forget this!

  • huh?

  • *gunshot*

  • *catching bullet by chopstick sound*

  • Hey! I got it! I guess catching things with your chopsticks

  • Really do have something to do with being a ninja...

  • - I mean... - Green Ball No Jutsu!

  • Huh?

  • *get hit sound*

  • Teehee!

  • That's wrong...

  • I'm scared, ha ha ha ha...

  • Lower further back

  • Dude, are you...

  • Further back

  • Oh... that's why...

  • *happy scream*

  • Oh I ate my line... Damn it! *laughter*

  • *laughter*

Dear Ryan, please remake How to be Ninja.

Subtitles and vocabulary

B1 US scream lesson dear ryan remake wait ball

How to be Ninja 2.0

  • 758 32
    Janice posted on 2016/06/02
Video vocabulary

Keywords

hit

US /hɪt/

UK /hɪt/

  • verb
  • To have a negative impact on a person/place/thing
  • To press something, such as a button or switch
  • To suddenly realize the importance of something
  • To move your hand, a bat, etc. against with force
  • To strike someone physically.
  • To fight, attack or damage something or someone
  • To arrive at a specific place, level, or goal
  • To make contact with the ball in a game or sport
  • To strike someone or something forcefully.
  • noun
  • A planned killing, usually for money
  • An instance of striking or making contact.
  • Song, movie etc. that is successful
  • When someone strikes someone or something
  • Time when a player makes contact with the ball
  • A successful or popular thing or person.
  • Time when a website is accessed
sound

US /saʊnd/

UK /saʊnd/

  • adjective
  • Sensible, dependable and reliable
  • Unbroken or undisturbed, as of sleep
  • Firm or solid in structure
  • Sane; not mentally ill
  • Clearly reasoned; involving sense, good judgment
  • noun
  • Unique quality that characterizes a style of music
  • Waves traveling in air or water that can be heard
  • verb
  • To seem or appear to be, from what was said
  • To say in a clear deliberate manner
  • To make a noise, e.g. to ring a bell
catch

US /kætʃ, kɛtʃ/

UK /kætʃ/

  • noun
  • Amount of something that has been caught
  • A device for fastening something.
  • A person considered to be a good marriage partner.
  • Trick or something trying to deceive
  • verb
  • To stop something flying and hold it
  • To stop something and not let it go, e.g. animals
  • To contract or be infected with (an illness).
  • To get sick or get a disease from someone else
  • To find someone to do something, a task
  • To intercept and hold (something thrown, propelled, or falling).
  • To get stuck on or in something
  • To discover (someone) in the act of doing something wrong.
  • To be trapped so you can’t escape
  • To be able to understand what someone is saying
  • other
  • To contract or be infected with (a disease).
  • To intercept and hold (something thrown, propelled, or falling).
  • To capture or trap.
  • To hear and understand.
pain

US /pen/

UK /peɪn/

  • noun
  • Strong feeling of hurt or discomfort
  • An annoying or troublesome person or thing.
  • verb
  • To cause someone to feel upset or worry
  • other
  • To cause mental or emotional suffering to.
  • other
  • Mental or emotional suffering or distress.
  • An unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage.
original

US /əˈrɪdʒənəl/

UK /ə'rɪdʒənl/

  • adjective
  • Existing from the beginning.
  • New and interesting.
  • Not a copy; authentic.
  • Being first made, thought or performed; fresh
  • Not derived from anything else; new and inventive.
  • Being unique or thinking differently from others
  • noun
  • A person of fresh initiative or inventiveness.
  • The document, artwork, etc. from which copies are made.
  • A work of art, writing, or music that is not a copy.
video

US /ˈvɪdiˌo/

UK /'vɪdɪəʊ/

  • adjective
  • Of a moving film, with sound
  • Relating to or using video.
  • noun
  • Recording capturing action with sound
  • Moving visual content.
  • The medium of moving visual images.
  • A recording of moving visual images made digitally or on videotape.
  • verb
  • To make a moving film of, with sound
  • other
  • To make a video call.
  • other
  • To record something using a video camera.
lesson

US /ˈlɛsən/

UK /'lesn/

  • noun
  • Something done to learn or teach something; class
  • Wisdom or knowledge received from an experience
scream

US /skrim/

UK /skri:m/

  • noun
  • A sudden loud, high-pitched noise
  • verb
  • To make a sudden loud, high sound
ball

US /bɔl/

UK /bɔ:l/

  • noun
  • Large dance where people dress formally
  • Small round object often used in a game or sport
offensive

US /əˈfɛnsɪv/

UK /əˈfensɪv/

  • adjective
  • Causing displeasure or anger
  • Attacking or intended to attack
  • noun
  • A military attack

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