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  • - Before I begin, I must stress

  • that I'm trained in couples therapy.

  • - Duh. That's why we hired you.

  • - But you two aren't a couple, correct?

  • You're just friends?

  • - Yes, Gary. God! - Keep up.

  • - Okay.

  • Why don't the two of you tell me

  • why we're all here, especially me?

  • - Gary, will you let us just talk?

  • - It's okay. Ian.

  • I'll begin.

  • [sighs] Okay.

  • It all started this morning

  • outside the storage room.

  • [harp music]

  • - Wait! No, no, I wanted to do the flashback music.

  • - All right, fine. Whatever.

  • - Okay.

  • It all started this morning

  • outside the storage room.

  • [harp music]

  • We were having the same conversation

  • we always have.

  • - So where do you want to go for dinner after work?

  • - I don't know. What do you feel like?

  • - I feel like I want you to decide for once.

  • - Okay, Chinese.

  • - No, you know I hate Chinese!

  • - Well, don't ask what I want

  • if you don't want to know the answer.

  • But then things got weird.

  • [all screaming]

  • [laughing]

  • [dramatic beat]

  • - I was really upset.

  • - Sure, walking in on employees disrespecting your space

  • would be upsetting to anyone.

  • - What? No, that part was fine.

  • I was upset because Ian and I

  • just don't find the same things funny anymore.

  • - How could you not find that utterly hilarious?

  • - I don't know. It just didn't grab me.

  • - Gary...

  • you have to help us get our spark back.

  • - Please.

  • [playful music]

  • - [man singing] This is America

  • Land of dreams

  • Everyone can climb higher

  • - [women singing] Not you, though

  • You're stuck here

  • 'Cause you're a part-timer, yeah

  • - [man singing] You can do anything

  • - [woman singing] As long as it's not hard

  • - [man singing] And you can go anywhere

  • - [woman singing] As soon as you get a car

  • - [man singing] You're gonna be a huge success

  • - [woman singing] Come on, that's not who you are

  • - [man singing] You're a part-timer

  • Cursed with full-time dreams

  • And this low-paying job is as bad as it seems

  • Bad as it seems

  • What the [bleep] are you doing here?

  • Whoa

  • What the [bleep] are you doing here?

  • Oh

  • Seriously, dude? - Like, what the [bleep]?

  • - So you guys don't find the same things funny.

  • That's okay.

  • Lots of couples outgrow each other's senses of humor.

  • - We don't want to hear about you and your wife, Gary.

  • - Yeah, ew.

  • - I wasn't--

  • never mind.

  • Let's try to find some common ground.

  • Anton, what makes you laugh?

  • - I don't know.

  • I guess...

  • Okay, you know those posters

  • with a cat hanging on a clothesline

  • with a caption that reads, "Hanging in there"?

  • [both laughing]

  • - Oh, wonderful stuff.

  • Ian, are you seeing the humor here?

  • - No.

  • The only thing that's worse than a cat in a poster

  • is you two right now.

  • - Let's try to keep it positive, Ian, okay?

  • Why don't you share something that you find funny?

  • - Okay, sure, yeah. Gee, let me think.

  • Uh, Pete naked playing beauty shop

  • with Mads' hair.

  • [harp music]

  • - Stop laughing, dude!

  • We were nervous about our first kiss.

  • - So we decided to get more comfortable

  • but helping each other get over our worst fears.

  • - Aw. That makes sense.

  • - Pete is helping me get comfortable

  • with another person touching my hair.

  • - Yeah, and Mads is helping me get comfortable

  • being naked in front of a girl.

  • - Aw, Pete,

  • you're way lamer than I thought.

  • - Dude, shut up.

  • I think it's sweet.

  • - [spits with laughter]

  • - Leave us alone!

  • - Yeah, you're so... insensitive, man.

  • Body issues are real.

  • - Body iss-- [laughing]

  • You're so skinny!

  • Oh! Oh!

  • Oh! Oh!

  • - [laughing hysterically]

  • [harp music]

  • [laughing]

  • Oh, now, that's what I call comedy.

  • - This therapy sucks. I'm going back to the past.

  • - Ian? Ian!

  • Put the harp down, Ian.

  • Let's stay in the present so we can work this out.

  • - The present sucks.

  • There's no naked hair play here.

  • - Now, I'm going to throw some funny things out there,

  • and you guys can giggle

  • whenever something tickles your fancy.

  • [laughing]

  • Ahhhh.

  • How about some physical comedy?

  • I'm going into the basement.

  • - Yeah, that's only funny 'cause of what you're wearing.

  • - Is it, though?

  • Or is it funny because

  • there's no basement door down here?

  • Ha ha!

  • I can't hear laughter.

  • - This guy's the worst. - Seriously.

  • - Okay, there's no need to be rude.

  • - Oh, sorry, I thought you were in the basement.

  • - Ian, why don't you just finish telling your story?

  • - Now? - Go on without me.

  • I threw out my back.

  • - Finally.

  • [harp music]

  • Pete and Mads went looking for some privacy.

  • So, naturally, I followed them.

  • - Stop spying on them.

  • They're having a nice moment.

  • At least someone around here should.

  • - What's that supposed to mean? - Oh, I don't know.

  • I started working out two weeks ago,

  • and you didn't even notice.

  • - Uh, yeah, that's 'cause I don't see you naked?

  • And besides, you're one to talk.

  • You totally missed our friendiversary last month.

  • - Oh, yeah? And what would we have done?

  • Gone to get Chinese food even though you know I hate it?

  • - Okay, look, I can't help it if my palate

  • is a little more sophisticated than yours.

  • - Oh, so now you're better than me? - Shut up!

  • - See, you used to talk to me with respect.

  • - No, I mean, like, be quiet for a second.

  • I think they're about to do the tongue-dango.

  • They're--they're about to kiss?

  • - Um...so...

  • - Uh, you think it's gonna rain?

  • - Are you serious right now?

  • Why aren't you kissing me?

  • - I'm nervous.

  • I say trivial weather stuff when I'm nervous.

  • - I have an idea.

  • Why don't we pretend to be other people?

  • Then we won't have to be so nervous

  • about our first kiss.

  • - Yeah. Good.

  • You know who I want you to be?

  • - Who?

  • - JK Rowling.

  • Hot!

  • - Um, 'kay.

  • [clears throat]

  • And who would that make you, sir?

  • - Well, if you're the famous author,

  • that makes me...

  • Your publisher.

  • - Ooh, am I on a really tight deadline?

  • - The tightest.

  • And, you know, if I don't get your pages soon,

  • I might just have to take back your three-book deal

  • and your advance.

  • - Ooh, I love the pressure.

  • - Oh, me too.

  • [soft music]

  • - JK Rowling? Ha!

  • Dude, your sexual fantasy is so not freaky,

  • it's freaky.

  • - Ugh!

  • [with British accent] I can't get any writing done in here.

  • You'll have to find a place more private.

  • [in regular voice] Oh, and when you do,

  • bring that beard.

  • You know which one.

  • - Well, excuse me, gentlemen.

  • Seems there's a book that needs some publishing,

  • and I'm the only guy for the job. Ha-ha...

  • - Aw.

  • Did you see how much they like being around each other?

  • - What?

  • Okay, how are you not finding this hilarious?

  • [harp music]

  • Anton: And that's when we decided

  • to hire a good therapist.

  • - But they were all booked, so we settled for you.

  • - The feeling is mutual.

  • Let's try one more exercise

  • before we throw in the towel

  • and I never, ever come back again.

  • - Okay. - Good.

  • - I'll re-create a moment of conflict,

  • and we'll play out a resolution

  • that was better than what happened.

  • [dramatic music]

  • Now, I'm Pete, and this is Mads.

  • How does that make you feel?

  • - [laughs]

  • - I feel like this doesn't remind me of Pete or Mads,

  • and now I'm gonna need therapy for this therapy.

  • - What are you talking about? This is hilarious, man.

  • - This might be working for you, but it's not doing it for me.

  • - Don't worry, Ian. Now it's your turn.

  • Anton, I would break this over your head,

  • but the board of California prohibits me

  • from hand-to-hand combat with patients.

  • - But nudity is allowed?

  • - I don't make the rules, Ian.

  • You'll have to do it. - What?

  • - Go ahead, Ian.

  • It's the only way you'll empathize

  • with why Anton was laughing at your head wound.

  • - Okay, I take it back.

  • This therapist is awesome. Rock on, Gare.

  • - How is any of this supposed to help?

  • - Anton, let the healing in.

  • - I'm gonna heal the shit out of you!

  • - No! - Get back here!

  • - No. [plate shatters] -Oh!

  • [Gary moaning] You idiot! Ah! Bloody... help...

  • [both laughing]

  • - Oh! - Talk about a head case.

  • - Hey-oh! [both laughing]

  • And look at that.

  • We're laughing at the same thing.

  • - We're back, man.

  • Wow, Gary. You're a great therapist.

  • - Yeah, I mean, I still hate you but less,

  • which is an important step for me.

  • [romantic music]

  • - Finally, some privacy.

  • You found your beard.

  • - [giggles] Yeah.

  • I ran all the way home.

  • I know how much you like it.

  • - [with British accent] So are you ready

  • to collect my draft, Mr. Random House? -Sure, I am.

  • [both laughing]