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Are you ready? Meatloaf or sesame chicken? I also have personal pizzas.
[11 signs your single is showing]
[You crave human contact] Chloe, so good to see you.
Shh. Let me have this.
[You become a dating app expert] You can only swipe right 25 times with this app. It has a limit.
I hate it every day.
But if you don't want a limit, you should check out Datemate. Unlimited swipes all day.
[You look for anyone to argue with...] In 1,000 feet, turn right onto Vine Street.
How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not going that way.
Turn right onto Vine Street.
God, you never listen to me.
OK, I'm sorry I yelled. You were right about that turn.
[You develop single goggles] Oh, OK. My cousin Sam is single. What about her?
Mmm... - I could hook you up.
No. Not really my type.
[Two very single weeks later...]
That's Sam? Your cousin, huh?
Hey, what's she... - She's taken.
OK... Yeah... Dammit.
Who's your type now?
[It's hard not to sound sarcastic...] Oh, my God. I'm so happy for you.
[When talking to happy people] Sorry, that came out wrong.
Uh, I really hope you two make it.
I have a friend I can set you up with.
That'd be amazing.
Why don't I just give him your number, right, babe? - Yeah, sounds good.
You're so cute. - You're perfect.
[Social media is a bummer]
(Chloe wants to meet you! Where should I tell her to go?)
Yes! You're... OK.
[You treat everything like your boyfriend] Come here, sweet boy. My one and only love of my life. Yes. Yes.
Oh, darling? Where have you been, my love?
I love you more than words. I'll never leave you.
{Your date is set! Deyo will meet you at the cafe at 2!)
Sorry, bed.
[You get way too into breakup songs]
Chl... Chloe?
[You forget how to talk to attractive humans] Yes. Me. That's me.
Oh, you're... boy.
[You can't remember how to flirt] Wow, you are... all right. All right. No. No. Um, not... you're all right in a good way, not in an average way.
You're amazing. You're beyond my expectations.
Thank you?
[Don't worry. You'll get your groove back...] Can we start over? Are... are you hungry?
Yeah, I'm starving.
Hi, Starving, I'm Deyo. [...Eventually]
Food... Yeah...