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  • Are you ready? Meatloaf or sesame chicken? I also have personal pizzas.

  • [11 signs your single is showing]

  • [You crave human contact] Chloe, so good to see you.

  • Shh. Let me have this.

  • [You become a dating app expert] You can only swipe right 25 times with this app. It has a limit.

  • I hate it every day.

  • But if you don't want a limit, you should check out Datemate. Unlimited swipes all day.

  • [You look for anyone to argue with...] In 1,000 feet, turn right onto Vine Street.

  • How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not going that way.

  • Turn right onto Vine Street.

  • God, you never listen to me.

  • OK, I'm sorry I yelled. You were right about that turn.

  • [You develop single goggles] Oh, OK. My cousin Sam is single. What about her?

  • Mmm... - I could hook you up.

  • No. Not really my type.

  • [Two very single weeks later...]

  • That's Sam? Your cousin, huh?

  • Hey, what's she... - She's taken.

  • OK... Yeah... Dammit.

  • Who's your type now?

  • [It's hard not to sound sarcastic...] Oh, my God. I'm so happy for you.

  • [When talking to happy people] Sorry, that came out wrong.

  • Uh, I really hope you two make it.

  • I have a friend I can set you up with.

  • That'd be amazing.

  • Why don't I just give him your number, right, babe? - Yeah, sounds good.

  • You're so cute. - You're perfect.

  • [Social media is a bummer]

  • (Chloe wants to meet you! Where should I tell her to go?)

  • Yes! You're... OK.

  • [You treat everything like your boyfriend] Come here, sweet boy. My one and only love of my life. Yes. Yes.

  • Oh, darling? Where have you been, my love?

  • I love you more than words. I'll never leave you.

  • {Your date is set! Deyo will meet you at the cafe at 2!)

  • Sorry, bed.

  • [You get way too into breakup songs]

  • Chl... Chloe?

  • [You forget how to talk to attractive humans] Yes. Me. That's me.

  • Oh, you're... boy.

  • [You can't remember how to flirt] Wow, you are... all right. All right. No. No. Um, not... you're all right in a good way, not in an average way.

  • You're amazing. You're beyond my expectations.

  • Thank you?

  • [Don't worry. You'll get your groove back...] Can we start over? Are... are you hungry?

  • Yeah, I'm starving.

  • Hi, Starving, I'm Deyo. [...Eventually]

  • Food... Yeah...

Are you ready? Meatloaf or sesame chicken? I also have personal pizzas.

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