Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • [birds chirping]

  • - Hey there, ma'am.

  • Can I get you anything?

  • - [laughs]

  • Pete, I'm not a customer.

  • - I don't care.

  • I'm here to serve you a hot slice

  • of Pete-za.

  • [chuckles]

  • Hope you like extra sausage.

  • [upbeat electronic music]

  • - How'd you do that?

  • - Shh.

  • Less talk-y,

  • more dance-y.

  • [upbeat electronic music]

  • - You're making me hot.

  • - Let me put out your fire.

  • [upbeat electronic music]

  • [water splashes]

  • - Wake up!

  • - Are we opening?

  • - We've been open for an hour.

  • I would've let you sleep, but you're rubbing up

  • against the seat, scaring all the customers.

  • [children yelling]

  • - I got to stop having these Pete-mares.

  • [playful music]

  • - [man singing] This is America

  • Land of dreams

  • Everyone can climb higher

  • - [women singing] No you know you're stuck here

  • 'Cause you're a part-timer yeah

  • - [man singing] You can do anything

  • - [woman singing] As long as it's not hard

  • - [man singing] And you can go anywhere

  • - [woman singing] As soon as you get a car

  • - [man singing] You're gonna be a huge success

  • - [woman singing] Come on that's not who you are

  • - [man singing] You're a part-timer cursed

  • With full-time dreams

  • And this low-paying job is as bad as it seems

  • Bad as it seems

  • What the [bleep] are you doing here?

  • Whoa

  • What the [bleep] are you doing here?

  • Oh

  • Seriously, dude? - Like, what the [bleep]?

  • - I'm going on strike.

  • - Just because I won't give you Friday off?

  • - It's my little cousin's career day,

  • the most important day of these kids' lives!

  • They get to meet me.

  • And you want to rob them of that?

  • - It feels like the responsible thing to do.

  • - Well, that's it.

  • If you don't give me Friday off, I quit.

  • - Go ahead.

  • I got your replacement right here on speed dial.

  • - [chuckles]

  • Don't you dare start with Tony Pepperoni again.

  • - He's just waiting for my call.

  • - Any minute now...

  • no.

  • - This isn't over.

  • I'm going to Anton's office.

  • - Anton doesn't have an office.

  • - Oh, doesn't he?

  • [laughing maniacally]

  • [both laughing maniacally]

  • - Wait, why are we laughing?

  • - Well, because Lori said you don't have an office,

  • and now you do.

  • - [laughs] Ian, this is so great.

  • I can't wait to start making executive decisions

  • and to find out what an executive decision is.

  • - Dude, you're gonna be great.

  • Way better that Lori. [laughs]

  • Hey, you know, I asked for Friday off,

  • and she totally shut me down.

  • - So unfair! Where does Lori get off?

  • - Well, usually in her office with an audiobook.

  • Hey-o!

  • - [laughs] Nice!

  • - Yeah. Oh.

  • Bing!

  • Why don't you just give me Friday off?

  • - Oh, no. Uh, no.

  • Lori wouldn't like that.

  • She does all the scheduling.

  • - Oh, right, right.

  • Because executive owners don't have any real authority?

  • - Hey.

  • I have real authority. - Really?

  • What have you ever authorized?

  • - You know what?

  • I authorize this:

  • you're gonna get this Friday off,

  • and every Friday after that.

  • - Oh, you play hardball.

  • - Yeah. - I respect that.

  • You know, pretty soon you're gonna be paying

  • for all my lunches or something.

  • [chuckles] - Done.

  • Here.

  • All yours.

  • - Now that's what I call a boss.

  • There's a lot of ones in here.

  • [video games beeping and dinging]

  • - If Ian can have Friday off, I should be able

  • to get a massage therapist.

  • - What are you talking about?

  • - [sighs] I'm so stressed.

  • I haven't slept in weeks.

  • Do you ever have dreams where Pete--

  • - I don't care about your dreams.

  • I specifically told Ian he cannot have Friday off.

  • - Well, Ian told me that Anton told him

  • that he could have Friday off.

  • - Guys, Ian said that Anton said we could have bathrobe Tuesdays.

  • - No, we cannot.

  • And today is Monday.

  • - Yeah, but Ian said that Anton said today could be Tuesday.

  • - I'm gonna have that boy on a skewer.

  • Ian, please come to my office right now.

  • - Lori, please come to Anton's office.

  • - Ian, please come to my office and bring Anton with you.

  • - I'm sorry, Anton is busy right now

  • and would like Ian to stay in the office with him

  • to help him with important work.

  • - Mom, hold for Dad.

  • Dad, please hold for Mom.

  • - What important work?

  • - He's holding a conference call.

  • - It's working!

  • - Ian, get in my office.

  • - No.

  • - Ian, you have ten seconds.

  • If you're not in my office,

  • I will wipe you from this planet.

  • Ten, nine, eight--

  • - Seven, six--

  • - Five--

  • - Six. - Five!

  • - Six. - Five!

  • Stop counting back up!

  • - I'm sorry, Lori.

  • I'm going to have to put you on hold.

  • [upbeat pop music]

  • - [groans]

  • [grumbling indistinctly]

  • Put me on damn hold.

  • Who the hell he think he is?

  • - [singing] Bathrobe Tuesdays

  • Bathrobe Tuesdays

  • - I totally went into the wrong office.

  • Anton would've let us get a massage therapist.

  • - Yeah, I mean, I don't think it's too late.

  • Just email Ian.

  • He said that Anton encourages us all to dream big.

  • - Guys, Anton said I could turn the prize booth

  • into a rain forest.

  • - [laughs]

  • See? [phone dings]

  • - [gasps] Ooh!

  • Anton says deep tissue for everyone!

  • [singing] both: Bathrobe Tuesdays

  • Bathrobe Tuesdays

  • - Bathrobe Tuesdays

  • - I love backrubs and massages

  • - Bathrobe Tuesdays

  • - Oh, yeah, it's my pleasure, Pete.

  • You go ahead and get that laser eye surgery

  • and we'll just fit it in Pork E. Pine's health plan.

  • - We don't have a health plan.

  • What the hell is going on?

  • - Oh, Anton, your 4:00 is here.

  • - Oh, yeah. Send them in--oh.

  • Hi, and welcome to my office.

  • - It's not your office.

  • We're in the staff room.

  • - Well, let's just say that this is where Anton's office begins

  • and you are over that line.

  • - You're not pointing to anything.

  • - It's your toe.

  • Your toe's over the line.

  • - It's not my toe, it's the shadow of my toe.

  • - Well, I think we can all agree here that, uh,

  • the shadow counts as part of your body.

  • - Shut up, short stack!

  • - Oh, look at the time!

  • I'm so sorry.

  • We have a 4:05 that's super important.

  • - Oh, yeah, my 4:05.

  • - Yeah, so could you please step out?

  • We have a lot of work to do.

  • - Oh, you think you have a lot of work to do now?

  • - Mm. - No.

  • I'm gonna show you work.

  • Tell me who--you don't know who the hell you're talking to

  • 'cause your damn office's a staff room.

  • [grumbling indistinctly]

  • - [exclaims]

  • And once we have the trees rooted,

  • we can turn the ball pit into a pond like this.

  • Look.

  • - Wait, I can't see.

  • A pond would be perfect for the anaconda

  • that Anton just approved.

  • It's being shipped in from Miami as we speak.

  • - Yes.

  • - What you got going on here?

  • - Oh, hi, Lori.

  • - Don't be mad.

  • You're gonna love what the rain forest air

  • does to your skin.

  • - Oh, I'm not mad.

  • - You're not?

  • - Actually, I would put a second rain forest

  • behind the beanbag corner and have a zip line

  • running in between the two.

  • - Genius!

  • Because to feed the anaconda,

  • you got to drop food in from above.

  • - Uh-huh. She's so smart.

  • You're so smart. - Right?

  • - Mm-hmm.

  • - There we go.

  • Now it's clear,

  • and there's no mistaking your executive suite.

  • - [sighs]

  • Do you think we should make a fan page for me too?

  • - Yes.

  • - Please get this to Anton.

  • This is all the work he's gonna need now that he's in charge.

  • - What is all this?

  • - Tax forms, invoices, bills.

  • - [scoffs] - Bills?

  • - Especially the Internet bill.

  • It's due immediately.

  • - It's a trick.

  • Everyone knows the Internet is free.

  • - There are also permits you're gonna have to get

  • for Dinger's rain forest, and the city will want to see

  • the schematics.

  • - Schematics?

  • Oh, Ian, you can just take care of all this.

  • - Uh, nope. That's above my pay grade.

  • - But I didn't want any of this.

  • I just want to be the boss.

  • You know, like the queen of England.

  • - That's the prime minister.

  • The queen is a pretty figurehead

  • who lifts the spirits around her.

  • - Oh, like me.

  • - Right. - Mm.

  • - So why don't you be queen, I'll be the prime minister

  • and run this place again.

  • - No deal.

  • Anton wants $1 million and an expense account.

  • - Dude, shut up! I get to be the queen!

  • You know what?

  • I'm gonna go buy a bunch of weird hats

  • and make myself more queen-like. [giggles]

  • - Anton, wait. No, she's just--

  • - And my first order of business as prime minister

  • is to make you work a double shift every Friday

  • until there are no more Fridays.