Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles [birds chirping] - Hey there, ma'am. Can I get you anything? - [laughs] Pete, I'm not a customer. - I don't care. I'm here to serve you a hot slice of Pete-za. [chuckles] Hope you like extra sausage. [upbeat electronic music] - How'd you do that? - Shh. Less talk-y, more dance-y. [upbeat electronic music] - You're making me hot. - Let me put out your fire. [upbeat electronic music] [water splashes] - Wake up! - Are we opening? - We've been open for an hour. I would've let you sleep, but you're rubbing up against the seat, scaring all the customers. [children yelling] - I got to stop having these Pete-mares. [playful music] - [man singing] This is America Land of dreams Everyone can climb higher - [women singing] No you know you're stuck here 'Cause you're a part-timer yeah - [man singing] You can do anything - [woman singing] As long as it's not hard - [man singing] And you can go anywhere - [woman singing] As soon as you get a car - [man singing] You're gonna be a huge success - [woman singing] Come on that's not who you are - [man singing] You're a part-timer cursed With full-time dreams And this low-paying job is as bad as it seems Bad as it seems What the [bleep] are you doing here? Whoa What the [bleep] are you doing here? Oh Seriously, dude? - Like, what the [bleep]? - I'm going on strike. - Just because I won't give you Friday off? - It's my little cousin's career day, the most important day of these kids' lives! They get to meet me. And you want to rob them of that? - It feels like the responsible thing to do. - Well, that's it. If you don't give me Friday off, I quit. - Go ahead. I got your replacement right here on speed dial. - [chuckles] Don't you dare start with Tony Pepperoni again. - He's just waiting for my call. - Any minute now... no. - This isn't over. I'm going to Anton's office. - Anton doesn't have an office. - Oh, doesn't he? [laughing maniacally] [both laughing maniacally] - Wait, why are we laughing? - Well, because Lori said you don't have an office, and now you do. - [laughs] Ian, this is so great. I can't wait to start making executive decisions and to find out what an executive decision is. - Dude, you're gonna be great. Way better that Lori. [laughs] Hey, you know, I asked for Friday off, and she totally shut me down. - So unfair! Where does Lori get off? - Well, usually in her office with an audiobook. Hey-o! - [laughs] Nice! - Yeah. Oh. Bing! Why don't you just give me Friday off? - Oh, no. Uh, no. Lori wouldn't like that. She does all the scheduling. - Oh, right, right. Because executive owners don't have any real authority? - Hey. I have real authority. - Really? What have you ever authorized? - You know what? I authorize this: you're gonna get this Friday off, and every Friday after that. - Oh, you play hardball. - Yeah. - I respect that. You know, pretty soon you're gonna be paying for all my lunches or something. [chuckles] - Done. Here. All yours. - Now that's what I call a boss. There's a lot of ones in here. [video games beeping and dinging] - If Ian can have Friday off, I should be able to get a massage therapist. - What are you talking about? - [sighs] I'm so stressed. I haven't slept in weeks. Do you ever have dreams where Pete-- - I don't care about your dreams. I specifically told Ian he cannot have Friday off. - Well, Ian told me that Anton told him that he could have Friday off. - Guys, Ian said that Anton said we could have bathrobe Tuesdays. - No, we cannot. And today is Monday. - Yeah, but Ian said that Anton said today could be Tuesday. - I'm gonna have that boy on a skewer. Ian, please come to my office right now. - Lori, please come to Anton's office. - Ian, please come to my office and bring Anton with you. - I'm sorry, Anton is busy right now and would like Ian to stay in the office with him to help him with important work. - Mom, hold for Dad. Dad, please hold for Mom. - What important work? - He's holding a conference call. - It's working! - Ian, get in my office. - No. - Ian, you have ten seconds. If you're not in my office, I will wipe you from this planet. Ten, nine, eight-- - Seven, six-- - Five-- - Six. - Five! - Six. - Five! Stop counting back up! - I'm sorry, Lori. I'm going to have to put you on hold. [upbeat pop music] - [groans] [grumbling indistinctly] Put me on damn hold. Who the hell he think he is? - [singing] Bathrobe Tuesdays Bathrobe Tuesdays - I totally went into the wrong office. Anton would've let us get a massage therapist. - Yeah, I mean, I don't think it's too late. Just email Ian. He said that Anton encourages us all to dream big. - Guys, Anton said I could turn the prize booth into a rain forest. - [laughs] See? [phone dings] - [gasps] Ooh! Anton says deep tissue for everyone! [singing] both: Bathrobe Tuesdays Bathrobe Tuesdays - Bathrobe Tuesdays - I love backrubs and massages - Bathrobe Tuesdays - Oh, yeah, it's my pleasure, Pete. You go ahead and get that laser eye surgery and we'll just fit it in Pork E. Pine's health plan. - We don't have a health plan. What the hell is going on? - Oh, Anton, your 4:00 is here. - Oh, yeah. Send them in--oh. Hi, and welcome to my office. - It's not your office. We're in the staff room. - Well, let's just say that this is where Anton's office begins and you are over that line. - You're not pointing to anything. - It's your toe. Your toe's over the line. - It's not my toe, it's the shadow of my toe. - Well, I think we can all agree here that, uh, the shadow counts as part of your body. - Shut up, short stack! - Oh, look at the time! I'm so sorry. We have a 4:05 that's super important. - Oh, yeah, my 4:05. - Yeah, so could you please step out? We have a lot of work to do. - Oh, you think you have a lot of work to do now? - Mm. - No. I'm gonna show you work. Tell me who--you don't know who the hell you're talking to 'cause your damn office's a staff room. [grumbling indistinctly] - [exclaims] And once we have the trees rooted, we can turn the ball pit into a pond like this. Look. - Wait, I can't see. A pond would be perfect for the anaconda that Anton just approved. It's being shipped in from Miami as we speak. - Yes. - What you got going on here? - Oh, hi, Lori. - Don't be mad. You're gonna love what the rain forest air does to your skin. - Oh, I'm not mad. - You're not? - Actually, I would put a second rain forest behind the beanbag corner and have a zip line running in between the two. - Genius! Because to feed the anaconda, you got to drop food in from above. - Uh-huh. She's so smart. You're so smart. - Right? - Mm-hmm. - There we go. Now it's clear, and there's no mistaking your executive suite. - [sighs] Do you think we should make a fan page for me too? - Yes. - Please get this to Anton. This is all the work he's gonna need now that he's in charge. - What is all this? - Tax forms, invoices, bills. - [scoffs] - Bills? - Especially the Internet bill. It's due immediately. - It's a trick. Everyone knows the Internet is free. - There are also permits you're gonna have to get for Dinger's rain forest, and the city will want to see the schematics. - Schematics? Oh, Ian, you can just take care of all this. - Uh, nope. That's above my pay grade. - But I didn't want any of this. I just want to be the boss. You know, like the queen of England. - That's the prime minister. The queen is a pretty figurehead who lifts the spirits around her. - Oh, like me. - Right. - Mm. - So why don't you be queen, I'll be the prime minister and run this place again. - No deal. Anton wants $1 million and an expense account. - Dude, shut up! I get to be the queen! You know what? I'm gonna go buy a bunch of weird hats and make myself more queen-like. [giggles] - Anton, wait. No, she's just-- - And my first order of business as prime minister is to make you work a double shift every Friday until there are no more Fridays.