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  • - Hey, who left the door unlocked?

  • [objects clattering]

  • [breathing hard] I have--I have--

  • I have mace!

  • I mean, I have a mace,

  • the Medieval skull-crushing kind.

  • [lightly suspenseful music]

  • Oh, my God!

  • We have a hobo?

  • [rustling] Aah!

  • - Hobo? I prefer vagrant.

  • [upbeat music]

  • [singing] - This is America

  • Land of dreams

  • Everyone can climb higher

  • - Not you, though

  • - You're stuck here

  • - 'Cause you're a part-timer

  • - Yeah!

  • - You can do anything

  • - As long it's not hard

  • - And you can go anywhere

  • - As soon as you get a car

  • - You're gonna be a huge success

  • - Come on, that's not who you are

  • - You're a part-timer cursed with full-time dreams

  • And this low-paying job

  • Is as bad as it seems

  • Bad as it seems

  • What the [bleep] are you doing here?

  • Whoa

  • What the [bleep] are you doing here?

  • Oh oh

  • - Seriously, dude. - Like, what the [bleep]?

  • - So you saw a hobo and then ran away?

  • - Dude, that's hobophobic.

  • - Look, you guys are my family,

  • and your safety is my top priority.

  • That's why I've installed a Pork E. cam

  • for your protection.

  • The feed goes right to my computer.

  • I can see the whole floor from my home office.

  • - So...

  • you won't be coming in anymore?

  • - No need.

  • I'm officially on full-time hobo watch.

  • - So what are you gonna do if you catch her--him?

  • - Don't worry, Ella.

  • I'm gonna have him arrested and prosecuted.

  • You should have seen this guy's nest of filth.

  • It was disgusting. He's a real menace.

  • - Hey.

  • You still have a bathtub at home right?

  • - Right. - Cool. Cool.

  • Can I live in it?

  • - Don't you have a place with that girl from Craigslist?

  • - I did, I did, but it turns out

  • on Craigslist, roommate means drug mule.

  • So...

  • - Well, I guess you could stay at my place

  • for, like... a few nights.

  • - Yes! That would be so amazing.

  • That would be so, so, so, so [sings] amazing!

  • And don't worry.

  • I have lots of guys over all the time.

  • We're gonna get you so laid.

  • Yes!

  • [overlapping chatter, game sounds]

  • Ah! Ha ha!

  • Hi!

  • I'm so excited! - Okay. Yeah.

  • [funky music]

  • - Office romance.

  • Progressive!

  • - Guys, guys, you realize we're being watched right now?

  • First it's the cameras.

  • Next it's gonna be choke collars

  • and electrodes attached to our private areas.

  • If you were smart, you'd join the rebellion,

  • because we...

  • are Anonymous!

  • - This is a really good show.

  • - There's just something very sexy

  • about Monster Truck rallies, you know, you got the--

  • - Aah! - Ah! Aah!

  • - I can't wait to get snuggle-bugs

  • with you tonight, roomie! Muah!

  • - You know... Ella's kind of like bedbugs.

  • Once you let her into your apartment,

  • she never really leaves.

  • - It's just for a few nights. - Oh...[chuckles]

  • I'm sure that's what she told you.

  • I let her into my place last year,

  • and I still have people coming over to use my shower.

  • I think she might have put my address on a bus stop.

  • - She's my nightmare!

  • [line ringing]

  • [phone buzzing]

  • [chime]

  • Hey, it's Ian. Leave a message.

  • - Hey, bud. So...I was searching for hobos

  • when something more interesting came up.

  • Can you see what's going on with Mads and Ella?

  • I think they're hooking up.

  • Oh, and-- - End of message.

  • If you would like to re-record, press 1.

  • - He sent me to voicemail. Rude!

  • - So I do this thing called Pink Taco Tuesdays.

  • We can wax each other and eat tacos.

  • I used to just do it by myself,

  • but now that we're gonna be roomies--

  • [gasps] Oh, my God--twins!

  • Oh, we have to find twins! Yes!

  • I've always wanted to do that!

  • Who knows, maybe wind up on the same bed,

  • fishing for salmon on the Yemen--you know what I mean?

  • - No, Ella. Nobody knows what that means.

  • - I have a loose theory.

  • - Pete! - Sorry.

  • - Don't worry, Mads, I will teach you everything.

  • So there's the salmon and the y--

  • - Examine your...hymen?

  • Ah! Need a male on the inside.

  • Hey, Ian, haven't heard from you in a while,

  • so if you wanna give me a ring back

  • and let me know what's going on with the gals,

  • I won't have to call you a million times.

  • Thank you! [beep]

  • - Oh...

  • - Please, please stop saying Yemen.

  • - All right, that's fine. I'm sorry.

  • No Yemen. No problem.

  • You know, we'll just keep it simple.

  • We'll find a nice guy for you

  • who just wants to take a tugboat to Tuna Island!

  • - Ella, I don't want twins.

  • I don't want to go to Tuna Island--wherever that is.

  • And I definitely don't want to live with you.

  • - Why, because I'm not sexually repressed?

  • - No. Because you're hygienically repressed.

  • - Oh! Oh, you're walking away?

  • Ha! No! Come back here!

  • I'm the one that gets to walk away.

  • Me, little girl.

  • [phone rings]

  • What?

  • - Hey, uh, quick Q.

  • How's your...hymen?

  • - Stop watching us!

  • - [groans] Ah!

  • Ha-man.

  • Ya-men.

  • Yah, mahn.

  • - Anton can't control us.

  • We do what we want when we want it!

  • all: Yeah! - If I wanna take

  • a refreshing skinny dip in the ball pit, I will!

  • - Yeah...

  • - Okay! - No.

  • - And Pete, how about your extra-long showers

  • in the staff bathroom?

  • Hmm? - Dude.

  • We're in the middle of a drought.

  • Do it in your car like everyone else.

  • - Ella, Mads, you know, you guys are best friends,

  • and he's tearing you apart!

  • - Well...work friends.

  • - Well, either way,

  • I got a plan to take this place back.

  • Now...who's with me?

  • Who's with me?

  • - Okay! - Yeah.

  • - Let's do it! Let's go!

  • Come on! - Raaah!

  • [phone rings]

  • - Hey, man. - Hey, man!

  • You got my messages!

  • Any juicy new developments

  • on any employee relationships I should know about?

  • - No. But I got something you might wanna see.

  • - Is it my Mr. Smoothie punch card?

  • I was only three away from a free protein boost, man.

  • - No, dude. Two words.

  • Ha-oh...bah-oh!

  • - What?

  • - Hey-u...ga-blaw!

  • - Dude, I can't understand you. What are you saying?

  • - Hobo! We caught a hobo. Get over here right now.

  • - Dude, I'll be right there!

  • - He's about to be Anonymized.

  • - Oh, my God. This hobo's a mastermind.

  • Is he still here?

  • - We're not hostages, Anton.

  • We're protestors. - We're not leaving

  • until you take down the Pork E. cam.

  • And we're prepared to stay for weeks!

  • - I'm prepared to stay for five minutes,

  • but then I'm going home.

  • - That's why I threw the handcuff keys

  • into the ball pit-- nobody leaves!

  • - Dinger, why? - Damn it, Dinger!

  • - I'm not the bad guy. He is.

  • - Guys, as long as we have a hobo here,

  • the Pork E. cam stays.

  • - But there is no hobo.

  • It's just me.

  • I've been crashing here at night.

  • - Ella, I wish you'd told me. Now I feel really bad.

  • - Does that mean I can move into your bathtub?

  • - Uh...no.

  • I love you, but you're just a little too, uh...

  • fun.

  • - That's okay. You're too boring.

  • And I love you too. - Aw!

  • - Ow!

  • Ah, ah, ah! - Ow! Ow!

  • - Girls...

  • I just wanna let you know

  • I am in full support of your relationship.

  • Especially if you tell me everything about it.

  • I mean, is "Hymen Ramen" a thing,

  • or are you just really into lemon salmon?

  • - I will tell you everything

  • under three conditions--

  • You take down the security camera,

  • and you find all the handcuff keys.

  • - And...what's the third thing?

  • [upbeat music]

  • - Wakey, wakey.

  • - Oh, hey.

  • - Thanks for letting me crash on your couch.

  • - Oh, yeah. Of course.

  • That is not coffee. - No, it's soda.

  • I put it in the microwave.

  • - Oh. Okay.

- Hey, who left the door unlocked?

Subtitles and vocabulary

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B1 US hobo ella dude hymen yemen salmon

HOBOPHOBIC (Part Timers #4)

  • 279 18
    Steven posted on 2016/04/27
Video vocabulary