You're right, the cancer's only in my

liver, lungs, prostate and brain

All things I can live without

What if I told you, we can make you better?

You're a fighter, we can give you abilities...

...most men only dream of

Make you a superhero

You just promise, you'll do right by me

So, I can do right by someone else

And please don't make the super suit green...

...or animated!

One thing that never survives this process...

...is the sense of humor

Yeah we'll see about that, posh spice

Aww, come on, you're gonna leave me here with less angry Rosie O'Donald?

♪ Hey, yeah. I wanna shoop, baby ♪

♪ you're stacked 'specially in the back ♪

♪ Brother, wanna thank your ♪ ♪ mother for a butt like that ♪

♪ You're a shotgun - bang! ♪ ♪ What's up with that thang? ♪

♪ I wanna know how does it hang? ♪

♪ Straight up, wait up, hold up, Mr. Lover ♪

♪ Like Prince said you're a sexy mutha- ♪

Wait!

You may be wandering why the red suit?

Well that's so bad guys can't see me bleed

This guy's got the right idea

He's wore the brown pants

Queue the music

♪ X gon give it to ya ♪

♪ Wait for you to get it on your own ♪

What the--

♪ X gon deliver to ya ♪

♪ Break bread wit the enemy ♪

♪ But no matter how many cats I break bread wit ♪

♪ I'll break who you sendin' me ♪

It reek like old lady pants in here

BLIND AL: Why such a douche this morning?

God, you are hard to look at

You look like a topographical map of Utah

Exactly

♪ I'm gettin down, down ♪

♪ Make it say freeze ♪

♪ But won't be the one endin' up on his knees ♪

♪ Please, If the only thing you cats did is come out to play ♪

♪ Stay out my way-- ♪

I am very turned on right now

♪ X gonna give it to ya ♪

♪ He gonna give it to ya ♪

You are haunting!

You look like an avocado had sex with an older avocado

Thank you

Greetings, Munchkins

Did you like that does of green band goodness?

Hankering for a little more action?

Some big boy curse words, maybe?

Check out deadpoolwebsite.com for my red band trailer

Make sure to ask your mommy and tell her to call me

She's got the number