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  • [Audio Length: 0:34:07] RECORDING COMMENCES:

  • Evan Carmichael: He's an

  • American motivational speaker, personal finance instructor and self-help author. He became

  • well known from his infomercials and self-help books. In 2013, Forbes estimated his net worth

  • at 480 million dollars. He's Tony Robbins, and here are his Top Ten Rules For Success.

  • Tony Robbins: Ultimately, if you're going to have lasting

  • change in anything, you're really talking about just raising your standards. I mean,

  • I always tell people; if you want to know how to change your life, I'll give it to you

  • in three words, boring as it sounds, "raise your standards." Now, what does that mean,

  • corny as it sounds, "raise your standards"? "Well, thank you for the breakthrough thought,

  • Tony. I'm glad I wasted my time watching this little email with you."

  • Think about it. Lasting change is different than a goal. You don't always get your goals,

  • but you always get your standards. Maybe what'll help you is to think about it this way. I

  • try to explain standards to people with a different set of words. Think of it as everybody

  • in life gets their "musts." They don't get their "shoulds."

  • Think about it. Most people have a list of "shoulds"; don't they? Don't you have a list

  • of "shoulds," things you should do, you should follow through on? "I should lose some weight."

  • "I should work out more." "I should make more calls." "I should respond more rapidly to

  • my email," whatever. "I should get into the office earlier." "I should be more confident."

  • Whatever your "should" list, people love to have their "should" list be met, but it's

  • like New Year's resolutions. If it does, it's really exciting. If it doesn't, which is most

  • of the time, it's a little disappointing, but you kind of know it's not going to happen.

  • When you decide something is a "must" for you, an absolute "must," when you cut off

  • any possible... you say, "I'm going to find a way, or I'm going to make the way." Human

  • beings, when they resolve things, when they make a real resolution inside themselves,

  • which is they raise the standard and they make it a "must," they find the way.

  • Think about it in your own life. Haven't you had some area of your life where you raised

  • your standard, and your life has never been the same? Maybe, at one time in your life,

  • you smoked cigarettes. Or you did something, and you did it for years. You kept trying

  • to change it, trying to change it and kept telling yourself, "I should." Then, one day,

  • something happened. Something just clicked you over. Something took you over that tipping

  • point, and inside yourself, you said, "No more." That was a very, very different experience;

  • wasn't it? Something inside of you shifted. What was

  • a "should" became a "must," and you've never gone back. Is there an area like that in your

  • life that you can think of? Again, did you ever smoke cigarettes? Did you ever eat a

  • certain way, drink a certain form of alcohol and then finally say, "No more," and you just

  • don't go back? Notice this; it doesn't really take any willpower, anymore, because somewhere,

  • when we make this click, when we make something a "must," we attach ourselves to it. It becomes

  • part of our identity. One thing I've learned, in the last, gosh,

  • 33 years of work on people from, now, over 100 countries, four million people, is human

  • beings absolutely follow through on who they believe they are. If you said to me, "Well,

  • I'm really going to work hard to stop smoking, but I've been a smoker my whole life. I am

  • a smoker," I know your days are numbered. You're going to be back smoking cigarettes,

  • again, because we all act consistent with who we believe we are.

  • I tell people the strongest force in the whole human personality is this need to stay consistent

  • with how we define ourselves. If you define yourself as somebody who is really conservative,

  • you're not going to be crazy and act nuts, unless you're really drunk or something. Then

  • you can say it's the alcohol, when it's really just you finally getting permission to be

  • yourself. The alcohol is your excuse. If you're a really crazy person, you act crazy, outrageous,

  • playful. You don't act conservative because it's not who you are.

  • Very often people say, "Well, I can't do that. I'm not that kind of person." I always say

  • to people, "Really? When did you define yourself? I mean, really, how many years ago did you

  • come up with what you could and couldn't do in your life? How many years ago?" Most people,

  • if they really look at how they're living their life today, it's based on a set of standards,

  • a set of beliefs that they made choices about 10, 20, 30 or more years ago. Very often,

  • we made decisions in our youth, or very young, about what to believe, about what we were

  • capable of, about who we are as a person, and that becomes the glass ceiling, if you

  • will, that controls us. There is a corny metaphor, but it's true.

  • I remember, one time, I was with my family at the circus. There was a person there, and

  • they had this big, giant elephant. You look at this elephant. They take this little rope,

  • put it around the elephant's neck, and they drive this stake into the ground. I mean,

  • you look at this, and you know that elephant could rip down the entire tent with almost

  • no effort. Yet, the elephant doesn't struggle, doesn't try. Why? Because the elephant's conditioned.

  • They could take that elephant and condition the elephant when it's a baby elephant. That's

  • how they train them. When it's a little baby elephant and it doesn't have the power, yet,

  • they put a big rope around it, and they drive this huge stake in the ground. The elephant

  • fights and fights and fights. One day, finally, that elephant decides, "I'm not capable of

  • pulling this out." Once that becomes the definition of an identity of anyone - an elephant, in

  • this case - they don't even try, anymore. "It's just who I am. That's how it is. That's

  • just the way it is in my life." I'd like to ask you to take a look at any

  • place you've got a limitation and ask yourself, "When did I decide to accept that limitation?"

  • You may not even see it as a limitation. You might see it as, just, "That's who I am."

  • So often, in our lives, we've adapted to be a certain way, so that we don't fail or so

  • that people will like us or respect us. It's not necessarily who we are.

  • Joy comes when you're spontaneous. It's really hard to be truly happy when you're not being

  • yourself, and most of us have no clue who we are. A big part of my work - if you've

  • ever been to event, you know - is to get people to do things spontaneously, without thinking,

  • because that's when the real you shows up. That's when the energy comes alive. When you

  • do that, when you start to connect your true nature, suddenly, there's energy available

  • for you to set a higher standard for what you want in your life. That's what this is

  • really all about. When I talk about "standards" or I talk about

  • "shoulds" versus "musts," think about your own life. I know there have been areas in

  • your life where, at some point in time, you just shifted. You raised the standard, and

  • your life changed because whatever people have their identity attached to, they live.

  • We live who we believe we are. That's just how it works.

  • I'll give you an example. Look at your physical body. Your physical body, today, is an absolute

  • reflection of only one thing. Not your goals, not your desires, but your standards, the

  • identity you have for yourself. If your standard is you're an athlete, then there's a certain

  • amount of strength, a muscle tone, an energy that's available in your body, on a regular

  • basis, because that's who you are. You do whatever is necessary to maintain that identity.

  • Again, the strongest force in the human personality is this need to stay consistent with how we

  • define ourselves because if you don't know who you are, you wouldn't know how to act.

  • Once you lock in on that identity, your brain finds a way to keep you there. If you say,

  • "Man, I'm overweight. I've always been overweight. I'm big-boned" and that's the story you've

  • got, then you're going to always find a way to get back there. That's your settling point.

  • That's your identity. That's where things lock in.

  • If you see somebody who's in really great shape, you ask them, "Do you work out?" You

  • know the answer, "Yes." "How often?" They'll tell you, "Three times," "Four times," "Five

  • times a week," whatever. In a seminar, I'll ask people, "Who, here, works out at least

  • five days a week? Stand up." You look around that room, and you know that they work out

  • five times a week because you can see their body. You don't just get a result without

  • some kind of action, without some form of ritual; "ritual," meaning actions you do consistently.

  • Now, do you believe those people that are out there, working out five days a week, do

  • they have more time than you do or I have or anybody else? Of course not. Is their life

  • less busy? Of course not. It's just a "must" for them. They must work out that way. They've

  • made that turn, and their life changed. I'm not saying you have to work out five days

  • a week. I'm just saying, whatever you really want, "wants" don't get met consistently;

  • "standards" do. Whatever you identify, "This is who I am."

  • It's not so much about changing your identity, as it is expanding it; deciding that, instead

  • of your goal is to lose 10 pounds, which is not compelling, what if your vision was to

  • "get back to my fighting weight"? "This year," "This month," "This next 90 days, I'm going

  • to transform my body. I'm going to take on a new challenge. I'm going to find some technique

  • or strategy. There's a million of them - that can reframe myself." Or, "I want to feel younger,

  • stronger, more vibrant than ever before. Here are my reasons. I want the energy to really

  • make my life work because it's tough out there, and I want to be stronger than I've ever been

  • before. I want to go in front of the mirror, and if I'm naked, not want to laugh. I want

  • to look there and take a good look, and go, 'Yeah. I'm proud of whatever I see there.'"

  • Whatever it takes. Something is going to make you laugh, smile. Something is going to tease

  • yourself, but something is going to move you to another level. If you identify yourself

  • in a new way, you own that every day and that becomes the standard of how you live, you'll

  • find a way to make that standard real. Money is the same way. Think about it. It

  • doesn't matter what's happening "in the marketplace." People that make money find a way to make

  • money, no matter what; don't they? I mean, most people's standard is to pay their bills,

  • so that's what most people find a way to do. Even when economic times get tough, most people,

  • if that's their absolute standard, they find a way.

  • Some people's standard is to pay their bills most of the time, and so, most of the time,

  • they do. Some people's standard is not just to pay their bills, but to take care of their

  • family and maybe even some of their friends. They find a way. In fact, some people may

  • be in a family where, if they don't have enough money... They barely have money to pay their

  • bills. They worked their guts out, and then somebody - their mother, their father or somebody

  • else, their sister - gets ill. There's not enough money to take care of it. Nobody else

  • has money in the family. They don't, either, but they find a way to get that money and

  • take care of their mother or father, don't they, and pay their bills. They never could

  • do it before. Why? The situation made them raise their own standard. Not everybody does

  • that. Somebody else in the family might have money and still not take care of their mother.

  • It all comes down to the inner game, my friends. Changing your life is a change in the inner

  • game. The outside world, you can't control, but you have absolute control over this one,

  • if you learn the dynamics of what shapes you. Identity is one of those simple, clear, fundamental

  • basics that if you start to shift it, everything else will shift in your life, as well.

  • Somebody will, by the way, have to have more than enough money to do what they want, when

  • they want, where they want, with whomever they want, contribute the way they want. If

  • that's their "must," they find a way. I know that sounds overly simplistic, but it's true.

  • Somebody once said you could take all the money in the world out of the hands of everybody,

  • out of all the wealthy people in the world who are really successful, give it to other

  • people. It wouldn't take too long; those people would have it back in their hands. It's not

  • because they're manipulative. It's because they have standard. Some are manipulative.

  • Don't get me wrong, but they have a standard of what they're going to find a way to make

  • happen. I'm just simply saying to you, take those three magic words and live them. Raise

  • your standard. Michael Gerber, the guy that wrote The E-Myth,

  • talks about why so many businesses, young businesses fail. One of the things he says

  • is most people are not really entrepreneurs, but they think that's what they should be.

  • They think that's the sexy thing, that's the most attractive thing, that's the best answer.

  • What I say to you is you've got to separate the vehicle from the outcome. What is it that's

  • going to truly fulfill you? What is it that's going to give you that extraordinary life?