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  • Not sure what kind of man you are?

  • Relax, bro, just kick back and watch this list to find out.

  • Alphas are bold, traditionally masculine figures

  • endowed with raw sexual confidence.

  • Unlike Alphas, Betas are kind and docile introverts

  • that prefer deeper, more intimate relationships.

  • Gammas are similar to Betas

  • except every cell in their body has been irradiated

  • by a near-constant bombardment

  • of high-energy photons.

  • Also they like never get laid.

  • - Oh.

  • Deltas are open-minded individuals

  • who believe in change.

  • They're comprised mostly from sediment deposits

  • carried in from nearby rivers.

  • There's actually nothing special about Epsilons.

  • They're just real shitheads.

  • Zetas are all die hard Catherine Zeta Jones fans.

  • Etas, or E-T-As are the classic gentlemen.

  • They're very punctual, but can't pronounce their H's.

  • - Sweet 'eavens, look at the time.

  • Thetas are identical to Etas,

  • but have a slight lisp.

  • - How dare you, sir.

  • Iotas are very small and insignificant,

  • and can be found arguing in the comments section

  • of popular websites.

  • What?

  • Kappas are mischievous beak-mouthed

  • river spirits from Japanese folklore.

  • They like to play tricks on children,

  • and are very good listeners.

  • Lambdas are the only males that can

  • successfully rock a goatee.

  • Oh, this isn't a type, this is just what I call boy cows.

  • (moo)

  • And this is what I call boy babies.

  • (baby laughs)

  • Xi males are of course men who exist solely

  • as a special spherical function on a semisimple Lie group

  • within the field of mathematical harmonic analysis.

  • - Hey, 'sup babe.

  • My name's Chet.

  • Can I buy you a drink or something?

  • Omicrons are even bigger

  • shitheads than Epsilons.

  • They rarely wear sleeves.

  • Pi males are well rounded,

  • but completely irrational.

  • - I'm pretty sure the Purge movies really happened.

  • - Woah, really?

  • Is that true?

  • Rho males are so stupid,

  • they actually serve as a physical representation

  • of the concept of density.

  • Sigmas are the summation of all things male and masculine.

  • And honestly, they're pretty big shitheads too.

  • Tau males are shittier than Epsilons,

  • but not quite as shitty as an Omicron.

  • Upsilons like to scream at TVs

  • playing sports in public bars.

  • They are the worst.

  • Phi male is just the way that Australians

  • say the word female.

  • Oh, that fair dinkum, mate.

  • Chi Psis are men with strong bonds

  • of fraternal brotherhood.

  • Also, they're way less racist than the KA's two houses down.

  • Whew, less racist!

  • And finally, Omega male

  • is just a genderless honorific given to anyone

  • who made it all the way through this stupid video.

  • Oh thank God it's over.

  • Congratulations.

  • (rock music)

  • Hey, I'm Caldwell from College Humor.

  • Thanks for watching.

  • Click here to subscribe,

  • here to see more videos from our

  • drawing comedy channel Drawfee.

  • And if you'd like to join the debate

  • on whether or not I suck,

  • leave a comment below.

  • Just please click something, anything,

  • so that I don't have to keep animating this.

Not sure what kind of man you are?

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