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  • The first big idea I want to talk about is the importance of remembering that a man’s

  • name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

  • I used to meet people and I was so concerned about all the social pressures and expectations,

  • that I would miss the most important part. And that part is when the person tells you

  • his name. I would hear it, but in about 30 seconds I would realize I had no idea what

  • that person’s name was. Not only did that make my interactions awkward, but it also

  • made me unable to connect with people on a deeper level.

  • And unless you have some kind of flawless memory, you probably identify with this. So

  • what I started doing was not only focusing using on the name more, but using a helpful technique.

  • When the person says, “Hey, my name is Bill.” Instead of saying, “Nice to meet you,”

  • try saying, “Nice to meet you, Bill.” You have just repeated his name back to him

  • and that helps tremendously with actually remembering the person’s name. You will

  • also start to notice that people feel more connected to you and respond better when you

  • use their name, and it is because a man’s name is to him the sweetest and most important

  • sound in any language.

  • Now, the following story combines two big ideas:

  • Big idea 2: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

  • and Big idea 3: Make the other person feel importantand

  • do it sincerely.

  • A few years ago, I went out with my friends, and by the end of the night they were all

  • drunk and I was driving them back. They are all yelling and screaming the whole way, and

  • suddenly they all decide they are hungry and want Taco Bell. So I take the exit on the

  • highway, and I have no idea where I am, it’s 3AM in the morning, and I see I’m going

  • the wrong way and need to turn around. All of a sudden I have to make a split-second

  • decision, I’m about to turn around but then I see the no turnaround sign. I still turn

  • around. I drive to Taco Bell and as I approach to order, I see police lights in the rear

  • mirror.

  • The policeman comes up and says, “Hey, how are you doing tonight?” And I said, “I’m

  • doing well, sir, how are you?” He says, “I’m doing well, too,” and asks me if

  • I know why he pulled me over. Now, in the next second, my social conditioning kicks

  • in. I want to say no. I want to say I didn’t know where I was. I want to say it’s really

  • late, there are no cars around anyway. I want to say I didn’t see the sign. I want to

  • say I’m being responsible, and my friends are creating all this chaos in the car, and

  • I couldn’t think straight. Once that second is up however, Carnegie’s principles kick

  • in and I say, “Yes, sir. I turned even though I saw the no turnaround sign. I panicked and

  • made a poor decision.” As I said this, his face changed completely. It looked so confused

  • like he had never heard anything like this before. After some silence, I said, “I know

  • I made a mistake and I’m willing to face the consequences for it. Thank you for doing

  • your job.” And he kept looking back in confusion and amazement, then smiled like he had never

  • been that happy in his entire life and said this while he handed me my driver’s license,

  • Thank you for being responsible and taking care of these guys and I hope you have a good

  • night.”

  • Now some people might hear this and say, “Okay, you admitted you were wrong. Good. You made

  • him feel important. Good. But you weren’t being genuine.”

  • And look, could I have pulled this off without being genuine? Possibly. But I do really appreciate

  • that policeman doing his job. I really do. I appreciate him just like I would appreciate

  • him if he pulled over a huge SUV with a bunch of drunk guys in it, before they crashed into

  • my girlfriend’s car and killed her while she’s driving on her way home.

  • So the three big ideas are:

  • Big idea 1: Remember that a man’s name is to him the sweetest and most important sound

  • in any language.

  • Big idea 2: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

  • Big idea 3: Make the other person feel importantand do it sincerely.

The first big idea I want to talk about is the importance of remembering that a man’s

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