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  • When my brother harold

  • Asked me to be the best man

  • At his wedding, I was like, "whoa,

  • "of course, man,

  • 'cause you've always been there for me."

  • Aww. That's right.

  • Like when I was in rehab

  • And like the time I couldn't find my car.

  • 'cause harold, you know,

  • He's always been the dependable one.

  • I've always...

  • Been the screwed-up one. Right, dad?

  • Ha ha.

  • "why can't you be more like your brother?

  • Harold would never beat up his landlord."

  • He's drunk as shit.

  • Whoops.

  • [coughing]

  • But, uh...

  • A little news flash, pop. Ha.

  • Harold ain't so perfect.

  • Remember that time in puerto rico

  • When we picked up those 2, uh...

  • Well, I guess they were prostitutes,

  • But I don't remember paying.

  • Ok, how 'bout that?

  • How 'bout that? Yeah. How 'bout it?

  • Terrific.

  • I'm a person, too, pop, goddamn it!

  • I'm a person, too!

  • You're a moron!

  • Ooh.

  • Ok.

  • The best man, everybody.

  • Best man. The better man.

  • ♪ ♪ ooh!

  • Uh...Hey,

  • We've all done crazy things in our life, so...

  • ♪ ♪ ♪

  • He's playing the guitar now.

  • Isn't that great?

  • Ha ha ha. You're doing good.

  • Yeah? Sounds good?

  • It's because I'm the best guitar player in the world.

  • Yeah. Self-taught.

  • No lessons, thank you very much, pop.

  • All right.

  • David: They'll be divorced in a year.

  • Very good.

When my brother harold

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