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  • - It's good to see you again.

  • And this is so exciting, isn't it?

  • I mean, who woulda thunk it, that this would be happening?

  • - I knew. - No, you didn't.

  • - No, but people do ask me,

  • and I think that's the craziest question:

  • "Did you know it was gonna be that big of a hit?"

  • So now I say yes.

  • - Uh-huh. - In fact,

  • I thought it would be bigger. - Uh-huh.

  • And I'm let down. - Yeah.

  • - So, I know this one's gonna do well, too,

  • 'cause I'm psychic. - Yeah.

  • Look at that right there.

  • [cheers and applause]

  • - That's before and after. That's not my fault.

  • - It's really-- what's not your fault?

  • - What I look like now is not my fault.

  • [laughter]

  • Now, this is not my fault.

  • Medication did it.

  • Years of living longer makes you look worse.

  • Who knew about that?

  • It's really upsetting. - [laughs]

  • - So, but, see, I looked good then,

  • but didn't know it then either.

  • - Yeah. We never do.

  • We never appreciate where we are in that moment in time.

  • - That's what I try to think of.

  • I think, when I am 70...

  • - Mm-hmm. - I'm gonna wish

  • that I looked what I looked like when I was with you.

  • - Yes, yes. - Just this, though.

  • Okay. - Just this.

  • - Just this, what I-- just right here.

  • - Just this moment? --Yeah. - Yeah.

  • And I'm getting these clothes and--okay, go ahead.

  • - Okay.

  • I love you so much.

  • So, we went out and we tried to sell tickets.

  • We actually ended up being very charitable.

  • We were raising money for charity,

  • and we didn't really have a charity in mind,

  • but we went on Barham Boulevard--

  • - I made up one.

  • - Yeah, you made up ridiculous ones.

  • But anyway, we had signs,

  • and we wanted to see how many people we could get to pull over

  • to give tickets to the opening night of "Star Wars."

  • And this was just this afternoon.

  • - "Star Wars" for charity!

  • - Carrie Fisher!

  • - Carrie Fisher in stupid hair, again!

  • Look. Come on.

  • See, it's not as popular as you think.

  • - This movie is very popular.

  • [car honking horn] - Oh.

  • - Oh, pull over. - Okay.

  • - Yeah, okay, hi. - Okay, hi.

  • - Are you interested in seeing "Star Wars"?

  • Yeah, I would like to see it.

  • - Have you bought tickets yet?

  • I haven't, I was just waiting.

  • - Good, that's good.

  • - So now, normally they're $500 for a pair.

  • - Right, right, right. - Because you can't get them any more.

  • They're like, you know--

  • - They're--they're gold. They're like gold.

  • - People are-- they are like gold,

  • but more. - More than gold.

  • They're like Trump's money. - So, how much money

  • do you have?

  • - I have, like, $150.

  • - Yeah. - But, like, on my debit card.

  • - Oh, well, that's all right.

  • What do you have in your trunk? We'll trade you.

  • - Do you have-- - I have some clothes.

  • - This is where it pays to be a hoarder.

  • - Do you have a blouse? - I have a--yeah.

  • I got a...sweatshirt. - What is that?

  • All right. Here's two tickets.

  • - [gasps] - It's for opening night.

  • - Is it? - Yeah, opening night, 7:45.

  • - Is this real? - It's real.

  • - It's real. - We didn't make you pull over for nothing.

  • - If she says it's real...

  • - Okay, bye. - Bye, see you later.

  • both: Tickets to "Star Wars"!

  • - Tickets to "Star Wars." - Oh, yeah, oh, good, good.

  • Now it's happening. Now we're doing it.

  • How are you doing? - We love you!

  • - Oh. It's Princess Leia.

  • - Oh, hi. - Do you love me also?

  • Uh, I don't know you yet.

  • - I'm Princess Leia. - Oh, now I know.

  • - Yeah. - So we're selling tickets

  • for charity to "Star Wars." - Okay.

  • - So, you look like you have money, it's a nice car.

  • Can you take my card?

  • - No. - No, you're gonna think

  • long and hard about it. You've got cash.

  • All right, let's try them. - Yeah, come on.

  • This is bull [bleep].

  • - Are you a "Star Wars" fan? - Yes.

  • - Which character do you like?

  • I like Skywalker.

  • - Skywalker? - Skywalker.

  • That's my brother!

  • Do you have, like, $10?

  • - No, just let him have it.

  • - I want $10. - All right.

  • You're a nurse, right? - Yeah, I am.

  • - I like nurses. You're good people.

  • - Love nurses. - Thank you.

  • - All right, we're gonna give you two tickets to opening night, "Star Wars."

  • Get out!

  • - Get out of here.

  • Will you wear your nurse's outfit to the opening? - Okay

  • - Nurse. - Are you a "Star Wars" fan?

  • - As soon as you heard- - I am.

  • I was driving across the street.

  • - Will you trade this for a-- - I would.

  • - Ask him to make a-- do you have a talent?

  • - He doesn't have any money.

  • - I can do a handstand.

  • And a song while you're up.

  • - A song while I do it? - Yeah.

  • - [humming "Star Wars" theme]

  • - That is good.

  • - You have two tickets to go see "Star Wars" opening night.

  • How cool is that? - That is fantastic.

  • - That is cool. And dress up.

  • - I will. - Not the--good.

  • - The Force be with you. - Oh, and you.

  • - You want tickets to "Star Wars"?

  • - Okay. - All right.

  • Should we get in the middle?

  • - No. - That'll cause an accident.

  • - Opening night, "Star Wars." - Opening night.

  • - A hundred bucks? - $100 is great.

  • - Sure, yeah. - Okay.

  • - It's for a charity. - It's going to charity.

  • - Absolutely. - All right.

  • - 100 bucks for you. - Wonderful, thank you so much.

  • 100 bucks for me. - Oh, thank you.

  • - It's mine. All right.

  • I need three, I will give you a hundred.

  • - Wow! This is taking off.

  • I'm gonna take that. - Isn't that amazing?

  • - That's awesome. - What is your charity?

  • - My charity is for mental illness for animals.

  • - Oh, that's so great. - Thank you.

  • - What do you have? What do you want to trade?

  • - Do you have, like, $10?

  • - You have cigarettes, you have water,

  • and you have a lot of auditions down there.

  • - I know. - All right.

  • I'm gonna give you two tickets to opening night, "Star Wars."

  • Where are you going? - I'm gonna take the picture.

  • - Oh, you will? Thank you.

  • - Here, go.

  • No, I'm gonna take it with Ellen.

  • Oh, okay. - Oh, she just went to Maps.

  • - Here. - I can't do it.

  • Okay. - Now she's on Maps.

  • She's trying to take a picture...

  • - Okay, go. - And she--

  • - Ellen! Here we go, I did it.

  • There...there...and look.

  • - Oh, a selfie. - I can't do this.

  • Okay, no, I didn't get it. Okay, there.

  • Look, I did it. - All right.

  • [cheers and applause]

  • You did it. - Good.

  • I did it. I'm so proud.

  • - All right, so proud.

  • [applause]

  • "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" opens in theaters everywhere

  • this Friday. It is gonna be magnificent.

  • Thank you so much, Carrie Fisher!

- It's good to see you again.

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