Subtitles section Play video
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- It's good to see you again.
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And this is so exciting, isn't it?
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I mean, who woulda thunk it, that this would be happening?
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- I knew. - No, you didn't.
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- No, but people do ask me,
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and I think that's the craziest question:
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"Did you know it was gonna be that big of a hit?"
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So now I say yes.
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- Uh-huh. - In fact,
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I thought it would be bigger. - Uh-huh.
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And I'm let down. - Yeah.
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- So, I know this one's gonna do well, too,
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'cause I'm psychic. - Yeah.
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Look at that right there.
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[cheers and applause]
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- That's before and after. That's not my fault.
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- It's really-- what's not your fault?
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- What I look like now is not my fault.
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[laughter]
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Now, this is not my fault.
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Medication did it.
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Years of living longer makes you look worse.
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Who knew about that?
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It's really upsetting. - [laughs]
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- So, but, see, I looked good then,
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but didn't know it then either.
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- Yeah. We never do.
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We never appreciate where we are in that moment in time.
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- That's what I try to think of.
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I think, when I am 70...
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- Mm-hmm. - I'm gonna wish
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that I looked what I looked like when I was with you.
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- Yes, yes. - Just this, though.
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Okay. - Just this.
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- Just this, what I-- just right here.
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- Just this moment? --Yeah. - Yeah.
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And I'm getting these clothes and--okay, go ahead.
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- Okay.
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I love you so much.
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So, we went out and we tried to sell tickets.
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We actually ended up being very charitable.
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We were raising money for charity,
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and we didn't really have a charity in mind,
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but we went on Barham Boulevard--
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- I made up one.
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- Yeah, you made up ridiculous ones.
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But anyway, we had signs,
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and we wanted to see how many people we could get to pull over
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to give tickets to the opening night of "Star Wars."
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And this was just this afternoon.
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- "Star Wars" for charity!
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- Carrie Fisher!
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- Carrie Fisher in stupid hair, again!
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Look. Come on.
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See, it's not as popular as you think.
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- This movie is very popular.
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[car honking horn] - Oh.
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- Oh, pull over. - Okay.
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- Yeah, okay, hi. - Okay, hi.
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- Are you interested in seeing "Star Wars"?
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Yeah, I would like to see it.
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- Have you bought tickets yet?
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I haven't, I was just waiting.
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- Good, that's good.
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- So now, normally they're $500 for a pair.
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- Right, right, right. - Because you can't get them any more.
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They're like, you know--
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- They're--they're gold. They're like gold.
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- People are-- they are like gold,
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but more. - More than gold.
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They're like Trump's money. - So, how much money
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do you have?
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- I have, like, $150.
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- Yeah. - But, like, on my debit card.
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- Oh, well, that's all right.
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What do you have in your trunk? We'll trade you.
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- Do you have-- - I have some clothes.
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- This is where it pays to be a hoarder.
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- Do you have a blouse? - I have a--yeah.
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I got a...sweatshirt. - What is that?
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All right. Here's two tickets.
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- [gasps] - It's for opening night.
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- Is it? - Yeah, opening night, 7:45.
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- Is this real? - It's real.
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- It's real. - We didn't make you pull over for nothing.
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- If she says it's real...
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- Okay, bye. - Bye, see you later.
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both: Tickets to "Star Wars"!
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- Tickets to "Star Wars." - Oh, yeah, oh, good, good.
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Now it's happening. Now we're doing it.
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How are you doing? - We love you!
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- Oh. It's Princess Leia.
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- Oh, hi. - Do you love me also?
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Uh, I don't know you yet.
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- I'm Princess Leia. - Oh, now I know.
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- Yeah. - So we're selling tickets
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for charity to "Star Wars." - Okay.
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- So, you look like you have money, it's a nice car.
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Can you take my card?
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- No. - No, you're gonna think
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long and hard about it. You've got cash.
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All right, let's try them. - Yeah, come on.
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This is bull [bleep].
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- Are you a "Star Wars" fan? - Yes.
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- Which character do you like?
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I like Skywalker.
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- Skywalker? - Skywalker.
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That's my brother!
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Do you have, like, $10?
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- No, just let him have it.
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- I want $10. - All right.
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You're a nurse, right? - Yeah, I am.
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- I like nurses. You're good people.
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- Love nurses. - Thank you.
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- All right, we're gonna give you two tickets to opening night, "Star Wars."
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Get out!
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- Get out of here.
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Will you wear your nurse's outfit to the opening? - Okay
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- Nurse. - Are you a "Star Wars" fan?
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- As soon as you heard- - I am.
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I was driving across the street.
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- Will you trade this for a-- - I would.
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- Ask him to make a-- do you have a talent?
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- He doesn't have any money.
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- I can do a handstand.
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And a song while you're up.
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- A song while I do it? - Yeah.
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- [humming "Star Wars" theme]
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- That is good.
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- You have two tickets to go see "Star Wars" opening night.
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How cool is that? - That is fantastic.
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- That is cool. And dress up.
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- I will. - Not the--good.
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- The Force be with you. - Oh, and you.
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- You want tickets to "Star Wars"?
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- Okay. - All right.
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Should we get in the middle?
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- No. - That'll cause an accident.
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- Opening night, "Star Wars." - Opening night.
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- A hundred bucks? - $100 is great.
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- Sure, yeah. - Okay.
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- It's for a charity. - It's going to charity.
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- Absolutely. - All right.
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- 100 bucks for you. - Wonderful, thank you so much.
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100 bucks for me. - Oh, thank you.
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- It's mine. All right.
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I need three, I will give you a hundred.
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- Wow! This is taking off.
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I'm gonna take that. - Isn't that amazing?
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- That's awesome. - What is your charity?
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- My charity is for mental illness for animals.
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- Oh, that's so great. - Thank you.
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- What do you have? What do you want to trade?
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- Do you have, like, $10?
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- You have cigarettes, you have water,
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and you have a lot of auditions down there.
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- I know. - All right.
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I'm gonna give you two tickets to opening night, "Star Wars."
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Where are you going? - I'm gonna take the picture.
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- Oh, you will? Thank you.
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- Here, go.
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No, I'm gonna take it with Ellen.
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Oh, okay. - Oh, she just went to Maps.
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- Here. - I can't do it.
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Okay. - Now she's on Maps.
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She's trying to take a picture...
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- Okay, go. - And she--
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- Ellen! Here we go, I did it.
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There...there...and look.
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- Oh, a selfie. - I can't do this.
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Okay, no, I didn't get it. Okay, there.
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Look, I did it. - All right.
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[cheers and applause]
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You did it. - Good.
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I did it. I'm so proud.
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- All right, so proud.
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[applause]
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"Star Wars: The Force Awakens" opens in theaters everywhere
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this Friday. It is gonna be magnificent.
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Thank you so much, Carrie Fisher!