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So... you put down your trousers? - What book ? - The one down your trousers.
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l don't have a book down my trousers.
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Right.
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l tell you what. Um, l'll call the police, and, um,
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if l'm wrong about the whole "book down the trousers" scenario,
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l really apologize.
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Okay. What if... l did have a book down my trousers ?
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Well, ideally, when l went back to the desk,
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you'd remove the Cadogan Guide to Bali from your trousers...
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and either wipe it and put it back or buy it.
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l'll see you in a sec.
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l'm sorry about that.
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No, it's fine.
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l was gonna steal one, but now l've changed my mind.
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Oh, signed by the author, l see.
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Um, yeah, couldn't stop him.
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lf you can find an unsigned one, it's worth an absolute fortune.
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Excuse me.
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- Yes ? - Can l have your autograph ?
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Uh, sure.
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- What's your name ? - Rufus.
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What does it say ?
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That's my signature. And above it, it says, "Dear Rufus, you belong in jail."
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Good one.
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- Do you want my phone number ? - Tempting.
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But... no. Thank you.
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l will take this one.
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Oh, right, right. So, uh--
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Well, on second thoughts, um, maybe it's not that bad after all.
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Actually, it's a sort of a classic, really.
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None of those childish kebab stories you find in so many books these days.
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And, um, l tell you what.
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l'll throw in one of those for free.
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Useful for, uh, lighting fires,
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wrapping fish, that sort of thing.
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- Thanks. - Pleasure.
