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  • (Lorelai) DO YOU COME BEARING PIZZA?

  • I'M NOT AN IDIOT.

  • THEN GET IN HERE.

  • HEY.

  • HEY.

  • SIT. YOU'RE MISSING IT.

  • WHAT ARE WE WATCHING?

  • THE INCOMPARABLE DONNA REED SHOW.

  • WHAT'S IN THERE?

  • UH, A SALAD.

  • SAL

  • YEAH, IT'S A QUAINT DISH SOMETIMES USED

  • TO PRECEDE LARGE QUANTITIES OF PIZZA.

  • IT'S FOR ME.

  • CLEARLY.

  • SO, WHO'S DONNA REED?

  • WHAT?

  • YOU DON'T KNOW WHO DONNA RE

  • ?

  • THE QUINTESSENTIAL '50S MOM WITH THE PERFECT '50S FAMILY?

  • NEVER WITHOUT A SMILE AND HIGH HEELS?

  • HAIR THAT IF YOU HIT WITH A HAMMER WOULD CRACK?

  • SO, IT'S A SHOW?

  • IT'S A LIFESTYLE.

  • IT'S A RELIGION.

  • MY FAVORITE EPISODE...

  • UM, UM. TELL ME, TELL ME.

  • ...IS WHEN THEIR SON, JEFF, COMES HOME FROM SCHOOL,

  • AND NOTHING HAPPENS.

  • OOH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

  • ONE OF MY FAVORITES IS WHEN MARY, THE DAUGHTER,

  • GETS A PART-TIME JOB,

  • AND NOTHING HAPPENS.

  • ANOTHER CLASSIC.

  • SO WHAT'S THIS ONE ABOUT?

  • UH, THIS ONE IS ACTUALLY QUITE FILLED WITH INTRIGUE.

  • THE HUSBAND, ALEX, COMES HOME LATE FOR DINNER, AND HE DIDN'T CALL.

  • MIGHT AS WELL KICK THE DOG, TOO.

  • HUH, OH SHE'S MA

  • ...BIND IN THE SUGAR DEPARTMENT.

  • I GUESS I WAS THINKING OF SOMETHING ELSE.

  • NOT THAT MY SUGARY ATTITUDE WOULDN'T MAKE ANYONE AN INSTANT DIABETIC.

  • (Rory) MOTHER-DAUGHTER WINDOW WASHING.

  • WE SHOULD TRY THAT.

  • YEAH, RIGHT AFTER MOTHER-DAUGHTER SHOCK TREATMENTS.

  • YOU KNOW, DAUGHTER, THERE'S NOTHING MORE SATISFYING THAN WASHING WINDOWS. OH, NO.

  • WHAT? DID I MISS A SPOT?

  • NO, I JUST HAD AN IMPURE THOUGHT ABOUT YOUR FATHER, ALEX.

  • FUNNY, I DON'T KNOW WHY I HAD IT.

  • IT ISN'T THE 2ND SATURDAY OF THE MONTH.

  • (Rory) HEY, I HEARD YOU HAD AN IMPURE THOUGHT ABOUT ME.

  • I MUST NOW SUBLIMATE ALL MY IMPURE THOUGHTS

  • BY GOING INTO THE KITCHEN AND MAKING, UH,

  • AN ENDLESS STRING OF PERFECT CASSEROLES.

  • YOU'RE NOT EVEN

  • OURS IS BETTER.

  • I DON'T KNOW, IT ALL SEEMS KIND OF NICE TO ME.

  • WHAT DOES?

  • OH, YOU KNOW, FAMILIES HANGING TOGETHER,

  • I MEAN, UH, A WIFE COOKING DINNER FOR HER HUSBAND.

  • AND LOOK, SHE SEEMS REALLY HAPPY.

  • SHE'S MEDICATED.

  • AND ACTING FROM A SCRIPT.

  • WRITTEN BY A MAN.

  • WELL SAID, SISTER SUFFRAGETTE.

  • WHAT IF SHE LIKES MAKING DOUGHNUTS AND DINNER FOR HER FAMILY

  • AND KEEPING THINGS NICE FOR THEM AND...

  • [T.V. playing]

  • OK, I FEEL VERY UNPOPULAR RIGHT NOW.

  • YOU KNOW, DEAR, THE FIRST 10 YEARS WE WERE MARRIED,

  • I WAS UPSET WHEN YOU CAME HOME LATE FOR DINNER.

  • THEN YOU'RE NOT ANYMORE?

  • NO. YOU ARE NO LONGER LATE FOR DINNER.

  • YOU'RE JUST EXTREMELY EARLY FOR BREAKFAST.

  • VOILA! YOUR BREAKFAST.

  • HEY, I'M NOT SAYIN' A WORD.

(Lorelai) DO YOU COME BEARING PIZZA?

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