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  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • WAITER: Would you ladies like to hear about our specials?

  • LEO: Actually I'm not having anything.

  • DAVID: No, me neither.

  • WAITER: Would you like a drink?

  • LEO: No.

  • DAVID: No thanks.

  • WAITER: OK.

  • DAVID: So ugh, my kids are driving me crazy.

  • I mean I don't have the money to get them all of this name

  • brand stuff.

  • It's Nike this, Nike that, and Nike the other thing.

  • It's-- who needs it?

  • LEO: I didn't know you had kids.

  • DAVID: I don't have kids.

  • I'm kidding of course.

  • But if I did, they would drive me crazy with Nike this, Nike

  • that ah ah ah.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • Oh my God, who is that?

  • LEO: Man, I would totally fuck a baby into that pussy.

  • DAVID: Now wait a second Leo.

  • I saw her first.

  • And I think I really love her.

  • LEO: OK, hey, I had no idea how serious you were about

  • this chick.

  • Brothers before whores, David.

  • Go ahead.

  • Make your move.

  • DAVID: Should I?

  • No, I'm too shy.

  • I can't.

  • Plus, look at me.

  • I'm wearing glasses.

  • She's going to think I'm hideous.

  • Will you please talk her for me?

  • LEO: But David, if she's talking to me, how will she

  • ever know what's in your heart?

  • DAVID: Your Bluetooth.

  • LEO: Bluetooth?

  • Ah, what are you talking about?

  • DAVID: Here's what we do.

  • You go talk to her.

  • I'll call you on your Bluetooth.

  • And I'll tell you what to say.

  • It'll be perfect, it'll be like Harrison Ford

  • in Air Force One.

  • Get off my plane!

  • LEO: So using our Blueteeth it will be your words coming out

  • of my mouth.

  • This might be one of your craziest schemes yet, David.

  • I hope it works.

  • DAVID: If it doesn't, I will kill myself.

  • LEO: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

  • Hopefully we can pull this off.

  • DAVID: I just hope that later, I'm pulling off her panties.

  • LEO: I get it, all right.

  • Just get ready to call my Bluetooth.

  • DAVID: So excited.

  • LEO: Hello, is this seat taken?

  • MARY: Are you serious?

  • [PHONE RINGING]

  • DAVID: Hi, I'm David.

  • LEO: Hi, I'm David.

  • DAVID: David Wain.

  • LEO: David Wain.

  • MARY: Ha ha ha.

  • I can't believe I'm doing this, but, uh, yeah sure.

  • Why don't you have a seat?

  • DAVID: You seemed so nice from where I'm sitting that I had

  • to say something.

  • But I didn't have the guts.

  • LEO: You seemed so nice from where I'm sitting I--

  • I just had to talk to you.

  • But I didn't have the guts.

  • DAVID: What's your name, anyway?

  • LEO: What's your name, anyway?

  • MARY: Mary.

  • Mary Cartwright.

  • DAVID: Well you're a total fox, Mary.

  • LEO: Well you really are a complete fox.

  • MARY: Oh, ha ha.

  • I actually think that you're a complete fox, and I'm

  • especially attracted to your Adam's Apple.

  • DAVID: You know what?

  • You're the first person to ever say that to me because I

  • have a recessed Adam's Apple.

  • I mean like when I was a kid--

  • don't get me started, it was like when I hit puberty,

  • everybody was like, where's your Adam's Apple?

  • And I'm like, I don't know.

  • And my parents even thought about getting me an implant.

  • But then it's like they'd already paid for a nose job,

  • and I was like--

  • huh?

  • What the--

  • WAITER: What are you doing?

  • MARY: Oh God.

  • Tell me more about your pre-adolescent, recessed

  • Adam's Apple.

  • DAVID: Ahem.

  • Your appetizers are ready.

  • LEO: I never order appetizers, because

  • they ruin my appetite--

  • oh my God, David.

  • I fucked up.

  • I fucked up big time.

  • DAVID: I really thought I could trust you.

  • You were like a friend to me.

  • And you.

  • I don't even know what to say to you.

  • But you're the one I'm really mad at, Leo.

  • MARY: Wait a cotton fucking second, who the

  • motherfuck is Leo?

  • LEO: I'm Leo.

  • This is David.

  • MARY: So you're not the guy with the recessed Adam's Apple

  • that I fell in love with?

  • LEO: My Adam's Apple was in school all the time.

  • There's nothing recessed about it.

  • DAVID: Good one.

  • LEO: Thanks.

  • MARY: Oooh.

  • Yeah, I think I gotta sort some things through.

  • I--

  • I'm just a little confused, I'm sorry.

  • [CRYING]

  • WAITER: Can I have my stuff back, please?

  • DAVID: Sure.

  • Here you go, asshole.

  • And you know what?

  • think we do want to hear about those specials now, because

  • after what we've been through, we're pretty hungry.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: I'm dying.

  • DAVID: I'm so sorry to hear that.

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: Yeah, it's a really rare,

  • rare form of acne.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

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A2 leo david adam apple bluetooth nike waiter

Wainy Days #4 - 'Cyrano d'Bluetooth'

  • 101 2
    紅謹 posted on 2013/04/20
Video vocabulary