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  • - My oldest daughter did go to college, yes.

  • - How's that with Lourdes gone?

  • - An absolutely devastating experience, I have to say.

  • - Everybody says that. - I know, everyone says that.

  • And my sister said it to me when her son went away,

  • and I said, "Oh, my God, you're being so dramatic."

  • She was, like, bawling on the phone.

  • And then my daughter left me, and I was--

  • I fell into the deepest depression.

  • And I'm always so happy when she calls me and says,

  • "Mommy, I miss you,"

  • or "Mommy, I need you to rub my head."

  • I'm like, "Yes," so...

  • - You're still needed.

  • - I'm still needed, yes.

  • - And now, do you--

  • have you met people that she's dating?

  • Does she introduce you to whoever she's dating?

  • - Yeah, he came to our house two weekends ago

  • and spent the weekend with us.

  • both: Mm-hmm.

  • - Are you--I mean, you can't really say

  • if you don't like him, but--

  • [laughter]

  • But, I mean, you must be very, very protective of her.

  • - I am. He's a very sensible boy.

  • Young man-- I shouldn't say he's a boy.

  • He's intelligent. So I'm happy about that.

  • - How old is he?

  • - He's a sophomore, so a year older than her.

  • - So 22, something like that?

  • - No. 19. She's 18.

  • - I don't know-- I never went to no college.

  • I don't know. [laughter]

  • - "Yo.

  • I didn't go to no college."

  • [laughter]

  • - So 19. - He's 19, she's 18, and--

  • - What's the youngest boy you have ever dated?

  • [laughter]

  • - I mean, it depends on, like, how old.

  • You got to, like-- it depends on--

  • - Like, in the last, like, five years.

  • [laughter]

  • - 'Cause I was gonna say, when I moved to New York,

  • I dated a 16-year-old, but that was--

  • - That was when you were, like, 18.

  • - Yeah. Anyway--

  • - So you've always been for younger men,

  • even when you were 18.

  • - No, that's not true.

  • I've dated all sorts, all kinds.

  • I dated Warren Beatty, I mean...

  • - That's true. - So...no.

  • The youngest was-- in the last six years--22, yeah.

  • [scattered cheers] - All right.

  • [cheers and applause]

  • All right. - Why is everyone so obsessed?

  • I don't-- - I'm not obsessed.

  • - Age is a number.

  • - I agree with you, and I-- we're the same age,

  • and I certainly don't feel my age.

  • I feel like--you know, until I have to tell someone my age,

  • or if I read it in print, 'cause they are obsessed with--

  • - Until you're walking with a Zimmer frame, yo,

  • you can do whatever you want.

  • - With a what? - Zimmer--

  • What do you call those things? When you--

  • - Oh, a metal detector?

  • [laughter]

  • Are you gonna go on the beach?

  • That's when you start aging, when you're on the beach with--

  • - No, you know, those frames that you walk with.

  • - Oh, yeah. A walker?

  • woman: Walker. - Yeah.

  • - Walker, yeah. [laughter]

  • - What's a Zimmer frame?

  • - I thought that--maybe-- I don't know,

  • maybe it's 'cause I haven't had enough sleep.

  • I thought it was the thing-- you know, you walk,

  • and you, like, hold on to it.

  • - It's a walker. - Yeah.

  • - Right. [laughter]

  • - Ah, yeah, people just don't like it

  • when I have fun, I think.

  • - Yeah, I think it's fantastic.

  • And men date younger women all the time

  • and nobody says anything about it.

  • What's wrong with women dating younger men?

  • [cheers and applause] - Thank you. Whoo!

  • - I want you to go to Michigan-- to the university

  • and be able to hang out with Lourdes,

  • but I know that you're you, so that's gonna be difficult.

  • So I got something so you can go.

  • And here it is.

  • So... - Oh, my God, another cape.

  • - Yeah, but look at the back of it though.

  • - Oh.

  • [laughter and applause]

  • Should I try it?

  • - Nobody will ever know it's-- - No.

  • By the way, she does-- I'm made--

  • when I go to visit her, I have to stay in her dorm.

  • I can't even go out on the streets with her.

  • - All right, so you can wear that.

  • - I will.

  • - And look what else I got so you can go to the game.

  • It's a cooler that you can bring, and--

  • [applause]

  • - Oh, excellent.

  • - So I can--

  • - It's very--it's so low-key. - Yeah.

  • You can drink your champagne. - Tailgate party.

  • - And then I also have-- Guillermo has some stuff.

  • - Guillermo, you thought of me. Oh.

  • Hi. - Hi, Madonna.

  • - Cheers. - Nice to meet you.

  • - How are you? - This is for you.

  • I'm very good. How are you? - Nice to meet you.

  • - Look, I have you on my arm.

  • - Oh, my God. Aw.

- My oldest daughter did go to college, yes.

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