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  • What is the best animal ever?

  • Hi, I'm Simone from Victoria, B.C., Canada. Let's talk about that.

  • ♪ (theme music) ♪

  • Good Mythical Morning!

  • This episode is brought to you by the Rhett & Link Tweak Mythical Shoe.

  • Go to rhettandlink.com/store to get this and other merch.

  • All right, last week we talked about the best candy bar ever. We asked you to

  • decide and there was a very clear winner.

  • (speaking over a drumroll) Ladies and gentlemen, we tabulated your votes in

  • the comments and video responses. The winner of the best candy bar ever is...

  • Twix! I really love Twix. So please choose Twix.

  • - Bluetoaster2000 really loves Twix. - And so does the internet. Thank you for

  • voting. Now it's time to move on! We have new questions of best things ever.

  • Best animal ever. You know, this is something that, when you're a kid...

  • I remember, it's something you would ask somebody, like the second question

  • you'd ask somebody in second grade. What's your favorite color?

  • - (high voice) Blue. - (high voice) What's your favorite animal?

  • - Lion. - (childlike laugh)

  • - What do you wanna be when you grow up? - (normally) But this kind of thing,

  • - what's your favorite animal ever... - I wanna be a blue lion when I grow up.

  • - You never quit thinking about it. - It's like a Smurf lion.

  • It's something you say on a first date with somebody when you're 25.

  • It might not be the second question you ask, but you're just getting to know

  • somebody and you're like, "What's your favorite animal, baby?" Don't say "baby"

  • - on the first date. - (normally) Really? And a baby's not an

  • - animal, if you were making a suggestion. - No, I wasn't. I was just, you know,

  • acting like I was on a date. I don't remember. I have date night with my wife,

  • but it's been a long time since I've been on an actual date.

  • Just leave your wife out of this. It makes it more complicated.

  • Best animal ever. Here's what we're gonna do: we're gonna read out a list that is by

  • no means an exhaustive list of all the animals because we wanna limit the amount

  • of time to be quality time here on Good Mythical Morning. But we'll read off a

  • list and at least get you thinking, and then we are going to each tell you what

  • our favorite animal is and maybe give some arguments. So feel free in the

  • comments to go ahead at any point to say what is your favorite animal. What do you

  • - think is the best animal ever? - We're gonna figure out what the best

  • animal ever is, according to the internet.

  • You might wanna wait until you hear what we have to say. But first, let's whet our

  • appetites with a list which I have on my phone.

  • So how did you-- what went into this list?

  • Just off the top of my head. I went back to grade school and mined all of those

  • conversations that I had with my friends at the time where I always asked, "What's

  • your favorite color? What's the best animal ever? Blah blah blah."

  • - Yeah. - Rhino.

  • - Okay. - It's got matted hair for a horn.

  • That's a little-known fact. We talked about that, maybe in a past episode,

  • - maybe last year. Matted hair. - The panda.

  • Lots of people love pandas because it looks like you could cuddle up to 'em,

  • - but they will kill you. - The kitten. It's gotta be the most

  • - popular calendar animal. - It's a very popular internet animal,

  • - too, already. - Of course, the obvious dog.

  • - Is it kitten or cat? Either? - Either. Whatever. I'm saying kitten,

  • - Okay. - but you can comment cat if that's your

  • best animal ever. They're the same thing at different ages.

  • Really? I thought a kitten was a different species.

  • - A dog, 'cause it's whisperable. A lion. - Lion, that's your favorite animal when

  • you were a child, according to the fictitious person you were playing

  • - earlier. King of the jungle. - Tiger. You know, it's got stripes.

  • - It's awesome looking. - First of all, tiger is very popular.

  • Then there's the liger, which is a mix of the tiger and the lion, which I thought

  • - was fake. - I saw one in person.

  • - You saw one? - I saw one in person in Myrtle Beach.

  • Ligers hang out.... when were you in Myrtle Beach?

  • Just on the beach, and I ran like I've never run before. No, it was in a cage.

  • - They are huge. It's awesome. - There's something called

  • Double Hybridization, or something like that. When the lion and tiger mate, they

  • - create a much larger animal. - Who knew it was true? Napoleon Dynamite,

  • - you know? - I thought that was just a joke in

  • Napoleon Dynamite, but it's real animal.

  • But it's not either one of our best ever animals.

  • - It's not the best animal ever. - Ooh. Honey badger, for obvious reasons,

  • - is on the list. Did I say dolphin? - Lots of people like dolphins. Lots of

  • - girls like dolphins. - Right. Because... (nerdy voice) Well,

  • - you know it's a mammal. - (nerdy voice) The dolphin is, like, the

  • smartest ever. In fact, did you know that dolphins are smarter than people?

  • And pigs, I think, are also smarter than people. Pigs, let's just add them to the

  • list right now. Snakes. I'm just gonna open it wide open. 'Cause when you're a

  • kid, you don't say, "cobra," you just say "snake!"

  • - Snake in general. - Spider.

  • - Okay. - Butterfly.

  • (laughs) Butterfly. Who's favorite animal is a butterfly?

  • Well, girls are fond of the whole process of metamorphosis.

  • Well, they're fond of tattooing butterflies on themselves. At least

  • they were in the nineties.

  • - Really. - Every girl I've ever... I think 90% of

  • women that I got to know in the nineties had butterfly tattoos.

  • I was picturing grade school girls love butterflies, and all of a sudden you're

  • putting tattoos on 'em and it just started to get weird. It just totally threw me

  • off of my list, which ends with duck-billed platypus.

  • Unusual animal. Seems fictitious until you actually see one. I saw one in

  • Myrtle Beach one time. Did I tell you about that?

  • - Yeah. On the beach? Did you run? - Okay. Now let's--

  • - I've never seen one. - So that's kind of a list of

  • favorite animals around the world.

  • Blue-footed booby bird. I don't care, just name any one you want and put it in the

  • - comments. But why don't we at least-- - Let's make a case. We'll make a case.

  • We'll make some cases. You first. Me first?

  • - Okay, I'll go first. - You first.

  • I made some notes because I did not want to forget this, because I feel it to be

  • - important. - Okay.

  • The best animal ever, in my opinion, is the giraffe. This is not just because

  • I'm a very tall person and the giraffe happens to be the tallest terrestrial

  • animal and also the largest ruminant. That means it chews the cud.

  • - The cow is also a ruminant. - Yeah, but not very tall.

  • They have a great pattern, almost like a leopard-ish pattern. Very intimidating,

  • - very cool. - Okay, I'll give you that.

  • They have an awesome fighting technique that a lot of people don't know about.

  • - The technical term for it is necking. - What? I think that means something else.

  • - It means something else in high school. - And if it means that,

  • - don't show a video clip. - (Rhett) No, it means the males hit their

  • necks... it would be like if me and you got into a fight, and I was like, "C'mon,

  • - man, c'mon." And then I was like this. - (grunts)

  • - And then hit you in the neck with my neck. - Do they hold their chest area like this?

  • Because somehow I felt like this was how I was gonna be a giraffe.

  • - Well, that's not what they do. - I did this to make my neck seem longer.

  • I don't think a giraffe has ever touched themselves on the chest like that.

  • I think I could kill you with my goozle. Look how pointy it is.

  • - Yeah, you could. - Bam!

  • - You'd be a good giraffe. A good necker. - Do they have-- No. Do they have goozles?

  • I'm sure they do, they just don't stick out that much.

  • When they swallow, does it go from the bottom to the top of their neck?

  • - Like an elevator? - Like look at my big ol' goozle.

  • This isn't about your goozle. (laughs) Oh my goodness.

  • Listen, don't ever do that again. Don't ever swallow in my presence again.

  • I think I'm gonna try to harness my goozle to be a weapon.

  • They're cute, but they can kill you. Did you know that the giraffe can disembowel

  • - you? That means to remove your bowels. - If given a knife.

  • - No, with its hoof. - Never give a giraffe a knife if you

  • - wanna keep it as a pet. - The giraffe has a 20-inch tongue that

  • can clean its own nose. Can you imagine doing that?

  • I've imagined it a lot, yes, but I'm not gonna admit to it.

  • 'Cause with the hooves, you can't pick your own boogers. It would get very ugly.

  • But he can just stick his 20-inch tongue up in his nose and eat his own boogers.

  • That gets points from me. Ah, makes a great pet.

  • - That's not true. Okay-- - Hold on!

  • - Hurry up. - And the last thing--

  • - I'm really anxious to get to mine. - Okay, go ahead.

  • Own it! If you've got one last thing, please. Don't let me limit you.

  • I think the giraffe is a great untapped transportation method. I think people

  • should be riding giraffes. I could make a saddle. I've got it envisioned. I could

  • - patent it. - It's funny, you're kind of making an

  • argument for my best animal ever, which is the miniature horse. Everything that a

  • horse gives you, but in a smaller package. Have you seen these things? They're like

  • - three feet tall. - (Rhett) Yeah, it's like a horse but it's

  • - smaller than a horse. - (Link) The cute quotient of these things

  • is amazing. Now, I know it's probably not cool for me to say, "Okay, the miniature

  • horse," but I'm saying just the cuteness overrides any attempt at coolness, and

  • I'm comfortable with that. I will be driving down the road and I will see

  • - a pasture full of miniature horses... - Really?

  • and I will just have to pull over and stare.

  • - Where is this, Myrtle Beach? - In Fuquay, right around the corner from

  • where I used to live, my house, there were some miniature horses there.

  • In a pasture? How come you didn't tell me about this?

  • Because I wanted to keep it all to myself. You know that miniature horses are one of

  • the leading causes of traffic incidences, because of onlooker rubbernecking.

  • - Really? - Yeah.

  • - That cannot be true. - Well, it's not. But they are so cute

  • that I'm certain that after running red lights and road rage, that it's right up

  • there with causing a lot of traffic problems.

  • But you can't even ride one. If I were to stand, I could straddle a miniature horse

  • and it wouldn't even touch me. You understand that?

  • And that is a reason in my favor. Vote for the miniature horse in the comments.

  • Or the giraffe, it's also my wife's favorite animal. When we go to the zoo,

  • we cannot leave until we see the giraffes. I don't argue with her.

  • Necking. You gotta see the giraffes necking.

  • So, submit your video responses, especially if you have an argument,

  • and we can feature it in a subsequent best ever episode.

  • We wanna know what the best animal ever is. Vote in the comments. Now let's spin

  • the wheel, and I'm gonna go find the nearest giraffe and I'm gonna ride it

  • - to your doorstep. - Let us know on Facebook and Twitter:

  • what should be a subsequent episode of "Best ever?" Hashtag #bestever.

  • Maybe we'll try that. I'm just making it up. What's the wheel say?

  • - Eat your own hair. - Gosh.

  • I remember when you came up with this one.

  • Where are the scissors? They're over there. All right. We knew we had scissors.

  • I don't know. I thought it would be good at the time. Let's get this over with.

  • Aw, this is so stupid. I'm gonna cut some ears off.

  • Just get some from back here, now. Not too much.

  • I'm not-- I'm just gonna do half an inch. Watch out, I've got it.

  • - Ah! - That much.

  • - Gosh, Rhett. - Hold on, now. Cut some of mine off.

  • Why did you come up with this? People, we're desperate for good ideas for the

  • Mythical Wheel. The Wheel of Mythicality. We shouldn't be eating our own hair.

  • - This is so lame. - There we go, people. We do this for you.

  • Three, two, one.

  • Thanks for watching. It's probably impossible to swallow. I'm gonna be

  • swallowing this stuff all day. At least I didn't have to swallow your hair.

  • - That's not going on the wheel. - (grunts)

  • - All right, I'm going for a swallow. - I just did it.

  • - Oh, gosh. - It's not that bad.

  • Can I change my vote to triceratops?

  • [Captioned by Caitrin: GMM Captioning Team]

What is the best animal ever?

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