There was a table set out under a tree in

front of the house, and the March Hare and

the Hatter were having tea at it: a

Dormouse was sitting between them, fast

asleep, and the other two were using it as

a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and

talking over its head.

'Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,'

thought Alice; 'only, as it's asleep, I

suppose it doesn't mind.'

The table was a large one, but the three

were all crowded together at one corner of

it: 'No room!

No room!' they cried out when they saw

Alice coming.

'There's PLENTY of room!' said Alice

indignantly, and she sat down in a large

arm-chair at one end of the table.

'Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an

encouraging tone.

Alice looked all round the table, but there

was nothing on it but tea.

'I don't see any wine,' she remarked.

'There isn't any,' said the March Hare.

'Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer

it,' said Alice angrily.

'It wasn't very civil of you to sit down

without being invited,' said the March

Hare.

'I didn't know it was YOUR table,' said

Alice; 'it's laid for a great many more

than three.'

'Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter.

He had been looking at Alice for some time

with great curiosity, and this was his

first speech.

'You should learn not to make personal

remarks,' Alice said with some severity;

'it's very rude.'

The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on

hearing this; but all he SAID was, 'Why is

a raven like a writing-desk?'

'Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought

Alice.

'I'm glad they've begun asking riddles.

--I believe I can guess that,' she added

aloud.

'Do you mean that you think you can find

out the answer to it?' said the March Hare.

'Exactly so,' said Alice.

'Then you should say what you mean,' the

March Hare went on.

'I do,' Alice hastily replied; 'at least--

at least I mean what I say--that's the same

thing, you know.'

'Not the same thing a bit!' said the

Hatter.

'You might just as well say that "I see

what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat

what I see"!'

'You might just as well say,' added the

March Hare, 'that "I like what I get" is

the same thing as "I get what I like"!'

'You might just as well say,' added the

Dormouse, who seemed to be talking in his

sleep, 'that "I breathe when I sleep" is

the same thing as "I sleep when I

breathe"!'

'It IS the same thing with you,' said the

Hatter, and here the conversation dropped,

and the party sat silent for a minute,

while Alice thought over all she could

remember about ravens and writing-desks,

which wasn't much.

The Hatter was the first to break the

silence.

'What day of the month is it?' he said,

turning to Alice: he had taken his watch

out of his pocket, and was looking at it

uneasily, shaking it every now and then,

and holding it to his ear.

Alice considered a little, and then said

'The fourth.'

'Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter.

'I told you butter wouldn't suit the

works!' he added looking angrily at the

March Hare.

'It was the BEST butter,' the March Hare

meekly replied.

'Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as

well,' the Hatter grumbled: 'you shouldn't

have put it in with the bread-knife.'

The March Hare took the watch and looked at

it gloomily: then he dipped it into his cup

of tea, and looked at it again: but he

could think of nothing better to say than

his first remark, 'It was the BEST butter,

you know.'

Alice had been looking over his shoulder

with some curiosity.

'What a funny watch!' she remarked.

'It tells the day of the month, and doesn't

tell what o'clock it is!'

'Why should it?' muttered the Hatter.

'Does YOUR watch tell you what year it is?'

'Of course not,' Alice replied very

readily: 'but that's because it stays the

same year for such a long time together.'

'Which is just the case with MINE,' said

the Hatter.

Alice felt dreadfully puzzled.

The Hatter's remark seemed to have no sort

of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly

English.

'I don't quite understand you,' she said,

as politely as she could.

'The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the

Hatter, and he poured a little hot tea upon

its nose.

The Dormouse shook its head impatiently,

and said, without opening its eyes, 'Of

course, of course; just what I was going to

remark myself.'

'Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the

Hatter said, turning to Alice again.

'No, I give it up,' Alice replied: 'what's

the answer?'

'I haven't the slightest idea,' said the

Hatter.

'Nor I,' said the March Hare.

Alice sighed wearily.

'I think you might do something better with

the time,' she said, 'than waste it in

asking riddles that have no answers.'

'If you knew Time as well as I do,' said

the Hatter, 'you wouldn't talk about

wasting IT.

It's HIM.'

'I don't know what you mean,' said Alice.

'Of course you don't!' the Hatter said,

tossing his head contemptuously.

'I dare say you never even spoke to Time!'

'Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied:

'but I know I have to beat time when I

learn music.'

'Ah! that accounts for it,' said the

Hatter.

'He won't stand beating.

Now, if you only kept on good terms with

him, he'd do almost anything you liked with

the clock.

For instance, suppose it were nine o'clock

in the morning, just time to begin lessons:

you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time,

and round goes the clock in a twinkling!

Half-past one, time for dinner!'

('I only wish it was,' the March Hare said

to itself in a whisper.)

'That would be grand, certainly,' said

Alice thoughtfully: 'but then--I shouldn't

be hungry for it, you know.'

'Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter:

'but you could keep it to half-past one as

long as you liked.'

'Is that the way YOU manage?'

Alice asked.

The Hatter shook his head mournfully.

'Not I!' he replied.

'We quarrelled last March--just before HE

went mad, you know--' (pointing with his

tea spoon at the March Hare,) '--it was at

the great concert given by the Queen of

Hearts, and I had to sing

| "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!

| How I wonder what you're at!"

You know the song, perhaps?'

'I've heard something like it,' said Alice.

'It goes on, you know,' the Hatter

continued, 'in this way:--

| "Up above the world you fly,

| Like a tea-tray in the sky.

| Twinkle, twinkle--"'

Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began

singing in its sleep 'Twinkle, twinkle,

twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so long

that they had to pinch it to make it stop.

'Well, I'd hardly finished the first

verse,' said the Hatter, 'when the Queen

jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering

the time!

Off with his head!"'

'How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice.

'And ever since that,' the Hatter went on

in a mournful tone, 'he won't do a thing I

ask!

It's always six o'clock now.'

A bright idea came into Alice's head.

'Is that the reason so many tea-things are

put out here?' she asked.

'Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a

sigh: 'it's always tea-time, and we've no

time to wash the things between whiles.'

'Then you keep moving round, I suppose?'

said Alice.

'Exactly so,' said the Hatter: 'as the

things get used up.'

'But what happens when you come to the

beginning again?'

Alice ventured to ask.

'Suppose we change the subject,' the March

Hare interrupted, yawning.

'I'm getting tired of this.

I vote the young lady tells us a story.'

'I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice,

rather alarmed at the proposal.

'Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried.

'Wake up, Dormouse!'

And they pinched it on both sides at once.

The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes.

'I wasn't asleep,' he said in a hoarse,

feeble voice: 'I heard every word you

fellows were saying.'

'Tell us a story!' said the March Hare.

'Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice.

'And be quick about it,' added the Hatter,

'or you'll be asleep again before it's

done.'

'Once upon a time there were three little

sisters,' the Dormouse began in a great

hurry; 'and their names were Elsie, Lacie,

and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of

a well--'

'What did they live on?' said Alice, who

always took a great interest in questions

of eating and drinking.

'They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse,

after thinking a minute or two.

'They couldn't have done that, you know,'

Alice gently remarked; 'they'd have been

ill.'

'So they were,' said the Dormouse; 'VERY

ill.'

Alice tried to fancy to herself what such

an extraordinary ways of living would be

like, but it puzzled her too much, so she

went on: 'But why did they live at the

bottom of a well?'

'Take some more tea,' the March Hare said

to Alice, very earnestly.

'I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an

offended tone, 'so I can't take more.'

'You mean you can't take LESS,' said the

Hatter: 'it's very easy to take MORE than

nothing.'

'Nobody asked YOUR opinion,' said Alice.

'Who's making personal remarks now?' the

Hatter asked triumphantly.

Alice did not quite know what to say to

this: so she helped herself to some tea and

bread-and-butter, and then turned to the

Dormouse, and repeated her question.

'Why did they live at the bottom of a

well?'

The Dormouse again took a minute or two to

think about it, and then said, 'It was a

treacle-well.'