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  • [Love Will Have Its Sacrifices opening theme]

  • You-? You're the-? and the Dean was your–?

  • Yes, yes, and yes. And now that we've dispensed with this inarticulate sputtering,

  • let's move directly to the part where I turn you into a red splotch on the Savonnerie.

  • Huh?

  • The carpet, darling.

  • Mattie! When did you get into town?

  • Last night. And don't you "Mattie" me, you little monster.

  • From what I hear, you're up to your gorgeous neck in this mess, Sis.

  • Sis?

  • Well, there was a little disagreement over whether or not Mother was going to feed my girlfriend

  • to the fish-monster.

  • I heard. So you pried up a soul-eating sword and took a run at them both?

  • You're lucky the damn thing didn't obliterate you.

  • Now hold that thought while I take care of little miss wanna-Buffy.

  • Uh- Mattie, that's Laura. The- uh- girlfriend in question.

  • I know. And look, I'm not pretending I was overly fond of Maman and her headgames myself,

  • but your walking dinner date killed her. Which makes it my duty to pull her apart at the limbs.

  • It's the principle of the thing.

  • I won't let you hurt her.

  • Let?

  • Who are you kidding, kitty-cat?

  • Unless you have that thermonuclear sword stashed somewhere in your deshabille, you're out of your league.

  • Doesn't matter.

  • [Mattie laughs]

  • Oh god.

  • You went and fell in love with one of the marks again, didn't you?

  • -- Oh- No one said anything about- -- Love? Did she just say-

  • You little sap. But then again you were always in the middle of some one great romance or another, weren't you?

  • [In a mocking tone] "Oh, don't eat him he's a poet, or her, she has such a beautiful voice,

  • or that one, that one's just too pretty to ruin."

  • Or that blonde corset in the 1870's that you were head over heels for!

  • It was enough to give a girl cavities!

  • Fine. You like the nymph that much, I can hold off until you get tired of her.

  • That's not-

  • -- Look, I'm glad you're not going to kill her -- I believe

  • the words you're looking for are "Gee, Mattie. Thanks for being so understanding.

  • Especially since this mess means you had to leave Morocco for this ice-blasted wasteland

  • and the implosion of Maman's ridiculous pseudo-versity."

  • Did you know what she was doing?

  • You mean, did I know that she was feeding Nemo's pal down there five people every twenty years?

  • Oh course I did.

  • The Board decided that it was the smartest play ages ago. Five people every twenty years

  • to keep that monster asleep? More people die of dog bites every year.

  • Hell, more people die of me every year!

  • Except it turns out it's helpless.

  • It's not helpless. It's stuck.

  • And I don't know how any of us got so lucky.

  • But I'll be dealing with that tomorrow when the Board meets. In the meantime,

  • how about you and I paint the town red?

  • It's been a while since we've had a girl's night. Not since-

  • Saigon.

  • Now that was a party.

  • You really wanna be in the same state we were in after Saigon before your big Board Meeting?

  • And when did you become the voice of reason?

  • You're probably right about the Boardthose old fuddy-duddies care more about Robert's rules than anything

  • that happened in this creepy backwater.

  • Well, then- business before pleasure.

  • Speaking of which,

  • since I'm not turning the cub reporter into red mist

  • we need to do something about these "news broadcasts".

  • We can't have gossipmongers inciting panic through the only public communication network on campus.

  • Leaving the impression that the University isn't safe.

  • The University *isn't* safe.

  • See. If you had more experience you'd say:

  • "Silas is experiencing upheaval during its time of transition."

  • You know what? Why don't I come back and help you. Make sure you're putting out the right message.

  • -- Uh— I really don't think— -- No please, I insist.

  • God, you're lucky you're such a cute little monster.

  • See you soon. Oh, and try to keep the larceny to a minimum, huh?

  • A lot of Mother's things are literally priceless, and I don't feel like tracking it down

  • in some shabby little pawn shop.

  • Mother's things? Why would any of your Mother's things be in here?

  • Because you're living in Mother's old apartment, darling.

  • Ta!

  • See that subscribe button? You should click it. [Love Will Have Its Sacrifices ending theme]

[Love Will Have Its Sacrifices opening theme]

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