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  • [Opening theme song, Love Will Have Its Sacrifices, plays]

  • [Heavy rain]

  • [Thunder crashing]

  • [Thunder crashing]

  • Welcome back to Silas University!

  • Oh! [Thunder crashing]

  • Bet you're surprised to find us here after that whole...fleeing...thing.

  • Or at least surprised to see you making another video instead of snuggling up with you nice warm...

  • Mmm...Uhhh! Woah there lady killer. Recording the PG13 version of our happy ending here.

  • PG13. How incredibly dull.

  • Update now. Smooching later.

  • Anyway, turns out escaping Austria across the Alps, not as easy as the Sound Of Music made it out to be.

  • Between the moving chasms, and the freak-ball blizzards, and the Styrian villagers with

  • torches and pitchforks. We were forced to return to campus.

  • But only until we can get back to the library and research up "Escape Plan 2.0"!

  • In the meantime, we get to enjoy these swish new digs...which Carm just scored by saying some

  • spectacularly violent things to the Psychology TAs who were squatting here.

  • "But Laura" you say, "wasn't there some business with some evil Dean? And a light demon that

  • demanded a sacrifice with a very hard-to-pronounce name, that Carmilla heroically slew?

  • Which turned out to be less a light demon and more the shiny lure on the forehead of a

  • very enormous and now very angry Anglerfish God, rising from the caverns below the theatre

  • building to devour the campus?" Well. Yes.

  • The thing is, the Anglerfish God is rather big, and, uh, the crater where the Lustig used to be

  • is rather small and so it kind of got...stuck.

  • Which means that the campus is saved!

  • Sort of. Haha.

  • What?

  • So I'm heroic, huh?

  • When you're not threatening to vivisect graduate students.

  • Well, You'd think, if I was some noble warrior goddess, that I'd be entitled to a little more adoration

  • from my wide-eyed maiden fair...

  • You are unbelievable.

  • I guess I should just be happy you haven't found some brand-new crusade to be on.

  • We've been here for like, an hour.

  • What kind of trouble do you think I could possibly get into?

  • Oh, I have all kinds of thoughts about that

  • Hey Guys, so the Library is a No-Go.

  • Nobody has been able to get in for days. Uh, Perr's gone to see if anybody at the student paper

  • knows what's going on- which means that I get a break from the-

  • "What pronoun do I use IF..." interrogations

  • Oh! Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt anything.

  • Excellent.

  • Leave now. Lock the door.

  • Don't listen to her. Vampire Seductress here is just crabby because I'm not falling for her 17th century idea of "game".

  • Sure...

  • But more important than your twisted courtship ritual is:

  • How did you find this place? It's amazing.

  • There's a hot tub in our bathroom. And

  • [thumps on the floor, which makes a hollow noise]

  • Yeah? Like, half the rooms have secret passages!

  • Which we should probably board the hell up, but stillpretty cool, huh?

  • Yeah. Do we know who used to live here?

  • Ohum– I'm sure it was no one important. Probably just fellowship scholars or visiting professors.

  • Lucky bastards.

  • C'mon, you have got to see the big screen in our room, we've got J.P. on the Smart TV!

  • No, that's okay, I'm just going to finish up the video here.

  • "Finish up the video"...

  • Sure.

  • [Laura laughs]

  • Anyway, where was I--?

  • Is that really what you think I was doing?

  • What?

  • Using my romantic wiles to take advantage of you?

  • No! No, that was a just a joke!

  • I mean, is it a little intimidating to know that you have like, centuries of experience as this

  • professional despoiler of virtue?

  • Well...yah.

  • And, I did have a front row seat to last semester's cavalcade of study buddies...but...

  • You changed.

  • What you did for me,

  • for all of us.

  • You took on your Mother.

  • You took on a God.

  • [Thunder crashes]

  • And...maybe I am just some nineteen year-old girl who only passed her Lit Class on a vampire fighting

  • technicality, but...

  • I still know how the story goes:

  • Good is triumphant, and evil is vanquished.

  • And once all of the monsters are chased away, our hero leans in for her

  • very much non-PG kiss,

  • and everything fades to...

  • [Thunder crashes]

  • Perry?!

  • See that subscribe button? You should click it! [Closing theme, Love Will Have Its Sacrifices, plays]

[Opening theme song, Love Will Have Its Sacrifices, plays]

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