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  • [REGGAE MUSIC PLAYS]

  • I think I like reggae because it's like listening to a party.

  • It's like almost company, in a sense.

  • [Jamian Juliano-Villani, artist]

  • It's music that's actually made from necessity.

  • They built their own soundsystems,

  • their own speakers,

  • their own recording devices,

  • and, like, they just used the shit that they had.

  • ["New York Close Up"]

  • Well, that's kind of what I do, too.

  • Like, I make my paintings out of necessity

  • and like using the things around me to communicate what I need to,

  • because I'm really bad at articulating how I feel,

  • vocally.

  • The paintings do that for me.

  • ["Jamian Juliano-Villani's Painting Compulsion"]

  • [CLICKING SOUNDS FROM CAMERA PHONE SHUTTER]

  • I just like this book because

  • it's like really basic ways to compare things.

  • When I look at something, I just take notes of ideas.

  • Green. Suede. Fleece.

  • Tower of Babel.

  • Microscopic life.

  • Hummingbird. Hand and egg. Daddy long legs.

  • Daddy super long legs.

  • And you know that daddy long legs are the most poisonous spider in the world?

  • Except that they don't have teeth.

  • So if they had teeth, you would be dead.

  • For the one I'm doing now with the feet,

  • those are Bruce Nauman feet.

  • I want the feet to somehow look scared,

  • if I could figure that out.

  • So maybe a daddy long legs would do it.

  • Ever since I was little, I just kind of have this registry of facts in my brain.

  • In high school, I used to keep scrap books of all the things that I liked.

  • I would just cut them out and put them in there and save them.

  • And I think that these are the kinds of things that made me feel comfortable.

  • And it seemed so natural, when I started painting,

  • to kind of do the same thing.

  • When I'm working, I have probably, like, thirty images that,

  • in a month or two months, I'll keep on coming back to.

  • I really will try to make those work with what I'm doing.

  • But, they never look like they're supposed to be together.

  • That's when shit gets good.

  • That's when the painting can change from "an image-based narrative" into something else.

  • So, it could get dark or surreal

  • or funny or fucked up--

  • it's like I'm trying to deliver a baby, you know?

  • And the baby is, like, really...

  • has like eight arms and is really fucked up

  • and, like, I don't know how to deliver a baby, you know?

  • I'm trying to figure out what kind of person this is going to be.

  • Because I don't think it should be as simple as a human face,

  • and I also don't know if it should just be an animal, either.

  • But, right now, I'm kind of just scrolling through a bunch of images.

  • I'm just going to plop around and see what feels right.

  • No.

  • Too dumb.

  • So this is Shen Koo. I really like his work.

  • He's like this, kind of, crazy apocalyptic illustrator.

  • The reason why I use cartoons a lot of the times

  • is because I like that they're a kind of populist way of communicating.

  • Because painting is not populist at all, you know?

  • --I kind of like that idea.

  • I respond to things immediately

  • in like an emotional, guttural way,

  • and that's how decisions are formed.

  • It's like when something pisses you off.

  • Something stresses you out.

  • Or, you like the color of something.

  • You're like, "I like that sweater,"

  • "Fuck it, I want that sweater."

  • You know? It's like...

  • [SNAPS FINGERS] Like that.

  • [SOUND OF A CAR SCREECHING TO A HALT AND THEN CRASHING]

  • I feel much better about doing the paintings I do by using other references

  • so it's not so insular--

  • it's not so personal.

  • They're also helping me figure out

  • the things that I can't communicate yet to myself.

  • The one painting I did with the wavy fox in that cage,

  • that's fucking me, you know!?

  • That's how I felt.

  • I didn't realize it then.

  • I think they're all extensions of me

  • or self-portraits in some way--

  • or at least an attitude that I have.

  • Those are things you can't necessarily put into words.

  • And, like, having a really rough childhood...

  • And, I also have a twin,

  • so it was really hard for me to talk to other people.

  • I would just talk to my twin, and that would be it, you know?

  • And, like, I didn't need any friends.

  • And I didn't really have any friends growing up, you know?

  • Like, maybe two?

  • One of them was my sibling.

  • Uh, doesn't really count.

  • I think because of that, I have a hard time communicating with people,

  • or, like, connecting with people.

  • Having to, like, basically just rely on myself.

  • It's like, if I don't take care of myself, no one else will.

  • I have this obsessive relationship with my work and the way I work

  • because it's kind of like my friend.

  • It's like the thing that validates me--makes me feel good.

  • I care about it and they care about me.

  • It's why I put the things that I collect--and really, really love--

  • in my paintings, you know?

  • Like, they're almost company, in a sense.

[REGGAE MUSIC PLAYS]

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