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I was a weird kid, and I wanted the popular girls to accept me into their group,
and I thought having a screen name like this
would trick them into thinking I was one of them.
When I was 13, John Cena was my favorite wrestler,
and he called his fans "The Chain Gang"
and me being 13 at the time, had to add a 69 at the end.
(laughing) (beep)
I mean what else can you expect from a person
who wears her name in hoop earrings?
Cause I'm Cuban, and proud.
Fresh out of the Quinceañera stage.
So I chose HairyJ69, when I was 18 and in college
because I'm hairy, extremely hairy, I'm Jewish,
and I like to 69.
I chose this screen name,
because I wanted to live in California.
I thought that's where all the pretty
and popular people lived.
Clearly I wasn't much of a speller.
This is genius all right, when you're scanning your friends list,
you wonder who's on,
and then when you see that I'm on,
you're like, "hey, Ryan in on."
I added the X because I forgot my password.
I'm pretty proud of it actually.
[Voiceover] That never occurred to you Ryan is on "X" ?
Oh (beep) (laughs) No that never occurred to me.
Oh my god.
You threw me off, man I'm like...
(laughs)
You ruined it, (beep).
I chose this name when I was about 13 years old.
Stay hooded, because I thought I would stay ghetto.
Brat is because I was spoiled.
And 0131 because I'm an Aquarius.
Chubbystar, cause I was a little thick growing up
and clearly I'm a (beep) star.
I don't know why I chose 27 actually.
That's my age right now.
Maybe this is all like full circle.
I wasn't very good at girls,
so I thought that maybe being
quirky and slapstick would help.
It didn't.
I was shocked when this was not taken.
It's not ironic enough to be funny.
It's, it's more painful.
I don't know why I thought this was cool
or okay or acceptable in any way.
I thought farts were hilarious as a junior high student and sad part is, I was born in 83, not 87.
Fartlover83 was taken.
So I'm not alone in my loving farts.
So I was 13, I was trying to get girls online,
and I thought I was a Cyber Casanova.
I like to not live with regrets,
I was trying to get chicks on AOL.
I really liked soccer, and I liked the word "dude".
I thought dudette sounded weird.
I didn't wanna have a number, so my dad suggested ii,
cause it means the second.
So my AIM name is technically Soccer Dude the second.
I made up this word and I don't know what it means at all.
I have no idea what I was going for with this.
My AIM name was Blackbarbiegoku367.
Because it combined my four favorite things.
Being black, playing with barbies,
Goku from Dragon Ball Z, and 367 because
that was my crushes locker number.
I'm not ashamed.
(laughs)
(beep). (laughs)
(beep) You know what, I'm a little embarrassed.
I'll say it.
I thought it was the king of AIM, but,
(beep).
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People Explain Their Childhood AIM Names

68900 Folder Collection
大燿 published on October 4, 2017    Yvonne translated    Steven reviewed
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