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  • Question: Dear Ajahn, when it comes to letting go, how do you ask people who think you owe them a

  • duty to make them happy to let you go? This would mainly be a personal relative since

  • one can more easily tell an outsider to go away. How does one apply loving kindness to

  • solve this, how to find enough loving kindness to do it? So somebody else think you owe them

  • a duty to make them happy? I don't know where that really comes from, sometimes kids think

  • their parents have a duty to make them happy and look after them...up to a certain time,

  • but remember I compare human beings to birds. We're supposed to be a high level of being.

  • When it comes to raising children, you cannot beat the birds because the birds will look

  • after their kids, they'll sit on the eggs first of all. And if ever you've got a sore

  • bottom sitting meditation, think of those poor birds. [laughs] Hour after hour after

  • hour after hour, and as soon as those chicks are hatched, they feed and feed and feed them

  • all day and they always want more food. It's not like your kids, sometimes they sleep,

  • sometimes they've had enough. But birds have got their beak open always asking for more.

  • and then the birds teach their young how to fly. When I did 6 months solitary retreat,

  • I used to watch a pair of eagles who were nesting and you saw them take their kid, their

  • baby after their first flight, which is really, really cute to watch that. When you're on

  • retreat for 6 months you can actually watch nature, become so sensitive and see a pair

  • of eagles raise their young. And after that, once a bird can fly, what do mum and dad do?

  • They're off! They kick the bird out the nest. The son and daughter, they just go. You're

  • out of here, mate. Now wouldn't that be wonderful if parents could do that. Cos all you owe

  • them is just bringing them up, looking after them, caring for them but the point is, I like

  • to impress upon parents, they're not _your_ kids. These are beings who come into your

  • life, where they come from you don't know and what previous birth or previous realm

  • and now they're here in your life and you look after them, care for them, and you really

  • sacrifice a lot, you get a lot of fun out of that. You always know they are not yours.

  • Later on they will go into their own careers, their own life, go and get married, live in

  • another country, means bye bye children, that's as it should be. So your job is never to

  • think they are your children, that's a problem. They are just children, you look after them for

  • a while and then you let them go. So you don't owe them, past giving them an education, and

  • getting them started. And please don't leave your inheritance to your kids [laughs] because

  • it is such a stupid thing to do because the kids get very lazy. Maybe give them a little

  • bit of a start but don't give them too much. You give them too much, then they will never

  • appreciate anything and they usually waste it. So just give them enough to get them going

  • and then, okay off you go. And if it's like your partner in life, remember what I always

  • said, I mentioned this earlier, when I do any marriage ceremony, I always look at one

  • person, then the other person, then to say in a marriage, in a relationship, you should

  • never think of yourself, nor should you think of the partner, it's all about us. So if it's a

  • case that you think of yourself and the partner as being different, of course there is duties

  • of owing - I helped you, now you have to help me back. When it's us, your duty is to the

  • partnership, not to one person. It's to us, not me, not him, not her. That makes it a

  • lot different. But if you owe them a duty to make them happy, to let you go, then after

  • a while that, you cannot own anybody, you can't own your children, you can't own your

  • parents, you have to let them go sooner or later. As I've often that's the greatest act

  • of love is to let somebody go. Remember we had a wonderful time together, now is the

  • time you go to Singapore, I go somewhere else, you spend 9 days together, bye, bye [laughs]

  • and that's as it should be, we let each other go. We have not have no more duties than that.

  • When we know what our duties are in life, one of the duties is to let go of things.

  • And you don't owe anything. For example, that sometimes people are very grateful for the

  • teachings and example which I have done and given you and sometimes people say, I owe

  • you Ajahn Brahm. I always remember Ajahn Chah teaching me, cos he helped me so much and

  • I asked him how can I ever repay your debt, the debt I have to you? He said, you can never

  • repay the debt which you owe me except by helping others. So you don't pay it back,

  • you pay it on. If I have helped you, the only way to pay off what you owe me is to give

  • all these teachings and kindness to somebody else. That's why teaching you and teaching

  • people in Malaysia and Australia and all over the world is the way I'm paying off my debt

  • to Ajahn Chah. He helped me, so I help you, now you're in debt to me. [laughs] Now you

  • got to go and help somebody else and then you've paid off your debt to your teacher.

  • That's how owing and letting go happens. It's quite beautiful. See what else we got here.

  • Question: Sorry to ask you to repeat, please elaborate the donkey and the 2 jokes relating to listless.

  • Thank you very much. There's only one durian. Sometimes people are so greedy [laughter]

  • they want two, an extra one. So the old story, donkey, durian stick on the donkey's back,

  • string on the end of a stick, durian on the end of the string. So when the donkey goes

  • after the durian, the durian is always in front of the donkey's mouth and can never

  • catch it. That's why we're always running somewhere, that's what listlessness is

  • we're always running somewhere, always going somewhere, always doing something and

  • we think by going here, going there, we're going to catch something. Get the durian,

  • get satisfaction, happiness or whatever else you're after in life. And you find that the

  • whole meaning of your life is always running after something and you can never catch it.

  • You get close many times. But it's always in front of you, it's within reach but when

  • you go towards it, it disappears. Remember when you were children and you saw a rainbow

  • and you could see where the rainbow was striking the ground, maybe in some field or garden

  • somewhere. You went over to the end of the rainbow and as soon as you approach where

  • the rainbow met the ground, the rainbow moved away from you. You can never catch the foot

  • of the rainbow. In Western culture they always said there's a pot of gold at the end of the

  • rainbow. But of course, you can never catch it, when you go towards it, it moves away

  • from you. That's like so many things in life, that's a durian in front of the donkey. But

  • you find a way of catching of that durian, you just stop, you let go. Now I've told many

  • people in their interviews, don't try to let go. You let go of trying. It's not a funny,

  • it's not a smart aleck statement, it's actually very deep. Don't try to let go, let go of

  • trying which means you stop and then the durian comes towards you. So that's how you stop

  • listlessness. Cos listlessness, restlessness is always wanting something and thinking that

  • moving, scratching will get rid of the itch, but it never does. So after a while, you

  • just stop and then everything which all that movement promised you, comes to you, rather

  • than you chasing it. I used to tell the monks one of my stories that when I was a young

  • monk in Thailand, it was very tough, not only with food but you hardly ever see any tea

  • or coffee or anything like that, except when you were dyeing your robes. Cos to make dye

  • you had to work maybe 24, 36 hours so it was acceptable. If you were dyeing a robe you

  • can have some tea and coffee in the dyeing shed, as much as you like because you got

  • to keep up all night. And one day some of my friends, they were in the dyeing shed,

  • dyeing their robes all night and I happened to wake up a little bit early. The bell went

  • at 3 o'clock in the morning and I was up about 2.45 and I thought if I go to the dyeing shed,

  • I'm sure my friends will give me a cup of tea or coffee. I'm up early enough, there'll

  • be some there, and it will help with my morning meditation. I'll have good meditation

  • that morning. And I thought, no, that's just following your craving, that's not the sort

  • of thing a monk, good monk should do. And before I knew it, I was off walking towards

  • the dyeing shed [laughter], I just couldn't resist. And when I got to... actually half

  • way towards the dyeing shed, I heard the 3 o'clock bell ring and that's important to

  • notice. When I got to the shed a couple of minutes later, it was cleaned up, they'd finished.

  • They'd finished early, so no monks were there, no tea, no coffee but it was all still warm.

  • I thought never mind, so I went into the hall and did my meditation which was quite sleepy.

  • And after meditation was finished those monks they came up to me and said, "Ajahn Brahm

  • where were you at 3am?" I said, "I was out walking along that path." "Oh, we came the

  • other path to bring you a cup of tea." [laughter] They were so kind and I was kind to them.

  • They made a cup of tea for me, they were going to give it to me as I woke up in the early

  • morning. If I had only resisted my craving and defilement [laughter], the tea would have

  • come to me. And that's happened to me so often in life. When I've gone chasing things, I

  • never get it. When I just sat here, it comes to me. It's weird but it's so true. So that's

  • the story, the donkey and the carrot and very much on life. You sit down and things happen,

  • you chase them and you just make more misery for yourself.

  • Question: Anyway [cough]. Dear... ah, is the vegetarian thing.

  • Doesn't Buddhism teach us not to kill living creatures? How do Buddhists

  • defend non-vegetarianism? I was on the retreat in June and when you said, ah, okay, so long

  • as you don't personally do the killing. Isn't that like saying it's ok to murder someone so long

  • as you don't do it personally but hire a hitman? [laughs] Continuing to eat meat supports the meat industry

  • where people kill animals for food and indulge in inhumane practices for profit. Isn't that

  • actually what the Buddha said, you can't order something to be killed. Now if someone offers

  • you without you asking for it, then, that is acceptable, according to Buddhism. And

  • I've already mentioned that first couple of years in Thailand as a young monk, the food

  • was disgusting but one day this Thai woman who'd married an American man, came to visit

  • our monastery, and it turned out this American man had a turkey farm. And it was about 3

  • or 4 days before Christmas and he said to us, he said, oh, you don't eat very much,

  • you're all really thin here and it's Christmas soon, I'm going to give you a turkey for Christmas.

  • He says, I'm going to choose a nice fat one and give it to you. [laughs] And we had to

  • say no cos it was killed especially for the monks, we can't accept it. And you know that

  • really hurt [laughter] but would have hurt the turkey more, so fair enough. But if it's

  • not designed to be killed for you, then, the Buddha said, yes you can eat it because sometimes

  • the monks don't have that luxury to choose their food. And anyway, as I mentioned to

  • people, it's a bit cheeky answer but I like being a bit cheeky sometimes. Have you not

  • heard the saying, you are what you eat? You've heard that before? So a cow eats grass, so

  • a a cow is just grass that's all. So eating a cow is just vegetarian. [laughter] haha

  • Question: I was told that the more we meditate, spirits who needed merits may come to request

  • so we give them some merits. How to pass some merits to them when they are already dead?

  • Exactly, they won't come to you. For those of you who get scared of these things, one

  • of the key stories, this is just an example of many. There was a Thai lady who came, she

  • married a Westerner and came to live in Perth many years ago. And she got divorced from

  • her husband but she had 3 or 4 really good kids and when she got established, she had

  • a mother, her father'd already died. And so she got a visa for her mother to come to Australia

  • to live so that this Thai girl could look after her mother. So the mother came to stay

  • in Perth, she couldn't speak any English but I could speak Thai, so we could talk to each

  • other. But one day she got every sick, she's already quite old, so the daughter put her

  • in hospital and then she came and told me the strange story. She did not know whether her

  • mother was going to survive this illness or not. So she went to one of these spirit doctors,

  • these mediums. It didn't cost that much, only A$20. There's quite a famous medium in Perth

  • and the medium said, give me the name of the hospital, the ward and the room and then I

  • could just leave my body, go into astral body and then I can check on your mum to see whether

  • this is going to be the last illness or whether she would survive. So, good deal. She gave

  • the A$20 to this medium and the medium went into a trance. She went unconscious and about

  • 5, 10 minutes later, she came out of trance and the first thing she did was give the A$20

  • note back to the Thai girl. And the Thai girl said, "What 're you doing?" He said, "Look,

  • I found the hospital, I found the ward and I found the room in which your mother was

  • but I couldn't get inside." This is how the medium described it. There's a force field

  • around your mother. A really incredible force field, I'd never seen that before, I couldn't

  • get in. That's why I'm giving the A$20 back. I'm sorry, I just can't get in there. Who

  • is your mum?" And she said she's a Buddhist nun keeping 8 precepts for the last 20 years.

  • And when the daughter said that, she was like a meichee keeping 8 precepts for such a long time,

  • the medium took the A$20 back. You should have told me to begin with, you 've been wasting

  • my time. [laughter] People like me cannot get close to people like that. Now that's

  • one example of many. Spirits or anybody who leaves their body like that, yes they do come

  • across a person who's keeping good virtue or meditating, how they see you is this big

  • force field around you. They just can't get close, they can't get in. That's how they'd

  • see you. And for a monk they can't even get in the gate, there's this huge force around.

  • That's how they perceive these things. I like telling that because it makes you feel very

  • safe. As long as you're keeping precepts, at least 5 precepts, you're pretty protected

  • from these lower beings, they just can't get at you. But if you break your virtue and you

  • got some chinks in your armour, then maybe they can get in. But anyone who keeps 5 precepts,

  • really well, who's kind, compassionate especially those who meditate, you don't realise the

  • power you have, far, far greater than spirits, so you don't have to worry about them at all.

  • As I've said, they're afraid of you, they can't get close. Another story, there was

  • another medium who I used to know and she once brought an Aboriginal elder to Bodhinyana

  • Monastery, you know these indigenous who's very spiritual and very sensitive and she

  • came to see me and chatted a little while about many things, and then afterwards she

  • told me that the Aboriginal elder's in the car outside the monastery. I said, why didn't

  • you bring him in? She said because as we're going in, the Aboriginal elder said stop - I

  • can't get in this place. It's too powerful for me. I can't get through the gate. He was

  • that sensitive, he realised how much power is in that place. And I scolded that girl,

  • that medium, I said - look all you needed to do was to ask my permission and he could have

  • gone in easily. And this is like psychic stuff, this is actually how it happens. So you are

  • perfectly, absolutely safe in here. Those spirits couldn't come near this place. So

  • anyway, so no worries at all.

  • Question: Dear Venerable, how can I maintain and improve my mindfulness practice

  • after I leave the Jhana Grove retreat? The best thing to do is don't leave. [laughter]

  • But just in general sometimes it is hard because you are very busy and you don't have the same

  • support as you have here where everybody is doing the same thing, everybody is meditating.

  • Some a lot, some not so much. And even though that many of you are talking, it's not quite

  • as much talking as you do back home. So at least you've lessened that which is good.

  • You could do better. [chuckles] But when you get back home you just haven't got the support,

  • you haven't got like a monk giving you a talk every morning and every evening and just talking

  • about dhamma all the time, so without that support it's very difficult. Nevertheless,

  • you can still hang out with other Buddhists, like in the Buddhist Fellowship or the BGF

  • or whatever other group you belong to. It's good to associate always with good people

  • because they do uplift you and to meditate as much as possible. Now it's so easy, you

  • can listen to all these talks on YouTube which is a wonderful thing to do. Cos that keeps

  • reminding you of what you should be doing and that supports you, which means that when

  • you get back home, your mindfulness will never get as strong as it is on a retreat but it

  • can still be reasonably good to protect and look after your practice. When there is a next

  • retreat on, join up and come and go and come on the retreat. It's like you keep the pot

  • warm when you're out there in the work force, you can't really bring it to the boil. Bu when you

  • come on a retreat you can really get into it and bring it to the boil pretty quickly.

  • And of course the more you meditate and keep mindfulness going in your workplace, it means

  • when you do come on a retreat, you don't have to start from scratch, you can get into it very

  • quickly because you've been practising beforehand. So that's how we do things and

  • it works pretty well.

  • Question: If we are doing present moment awareness and shouldn't we be paying

  • attention to whatever is happening around us, including all the sounds we hear? At first,

  • yes. So the present moment awareness is whatever is happening right now, and then after present

  • moment awareness, you just get silent so you don't make a comment about it. You know these

  • people whatever you think or whatever you read, they've always got a comment about everything.

  • You know you talk about Buddhism, they got a comment about Buddhism, even if they are

  • Christian. You talk about politics, they got a comment about Obama even they've never heard

  • a talk of his. People always want to give comments about things. Isn't it wonderful

  • that there are some people who're just silent? They don't need to comment, that's the person who

  • knows the beauty of silence. And as the Buddha said, if you don't speak very much, in other

  • words, you are mostly silent, that means when you do speak, your words are so valuable that

  • people listen to you. If you think in life people don't listen to you, that's because

  • you speak too much. That's why people don't listen to me [laughter], look how much I speak.

  • And that beautiful saying of the Buddha, it is small streams make all the noise, big rivers flow silently.

  • So you got a choice what you want to be - a big river or a small little stream, which

  • makes the most noise? Another thing you've noticed, little dogs make lots of noise, big dogs are

  • usually quite quiet. So are you a big one or a little one? [chuckles] So when you're in the present

  • moment, that's first of all, then you get silent and then you start focussing on something

  • like the breath and leaving all the sounds outside, so you get your mindfulness up first

  • of all with present moment awareness and silence and then you focus on something like the breath

  • and at *that* point you stop concerning yourself with sounds outside or feelings, or other

  • stuff. You're just starting to focus on something, to simplify the mind, so instead of having

  • so many things to deal with, just one simple thing, like the breath, going in and going out.

  • Question: Help! sudden feeling of listless again, anxiousness, feeling totally lost and losing

  • my sanity. I quickly leave the place, I'm in solitude in the room. Shall I go to an

  • open area? Meditate and what else should I do, I want to get out of? Thank you, this

  • get out of this feeling. Thank you. When you want to get out of that feeling, that's what

  • drives you crazy. Be there. Is going crazy against any of the 8 precepts? So I give you

  • permission to go crazy. [laughs] Be free, be crazy like Ajahn Brahm. Sadhu, sadhu, sadhu,

  • I'm cra...[chuckles] What I'm saying there is, usually if you try and stop these things,

  • that's where the problems come. Please, always remember, I'm saying it again, monster in

  • the emperor's palace. You're listless, you're anxious, losing your sanity, welcome, insanity.

  • Thank you for coming to visit me. It's been years since I've been insane. And of course

  • if you welcome it like that, the sanity returns to you. All insanity is to try and control

  • things which are beyond your power, doing things which you just can't do, that's insanity.

  • What sanity is, is letting things be. Nothing to do with you, it's not your business. You're

  • only visiting your mind, you don't own it. So who the heck is insane anyway? So that

  • way, you won't need to be afraid. It's the fear which creates the problems. I haven't

  • said much about fear, but, it's so deeply ingrained in us. We're afraid of so much stuff.

  • We're afraid of going out of our comfort zone, eating food we never ate before, sleeping

  • in places we never slept before, or most importantly going to places in meditation where you've

  • never been before. It's very scary but you should be like adventurous. Remember when

  • you were young, you were really adventurous, you'd always be willing to try new things.

  • Just for the heck of it. Why have you lost that? Cos sometimes we're afraid that we'll get

  • hurt. Please, it doesn't really matter. It's more important that you discover new things,

  • especially in meditation. Be courageous, be adventurous because those sorts of people, they can get

  • a nimitta very easily, they can go right inside it, cos they're not afraid. I told this, I

  • think here to somebody in an interview in a retreat, I think it was a retreat done

  • in Genting Highlands. Somebody said they'd heard my teachings a lot. I told them you

  • have to let go and I gave them the simile, that sometimes it's like driving along the

  • highway and I ask you to take your hands off the steering wheel, the feet off the pedals.

  • Could you do that? That's what it's like, letting go to get into deep meditation. People

  • think they will crash but you don't. And this person had an even more extreme dream. They were

  • in a car sitting next to me, going over a cliff. And at the end of the cliff there was

  • a road but it turned to the right really quickly and I was telling them - just let go. I'm

  • going over a cliff!! Let gooo and they did let go in their dream. They went right down

  • the cliff and they let go of the steering wheel and the car turned the corner perfectly

  • all by itself. See...[laughs] It's one of those great dreams they had, which was brilliant.

  • See, they were just telling this is how it really happens in meditation. You don't need

  • to be afraid. Have some trust, just let go and everything goes well. So all the anxiousness,

  • sometimes we get into this habit of anxiousness. As soon as you're anxious, you know, it just

  • grabs on to you and just you get more and more anxious and anxious cos one of the other

  • reasons why fear comes to us is because we like to be afraid. How many of you were really

  • afraid of the ghost story last night? But you love being in here, you like getting afraid.

  • [chuckle] That's why you go to watch these movies which make you really afraid, or I

  • have obviously done, go to these amusement parks but I've seen pictures of these rides

  • which turn you upside down or you go into death drops falling as if to your death and

  • saved at the last moment, or somebody, this is an article I read in the paper, it

  • was like a zombie castle, you know, like the old ghost rides I used to have as a kid. You

  • go into this and all these people dressed as zombies come and catch you and try

  • and touch you, it's all dark and it's apparently really scary. And this journalist, an Australian

  • went to one of these zombie castles, said it was the most scary thing she did but it was

  • really good value for his money. [laughter] Cos people like that sort of stuff. That is

  • why sometimes we like to be afraid because it gives us a feeling of purpose and existence

  • rather than just being still as if we don't exist at all. So eventually anxiety just totally

  • vanishes when you meditate. You can let go so much, who cares what happens? Instead of

  • being anxious which is always thinking about what would go wrong in the future, we don't

  • even think about the future at all. And if you do think of the future, you are don't

  • worry, you are hopey. That word which I invented. So hopey is the opposite of being anxious,

  • anxious is looking into the future, thinking of all the things which could go wrong, hopey

  • is looking into the future and thinking all of the things which might go right. That's

  • called hopey. So my advice, don't worry be hopey. [chuckles] So that's actually what

  • happens. So what else should I do? You can meditate, just let go and welcome every emotion

  • which ever comes into you. It comes, it goes, it will pass.

  • Question: Surely the writer of this Disney classic tune was a Buddhist. "Don't spend your time

  • looking around you for something you want that can't be found.

  • When you find out, you can live without it and go along

  • not thinking about it. And I'll tell you something true - the bare necessities of life will come

  • to you." Bare necessities, the bare necessities tune, how does that go? Any one wants to try it?

  • Don't ask me to sing because I am too compassionate to impose my singing on anybody.[laughs]

  • Anyway that's pretty good. Don't spend your time looking around you for something you

  • want that can't be found - nimittas, jhanas, happiness, whatever. When you find out you

  • can live without it, and go along not thinking about it and I'll tell you something true,

  • the bare necessities of life, nimittas and jhanas, will come to you. When you don't go

  • looking for it it comes to you. Very wise, Mr. Disney. Actually, I collect all these

  • weird stories but I like weird stories. Someone gave us a newspaper on Tuesday and

  • I was really, really, really disappointed, cos they'd taken out the comics. I sort of

  • read the newspapers for, for the comics. [chuckles] and not your Disney comics but because I'm

  • English, you know the angmo, they're always really eccentric, you know, with the home

  • of eccentrics over in England, that's well known. And in England they have a Walt Disney

  • Society, people who are addicted to Walt Disney characters and cartoons they meet together

  • and they discuss you know, Goofy or Road Runner or whoever else is there. And there were a

  • couple of these, I think it was the President of the Walt Disney Society to show how much

  • he was addicted to this part of Western culture. He actually changed his name by deed poll to

  • Mickey Mouse [laughter]. That was his name on the passport, you'd see Mouse [laughter],

  • first name - Mickey. He must have had great fun going into places like Singapore at the

  • airport. What's your name sir? Mickey Mouse [laughter] He must be interrogated. But that

  • was true, that was his name. But in the society, coincidences happen. He met this girl,

  • who was also addicted, yes. [laughter] She had changed her name to Minnie Mouse and the

  • inevitable happened. They fell in love and they got married in a church in England [laughter]

  • and this poor preacher, [laughs] I really felt so sorry for him, had to say in public - Will

  • you, Mickey Mouse marry this girl, Minnie Mouse !? [laughter] I don't know how any priest

  • could ever say that without falling down laughing. [laughter] And it happened, Mickey and Minnie

  • Mouse married. [laugher]. Anyway, how did I get on to this?

  • Question: There is a part of the grounds with the sign "Monks's meditation area. No entry". Is it really forbidden

  • to enter that area? If you enter that area, baaaad things will happen to you.

  • The last person who entered that area never came out, [laughter] except much later. Now, that's just, like

  • any monastery, we get many visitors and sometimes, it's okay you know me I know you, sometimes

  • people haven't got a clue what monks are and sometimes you really think, it's not Bodhinyana

  • Monastery but Bodhinyana Zoo [laughter]. That's what you feel like as a monk. [laughs] They

  • come and sort of poke you, take a photograph of you and just like in a zoo they give you

  • some food and people come to see the daily feeding ceremony in Bodhinyana Zoo [laughter]

  • and sometimes we get a new monk there, maybe from Sri Lanka, so all these Sri Lankans come

  • and see - Oh that's a new animal in the zoo. [laughter] It always feels like some...so

  • to get some privacy, we have this central area, anyone can walk around the central area

  • which includes the main hall, the lakes, the kitchen and get himself a cup of tea, where

  • the monks hang out, no please, stay away, cos that's our area, where we can meditate. So that's

  • the reason why because the zoo stops there. [laughter] Monks. But on Kathina day and usually

  • another day at the end of the Rains Retreat, you can go wherever you want to have a look around. [laughs]

  • Question: Wisdom will come with meditation. How would we know? If you ask that question,

  • you don't know. [laughter] If you don't ask that question, then you are wise.

  • Hehehe, I'll give a talk on insight tomorrow morning.

  • Question: If people are easily satisfied, wouldn't there

  • be no technological advancement and economic growth? Yes, but there'll be no climate change,

  • there'll be no Chernobyls and Fukushimas, there'll be no waste grounds, there'll be

  • no people which are just struggling to get a fair share of the economic pie. There'll

  • be no people starving, there'll be no people fighting wars. Wouldn't it be a wonderful world

  • if people were easily satisfied? That means you wouldn't have to go to work and work so hard.

  • How much do you need? Even like your house, your apartment, how many rooms? Even in Singapore

  • it's a very cramped country, how many rooms do you have in your house? How many rooms

  • can you sleep in, in one time? So even in there, the small houses but you can do smaller.

  • If you want to see the smaller house, see my cave. Look at some of the houses here in

  • Perth, they are monstrous houses. I don't know why people, why people do that is because

  • everyone else has got a big house. When you've got a big house, someone else wants a bigger

  • one. What do you need that for? Priya, your house is huge, it's only you and your mum

  • in there, and your dogs of course. But it's a big house you've got there and it's because

  • it's an average, good looking house in Melbourne. But sometimes you think, wouldn't it be wonderful

  • to downsize? Have a simple house, simpler to look after. The only reason people have

  • big houses is to impress others, that's all. You know that story, I don't know if I've

  • told it here yet. I probably did, about the woman in England, the one who won the lottery,

  • GBP 42 million. She sold her house one year later and she bought a big mansion with her

  • lottery win, bought a big mansion, sold it one year later because she said, in that big

  • house she could never find her children or her husband. It was such a huge house, the kids

  • were in the West Wing, the husband was in the South Wing, someone else was in the East

  • Wing and she was in the other wing and they never saw each other, which is why it was

  • breaking up the family. Big houses or mansions are bereft of love because you don't see each

  • other, you don't meet each other. I know where I grew up, a very small apartment because

  • my father was very poor, sick most of his life. We were sharing a room, always bumping

  • in, you couldn't escape from anybody. So you didn't have any privacy but my goodness, you

  • learnt how to love each other. There was no escape, you had to. And how many of you with a house

  • with five or six siblings, all in the same room, sometimes in the same bed.

  • And you had a wonderful time. You loved each other to bits. [No - voice from the audience] No! Hahaha!!

  • [laughter] It's the exception which proves the rule. But a lot of time people learn how

  • to get on with each other cos they've got no choice. And these days people just cannot

  • get along with each other. So I think easily satisfied if you look upon it, yeah, there'll

  • be no technological advancements and economic growth but there'll be much more happiness and peace, and less wars in the world.

  • Question: Are people who discover scientific breakthroughs

  • and leaders who continue to improve the economic conditions of their people aren't happy people

  • unless they're striving better purely for the benefit of others. Does material progress

  • necessarily result in spiritual decline? It does if it's just for the sake of material

  • progress. How much do you really need? How many clothes do you need? How many shoes do

  • you need? You've only got 2 feet. So you can see, it does create a lot of waste in our

  • economy, it does use so many resources and you know, what's going to happen in this world

  • too. We're going to run out. We're going to use all the energy up. Whatever we're using

  • up, is already creating problems with the environment. So, it should be a balance. Material

  • progress is okay but it should not be at the expense of world happiness. So that's my idea.

  • Question: Dear Ajahn Brahm, please explain exactly how to do loving kindness to your pain, physical.

  • Many people die young, why is that? Ah, sometimes it's because their karma runs out, some people,

  • they say that if you've been kind and caring especially to people and animals, you've looked

  • after them, nurses, doctors, vets or something, then you live a long life in the next life

  • because you've helped other people live long lives. But if you shorten people's lives,

  • like being butcher or soldier or something, then because you shorten other people's life,

  • the next life you have a short life. Sort of like a karmic reason why people have short

  • lives, why they die young. But how to do loving kindness to your pain, is the loving kindness

  • I was saying this morning is to open the door of your heart to it. Don't reject it.

  • And when you, I always remember this, one of the stories again and again, when I was

  • young, grew up in the suburb of Acton that's just where you grew up but I was, never realised

  • that all the kids who went to school were mostly migrants or Afros. Now there is only

  • like a few, sort of indigenous English, [laughs] like me. And it was a migrant suburb, cos

  • it was very poor. I never realised that until later on, cos that's where you grew up, that's

  • what you know, you don't realise there's anything else. So was a very poor neighbourhood and

  • you sort of spend a lot of your time just playing soccer in the streets. So whenever

  • you, if ever you played soccer or watch soccer, whenever you go for a tackle, you fall over.

  • I was always scraping, I always remember scraping the skin off my knees. I always have scabs

  • on my knees, from scraping and falling over on the asphalt or the stone paving. And

  • as soon as I did that, you know 6, 7 year old kid, you were crying, "Mummy, I've hurt"

  • blood was coming down, you go to your mother, my mother would just kneel down and she would

  • kiss it, "Better" she said. "I kiss it better." and as soon as she did that, the pain always

  • disappeared. And I then went off to play football again. Didn't even put a bandage on it, just

  • kissed it better and off I went. And I always remember that, cos I didn't know anything

  • about science at that time. It just happened and I realised now that putting an open mouth

  • with all those germs on an open wound, how on earth did that get better? It was just

  • the kindness, the love, that's what took the pain away. And you may remember, you may have

  • been in great pain or difficulty and your mother or somebody you loved very much, came

  • to your bedside and stroked your hair when you're very young, straightaway, with that

  • tiny bit of kindness, you felt so much better, maybe the pain disappeared, especially the

  • fear and you went into a nice deep sleep. Kindness is one of the greatest anaesthetics,

  • it takes away the pain and the fear. That's why if you can do the very same thing to pain

  • in your body, literally kiss it better and be kind to it, it tends to vanish and disappear,

  • just like when I was a kid.

  • Question: Anyway, while I appreciate the constant and controllable

  • indoor environment for meditation, I also like the idea of outdoor meditation, close

  • to nature. Please comment on indoor versus outdoor meditation. Appreciate any tips you

  • may have for successful outdoor meditation. Always people who live in the cities say "Oh

  • it's so nice to get close to nature." People who actually live close to nature, like us,

  • we live in a forest, we really enjoy going into the city, where there are no mosquitoes,

  • there are no flies, there are no bugs on the floor, there are no bushfires, there's no...oh, everything

  • is so convenient! Why do you think people built cities? To escape from the dangers of

  • nature, that's why. So sometimes, it's only people who live in the city think "Oh,

  • it'd be so nice to go out into the forest and live into the forest", you try that. There's

  • bugs everywhere and if you haven't seen them yet, just go for a walk in our forest, you

  • know, already the flies are coming out. They go up your nose, up one nose, one nose down,

  • [laughs] the other nose. [laughter] They're just interested that's all. They want to explore

  • [laughter] And it's hot, sometimes it's too hot, sometimes it's too cold. It reminds me

  • of that story of... it's in Opening the Door of Your Heart. Remember that story of the

  • fish in the aquarium? These two monks who were visiting a person's house. One of them

  • said "It's cruel, it's unfair for Buddhists to put fish in an aquarium. It's like putting

  • them in a prison. What have those fish done to be put in an aquarium in somebody's house?

  • All it can do is swim this way and that way and this way and that way. Really boring."

  • You try doing walking meditation in that room all day then you know what it feels like to

  • be a fish in an aquarium. [laughter] But the other monk said, "No you don't understand,

  • cos fish in an aquarium, they are safe from so many dangers. In an aquarium in someone's

  • house they're safe from fishermen. You never find a person dropping a line into someone's

  • aquarium. [laughs] That's number one. Number two, they are protected from bigger fish.

  • Cos big fish eat small fish. You never put big fish and small fish in the same aquarium.

  • So they'd have no danger from being beaten up or eaten by big fish. Number three, it's

  • got nice temperature. Cos you know, sometimes in nature it gets very cold and actually in

  • some places, the streams freeze over, in other places there's a drought, there's not enough

  • water at all. In an aquarium, it's like being in an air-conditioned climate controlled room.

  • And also in an aquarium, you don't need to worry about food. You'd get takeaways, actually

  • delivered to your door everyday. And lastly, in an aquarium, fish get free healthcare.

  • If anything goes wrong, they get one of these experts to come along and fix you up. So yeah

  • it's true that there are, they lose many freedoms to be able to swim wherever they want but

  • they get many benefits as well." So it's like you lose some things by living in the city

  • but you gain many other things as well. You lose many things by staying in nature. You

  • also gain a sense of freedom as well. But that main simile was keeping precepts. If

  • you keep your five precepts, you can't swim where you'd like to swim. You know, commit

  • adultery or take alcohol, which you might like to do but if you're keeping those five precepts

  • you are free from so many dangers and difficulties and pain. So yeah you are constricted like

  • the fish in a tank, you have a life free from danger.

  • Question: Anyway, there are 2 dead ponds in the garden.

  • Suggest we bring some life there by putting in some fishes, the lucky ones have the chance

  • to enjoy Jhana Grove. There are fishes in the pond! But they're sitting in meditation, they're

  • in jhana. [laughter] They're so still you can't see them!

  • They're not dead, they're just meditating. [chuckles]

  • Question: Really sincere gratitude to you for your wonderful teachings.

  • No words can really do justice to how I feel. So, how have your written so much? [laughter]

  • Question: Anyway, 2 questions: Yesterday when I was meditating using the breath meditation,

  • breathing in peace, breathing out letting go, after a while I really felt the peace,

  • but.. Why do you write but in the questions? [laughter] The question was going so nicely

  • and then, but....[laughter] but there was a strange tingling sensation at the top of

  • the head, that grew and grew in a straight line upwards, not sure what it is, am I imagining

  • things? No you're just tingling that's all. [laughter] Let it happen and see what happens next. It

  • usually just disappears. When you get deep meditation, you have some really interesting

  • experiences, they're really weird. But I like weird experiences cos life is boring

  • having the same old experience, like I have in Singapore, day in day out. Having some

  • weird stuff like tingling going out of your head, wow, having like rays coming out of

  • your ears, seeshhhh! [laughter] isn't that cool? So any weird stuff enjoy it cos otherwise

  • you get so bored. So it's just nature.

  • Question: I really like this retreat, nothing to change at all.

  • Food, room, cushions, forest walks, everything is wonderful. There's no but, amazing. [laughter]

  • So the question is: is this the only session open to Buddhist Fellowship Singapore members

  • or can't I sign up for other retreats for the rest of the year? Thank you. Yeah, of

  • course you can. The thing is that the other retreats is so hard to get on, or is it, Dania,

  • the November retreat, and when it was opened up, cos we have a time, 6pm or whatever time

  • it was, it's opened up on the internet and 150 people were on it exactly the same time?

  • [Dania replied in the background] 7 minutes, that took time because about 150 people online

  • at the same time trying to do all of the right things. And the ones which were slow just

  • didn't get on. So you have to be very quick, bolololoo! [laughter] So if you want to get on a retreat,

  • please train, train on the computer, be really fast and then maybe you can get on. [laughter]

  • So the BF retreat is much easier for you to get on, simply because there's not that many

  • people go on this retreat. It's just for the BF, no one else but I get a few other people

  • who can get in, but mostly for the Buddhist Fellowship, so you know, it's your retreat,

  • so it's much easier. But of course, you're most welcome to try for the other ones.

  • Question: Mark? Heath? Brahmali? D Cut, check Shirley. This one here. You bamboozle me,

  • that's the deepest question I've ever had. [laughter]

  • Wow, does anyone know what those mean?

  • I think someone got a note for someone who just got dropped it into the box by mistake.

  • What's this mean? That is the most profound question I've ever got. [laughs] There's Mark,

  • Shirley, Brahmali, haha!

  • Question: Anyway, Dear Bhante, please explain awareness and mindfulness I

  • have a problem explaining the meaning of mindfulness to others. Thank you. Again, I like the term,

  • mindfulness being in the present moment and being silent. If you're not in the present moment,

  • if you're off in the future or the past, you're not here, you're not aware, you're not in

  • this moment, you're in fantasy land, dream land, I've been saying to a lot of people,

  • even the past is fantasy. Cos what you think happened is not what happened, you're choosing,

  • picking and deleting things which you don't like. So it is just the same as making up

  • some dream or fantasy realm. What you think happened is not what happened. Just like the

  • future, you know what you imagine it to be, hardly ever happens. So that's why, it's a

  • total waste of time. So, first of all you have to be in the present moment and instead

  • of talking at life, you're actually being here. This is actually, I mentioned that looney

  • cartoon on the first day about these 2 people watching a TV set of a sunset and just outside

  • the window was a real sunset. Thinking is like looking at the words, mindfulness is

  • looking at the sunset without any words. That's what awareness is, that's what mindfulness

  • is. There are 2 things, are the same. Dicker dee.....

  • Question: Dear your roundness, what have you

  • been asked to do during the 7 days by the person who had to win the auction? Yes, that

  • was actually raising funds for our nuns monastery, trying all different ways to squeeze the lemon

  • [laughs] and so we're having all these auctions. Because the first fund raiser we did, I think

  • was in Hong Kong, they took my meditation cushion, I've been sitting on that for years

  • and it was really nice and soft and warm. It was just, you know, just moulded to my bottom,

  • just nice, and they went and auctioned it in Hong Kong. [laughs] The problem was, I

  • think they got about AUD30,000 or AUD40,000 or AUD50,000? Huge amount. What that meant

  • is now when I leave my cave, I have to put my meditation cushion in a safe [laughter]

  • and get it insured. [laughter] It's worth too much, [laughs] not quite. I'm only joking.

  • But then we had all these other auctions and this one lady was going into my cave, I'll

  • take that, I'll take that, and all my stuff was gone missing. [laughter] And one weekend,

  • this is absolutely true story. One weekend, I was teaching over in Perth and this lady

  • went into my cave to see what else we can auction of Ajahn Brahm and she took my blanket.

  • [laughter] When I came back, I was so tired, I didn't realise it was gone. In the middle

  • of the night I woke up it was so cold, where's my blanket? [laughter] It's gone, it'd been auctioned.

  • [laughter] So I got paranoid about that woman. [laughter] So, but what we did it then auctioning

  • all this stuff, so why not everything? My body, my mind doesn't belong to me, my robe,

  • that went too. [laughs] So why not auction me, same as my robe, my cushion doesn't belong

  • to me, so might as well auction it, by auctioning me, to the highest bidder. Ajahn Brahm for

  • sale and finally it was auctioned. An Indonesian man got me. The whole deal was you can take

  • Ajahn Brahm for 7 days, do whatever you want but you must return him in the same condition

  • [laughter] you got him. So this Indonesian guy, he's organised a tour with his friends

  • to Bhutan. So he's taking me to Bhutan for 7 days. Now you may like that but look, quite honestly,

  • I don't like travelling around and touring around. What's the point? You want to see

  • a mountain? We've got a hill here. [laughter] What's the difference? If you want to see

  • a waterfall, want to see Niagara Falls or Victoria Falls, you want to see a waterfall,

  • turn on the shower! Water fall is the same. [laughter] Great Wall of China, look at our,

  • we've got a wall in our monastery. That's big enough. [laughter] Why do you want to

  • go to this place for? Rainforest? It rains here, you've got a forest, the same thing [laughter]

  • I don't know why people want travelling all over the world, it's all here. So basically,

  • that I'm probably going to get bored stiff. Just, you know, here we go, another mountain, yeah,

  • seen that before, what's the big deal? Anyway, it's to raise funds. I've made by promises

  • so I keep my promises, so I'll be going to Bhutan, for 7 days.

  • ?Question: Sheena 94510 [laughter] Haha!

  • Question: Is it helpful to find a purpose in life to help give us meaning and joy in life and help

  • us abandon defilements? Yeah, purpose in life is okay but as long as it's a right purpose and

  • it's a purpose which is achievable. So I remember my purpose in life before I got, one of the

  • purposes in life, I got, when I went on a retreat with another monk and during the interview

  • period, I was just sitting down being the attendant, getting really bored, cos you all

  • ask the same questions again and again and again. And if anyone ask me, Ajahn Brahm,

  • why do you keep telling the same stories and the same jokes, it is because you keep

  • asking the same questions. [laughter] So anyway, I was just getting bored and then this woman

  • came in, to the interview room and instead of asking a question on meditation or about

  • her family or the kids or her health or the economy, blaa, blaa, she said, I've come in

  • here to say, Thank you for saving my life, and it was said with such sincerity, I just

  • woke up. Ah, this is interesting, what's gone on? And the story was, this monk was giving

  • a retreat in the fishing village of Oban in North West Scotland which is a very peaceful,

  • beautiful, quiet town. And he'd done his retreat the year before when this woman had come and

  • they were keeping 8 precepts. And it wasn't explained very well to this girl. She thought

  • you couldn't have any drugs at all. And ever since she was a young teenager, she had some

  • little problem and the doctor had prescribed valium and she'd become addicted to valium.

  • When she went on this retreat, she heard 8 precepts, no alcohol or drugs, oh, God. I've

  • got to give up my valium and so she did. It was tough for her but because it was such

  • a peaceful place, so beautiful, and hardly any stress at all, she managed the 9 days.

  • But of course from those experience, I always say "No, if you've got anti-psychotic drugs,

  • please take them, otherwise we'll get people running around naked in Jhana Grove, [laughter]

  • banging on doors with chainsaws. Please take your anti-psychotic... or whatever else you're

  • taking" but she never took her valium for 9 days. After 9 days she realised it was a mistake

  • she could have taken them but she'd done 9 days, she thought why not keep on going without the valium.

  • And the problem was for her, she had to take a bus from Oban to Glasgow and

  • then transfer to the train station to get home. If ever you've been to a big busy train

  • station, like Changi Airport, there's so many people rushing this way and that way. It's

  • a high stressed environment and she said she almost totally lost it, literally went into psychosis

  • from the effects of not taking the valium. But she held herself together, just with the

  • advice of, this too will pass, open the door of your heart, just be kind to the monster.

  • She managed to get on the train to get home. When she got home, she said she spent the

  • next month, this is just the way she described it, the next month just sitting in an armchair

  • not able to do anything, just allowing the effect of those drugs to come out of her

  • system, which they did and she said it was amazing, it was like for years she was living

  • in a cloud, in a mist, she couldn't feel very much, even seeing things, everything was dull,

  • taste, was hardly any taste in the food which she ate. And now she was totally free. So

  • like before, she was dead and now she's been given her life back because of the addiction

  • to that sort of drug. So she said, thank you for giving me those teachings. You saved my

  • life. When I heard that I thought, wow, that's my purpose in life as a monk - to get someone,

  • just one person to come up to me and say, Ajahn Brahm, thank you for saving my life,

  • and mean it. Of course when that first happened, I thought, yep that's it, I've had my purpose

  • in life now. I can relax. But you know, you know me, hundreds of people have now said

  • that and they really meant it. Imagine what that does to you, the joy and happiness you

  • get when you really have made a huge difference to people's lives. Wow that just gives so

  • much happiness inside. Now you know your purpose in life.

  • Question: Is it useful to have a goal, that's

  • right, goal to aspire to? Yeah, again isn't that amazing cos these questions they always come

  • up in pairs, totally different hand writing. It must be like at school, cheating. See what

  • someone else wrote and write the same. [laughter]

  • Question: Dear Ajahn, indeed the most scary stories

  • I've heard from you is no driver bus, not these ghost stories. How can we see the driver's

  • seat through stillness or jhana despite very scary, super scary, I hope one day I have

  • the guts to see by myself. Yeah, those are the anatta, the non-self similes. I always

  • remember going to Singapore to the BF, you know for a couple of years I'd talk about

  • always the same type of stories. Opening the door of your heart, the two bad bricks in

  • the wall, you know, the emperor's 3 questions, people love those ones. But there was one

  • day I was going to a talk, you know, in Singapore, who's the president now, the lawyer,

  • Soon Han, yeah. Soon Han asked me just before I was going to give the talk. He said, "Ajahn

  • Brahm, can't you give a deep talk for once. Really deep talk like you give to the monks."

  • "Okay I'll give a deep talk if you want." So I gave this talk on anatta, non self, including

  • the driverless bus, there's no one there and the thing you call the will does not belong

  • to you at all. It's a total illusion you think you're in control. It's such a powerful talk.

  • The following morning when he picked me up to take me to the airport, he really scolded

  • me. He said, "Ajahn Brahm don't ever do that again.[laughs] I was so afraid, I didn't sleep

  • a wink all night. I was so afraid." [laughs] It's really true, sometimes, you've got to

  • be ready for deep talks like that, otherwise it totally blows your mind. He understood

  • it enough to say most of the things which he assumed he was were totally false. And

  • I blew him away he couldn't sleep all night and he was so scared. So that's actually,

  • you say, it's very perceptive. But what happens is the jhanas, the deep meditations are so

  • happy, so blissful. Yeah you are scared but it's just too much fun. You know it's a joy

  • which overpowers fear. Your mental [?] is giving so much fun, yeah you're losing a lot of stuff,

  • you know, normally you'll not be able to let go that much but its so much fun, you just keep

  • on going deeper into the joy and the bliss, even though much of what you think you are, and

  • own disappears. You can't stop yourself, you just get drawn into the bliss. Certainly

  • afterwards you realise my God what happened. But you enjoyed every moment of it. It is

  • the pitisuka, the joy, the happiness, the bliss, the ecstacy, that is what overpowers all fear.

  • Question: Dear Ajahn, after a great meditation yesterday I had the most glorious dream just

  • before waking up. A departed loved one whom I had not thought about for a while was coming

  • to spend a day with me in the best of conditions. It was unexpected and I was oh so happy and

  • excited. This contrast with the many unpleasant dreams I had the previous 3 nights [chuckles]

  • when another departed loved one whom I've been thinking about disappears the moment

  • I notice her presence, even with regret or longing. On those days my meditation got nowhere.

  • Any connection, which is chicken and which is egg? It's very true, you know, what you

  • dream about is what you take into sleep with you. So if you go into sleep just worrying

  • about something, that's what you'll dream about. Which is one of the reasons why the

  • Buddha said, the very least before you go to sleep, do a bit of loving kindness. May

  • all beings be happy and well, may I be happy and well. May I have beautiful dreams. That bit

  • of loving kindness actually works. You have a very soft and beautiful mind, you have soft

  • and beautiful dreams. But if you really go to bed thinking, why does that person keep

  • banging the door, why do they keep banging the door?? And then you have all these dreams

  • about banging. [laughter] It's just what you're taking into sleep with you, so you had a very

  • good meditation and of course good meditations happens, you have nice dreams afterwards.

  • That's why sometimes people like to do counting meditation before they go to sleep because

  • they are thinking about numbers before they go to sleep, so during the sleep they may

  • see [laughs] No, I'm only joking, don't try and get lottery numbers in your sleep.

  • Question: What makes a stream winner? That's when you've seen there's nobody in here. It just changes your

  • whole way of looking at life.

  • Question: May I ask about near death experiences and Anita Moorjani's

  • book? Can one achieve the same insights, realisations as she had, reconnections that she made with

  • departed loved ones through meditation? What was her reason for her complete healing?

  • You get much more insight and understanding through the meditation. You can go much deeper

  • than where she went and have a greater understanding. It's just the near death experiences are sometimes

  • more common because of the advances of modern medicine and more people actually survive

  • these things, they never did before. So as more people get those experiences, they're

  • totally involuntary and unrepeatable but in meditation, you can keep on repeating as often

  • as you want so you can get more understanding, more experience and therefore more insight

  • from them. That's why the near death experience, we mention these to give you an understanding,

  • yes these things are possible. This is what it's like, it inspires you and gives you a

  • taste of what it's like in deep meditation. Most people only have a near death experience

  • once and the next time it's the real thing. The meditation, you can keep on doing that for

  • a long, long time and still be alive. And meditation goes much deeper, so it is a much

  • better one, doing through it meditation! The last question.

  • Question: One of the 5 precepts, no drinking

  • of alcohol, is social drinking allowed for a Buddhist practitioner? A glass of beer or

  • champagne in a party? Well, you know.... you've got to be sort of moderate, so a little bit

  • of drinking is okay and a little bit of adultery is okay [laughter], a little bit of murder

  • is okay [laughter] As long as it's only social murder [laughs], of course it's not okay.

  • So if you're in a social party, if you really want to, to avoid having beer,

  • have a glass of beer but just hold it in your hand and don't drink it. As long as you're

  • holding one there, then no one fills it up. That's one way of doing it but like my friend

  • who's keeping the 5 precepts, some of these angmos are really, really smart, much smarter

  • than me sometimes. Actually I'm an angmo, aren't I? [laughter] But anyway, this person

  • he was keeping the 5 precepts, he'd just taken them and he went to a social party. When his

  • friends said, "Have a drink!" He said, "No, I can't have a drink anymore. I'm a Buddhist

  • now." And his friend said, "Are you a Buddhist? I know about Buddhism. Buddhism is all about

  • letting go. Come on, let go and have a drink." [laughter] And it did work. So he said he

  • had to have a drink, letting go, but then he had another scheme. He said he managed

  • to solve the problem cos the next party he went to, someone offered him a drink and

  • he refused saying, "I can't drink alcohol because of doctor's orders" and people respect

  • that. They don't want to kill the guy or make him sick. So have an orange juice or a

  • Coca Cola or something or water. So he got out of having to take alcohol because he told

  • people - doctor's orders. When he told me that story, just like many of you who haven't

  • heard this before, I said, "Aren't you keeping one precept by breaking another? [laughter] Now you're

  • lying, there's nothing wrong with you. You're perfectly healthy!" And that's when he reminded

  • me, in the suttas very often the Buddha compared himself to a doctor. So my friend said it

  • was doctor's orders. [laughter] Doctor Buddha's orders. [laughter] And therefore he got away

  • with drinking. And these days you don't have to have social drinks. People actually respect

  • you if you decide not to drink. The last story was of a friend, a business guy over in Sydney,

  • great story. He had a food business and he was trying to get this contract with this business

  • in Taiwan, supposed to be Buddhist business, okay. But some of these businesses are not

  • Buddhist at all, just on the surface. They go to the temple, they shake joss sticks and

  • that's about as far as they go. And, after many emails, phone calls, the Taiwanese business

  • said, "We're going to send a delegation over to Sydney to sign the contract." Going to be

  • worth a lot of money, quite a few million dollars. So they came, they discussed the

  • final details, they said, "Okay, we're ready to sign. But not now, we'll sign later

  • on this evening, after you have supplied us with, (please excuse me,) prostitutes each

  • and taken us to a night club and pay for all the beer and the other alcohol." And this

  • guy, he said, look "I'm a Buddhist. I have a wife, I don't want a prostitute and I'm not going

  • to get you prostitutes either, and I don't drink alcohol." And the business people from

  • Taiwan said, "Look, this is what we want. If you don't give it to us, there's no contract."

  • He had this choice, just give in, just for one night and get this multi-million dollar

  • contract for his own company or keep his precepts and keep the trust of his wife. I'm so proud

  • of him, he said, "No contract. I prefer to keep my precepts. I prefer my wife." So the

  • business people said, "Okay no contract." And he went home. He was so disappointed because

  • you know, businesses need those contracts, he employs many people and that makes him

  • very difficult, not winning the contract, especially when you get so close. He was at home that night,

  • feeling a bit down, late at night he got a telephone call from those businessmen and

  • they said, "We've been discussing you, thinking about this. We'd rather do business with someone

  • who doesn't cheat on his wife because if someone cheats on his wife, he'll probably cheat on

  • us too. We prefer someone who's virtuous and doesn't take alcohol. So because of your

  • high standards we want to come to your house if you're still up to sign the contract."

  • The contract was signed. Cos it doesn't make sense, if you're running a company, who would

  • you like to do business with? Someone who cheats on their wife? Someone who doesn't mind

  • getting drunk and spilling all the secrets of the business? Who would you rather do

  • business with? It was a wonderful true story of how he got that contract, kept his precepts,

  • because it makes so much sense. So social drinking, you don't need to do the social drinking.

  • In fact if you keep sober when all the other people in the other businesses or the

  • people in your office, in your department, your company, after they've taken a few drinks,

  • it's amazing how many secrets they spill, and you are sober enough to remember it all.

  • heeheeheehee [laughs] So you don't need to have social drinks, not these days anyway. It's

  • quite acceptable to be sober. So there we go, those are the questions tonight, so thank

  • you all for listening. There'll be some more questions tomorrow and I did do really well, no ghost stories,

  • no food...oops I shared them again [laughter] Saaaadhu! Saaaaadhuuu!! Saaaaaaaaadhu!!! [chuckles]

Question: Dear Ajahn, when it comes to letting go, how do you ask people who think you owe them a

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