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  • Mr. Fallon: This is amazing, I can't believe this.

  • It's the Fourth of July, I can't believe I'm on the White House

  • lawn, this makes no sense.

  • I came with Uncle Sam, we rode together; you know, the economy,

  • we had to carpool.

  • So he rode with his legs hanging out the window.

  • Wasn't the most comfortable ride, but it was kinda fun.

  • Me, him, and the Foo Fighters all in one car.

  • ♪♪(music playing)♪♪

  • That band's good.

  • They haven't taken any of my requests at all.

  • I don't know, maybe they did -- have they played Lil' Wayne?

  • I'm actually here to perform.

  • I'm gonna do a little stand up and some songs for the President

  • and the First Lady and all these great troops.

  • This is amazing.

  • Honestly, it's one of the -- I'll never forget this

  • Fourth of July, ever.

  • It's pretty -- it's such an honor to be here.

  • I'm so honored.

  • USO set this whole thing up and gave me a call and said,

  • "You wanna do it?"

  • And of course, I'll do anything for the USO and the troops,

  • so I was, like, just honored.

  • This is just so cool.

  • I'm, like, freaking out.

  • I was talking to Brooke, one of the girls from the USO and she's

  • been working with them for 25 years and they've been booking

  • comedians for these events.

  • And I was talking to them, and I said, like,

  • "What other comedians have you booked here at the White House?"

  • And they gave me a list, and it was amazing.

  • And I felt bad that you guys didn't get a chance to see these

  • comedians when they were here, so I'm gonna do an impression of

  • every comedian that was here in the past 25 years.

  • (cheering)

  • Here's a stopwatch, okay?

  • This is a stopwatch, so I'm going to start it now,

  • so every ten seconds, you tell me to change, all right?

  • And then I'll change to the next comedian, okay?

  • All right.

  • Whenever you're ready, sir.

  • There's, like, 1,500 people waiting, sir.

  • Ready?

  • First up, Jerry Seinfeld: Okay, people, okay.

  • Well, look at this place, it's the White House!

  • People coming to the White House!

  • Okay, next up, Bill Cosby: Well, thank you,

  • the comedians sab a dab a talking with the lip a hab and

  • dab and hey.

  • Thank you.

  • Chris Rock: Barack Obama!

  • Barack Obama.

  • People want to hear about the Democratic National Convention.

  • That's right.

  • Thank you.

  • Robin Williams: Oh, thank you very much, thank you, yes,

  • thank you.

  • Yes -- (unintelligible) -- kid going -- (unintelligible) --

  • what the hell's going on there, I don't even know.

  • One, two, three, and kick.

  • Okay.

  • Next up, Norm MacDonald: (unintelligible noises).

  • Okay, now next, Mitch Hedberg: People say -- people say,

  • where do you go if you wanted to laugh?

  • I say, you gotta go to the South Lawn on Fourth of July, 2009.

  • That is ridiculous.

  • Next up, Gilbert Gottfried: What is this?

  • What kind of a place is -- it's not even -- okay, thank you.

  • Next up, oh, let's see, I don't even know how to do --

  • Eddie Murphy: Heh, heh, heh, heh --

  • that's all I do, I don't know how to do him, I'm sorry.

  • Larry the Cable Guy: Well, that's a microphone stand there,

  • that's a guitar there, and that's a, that's a --

  • Git-R-Done!

  • That's it right there, that's it!

  • I don't know.

  • Steven Wright: 25 years.

  • I haven't thought about the White House... in 25 years.

  • And last but not least, Adam Sandler: All right, all right.

  • Thanks a lot.

  • You know, my mother used to come to the White House and she would

  • be like, all the -- she'd be like --

  • (unintelligible noises) -- shut up!

  • (cheering)

  • Thank you!

Mr. Fallon: This is amazing, I can't believe this.

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