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  • - IT'S ALMOST THE END OF THE SCHOOL YEAR.

  • A LOT OF KIDS ARE GRADUATING FROM COLLEGE

  • AND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THEY'RE GONNA DO.

  • I DID NOT GO TO COLLEGE.

  • THAT'S WHY I HAD TO GET DRUNK THE OLD FASHIONED WAY.

  • [laughter]

  • WITH STRANGERS AT A BUS STATION.

  • AND EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T GO TO COLLEGE,

  • I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO GET BY ON MY LOOKS.

  • I MEAN, I AM A COVERGIRL.

  • [cheers and applause]

  • IT REALLY IS GREAT.

  • I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THAT Y'ALL BECOME COVERGIRLS IF YOU CAN,

  • 'CAUSE IT'S REALLY, REALLY FUN.

  • IT'S EASY. I CAN ACTUALLY TEACH YOU HOW.

  • I'VE TAUGHT OTHER PEOPLE.

  • LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO ONE OF MY FORMER STUDENTS.

  • PLEASE WELCOME MY FELLOW COVERGIRL, TAYLOR SWIFT.

  • HI, TAYLOR. - HI.

  • - SO HERE'S WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

  • YOU'RE GONNA HELP ME TEACH PEOPLE

  • HOW TO BECOME A COVERGIRL LIKE I TAUGHT YOU.

  • - OH, YEAH, YEAH, I OWE EVERYTHING TO YOU.

  • - RIGHT. OKAY.

  • SO TELL PEOPLE WHAT YOU WERE DOING

  • BEFORE I SHOWED YOU HOW TO BECOME A COVERGIRL.

  • - GETTING DRUNK WITH STRANGERS AT A BUS STATION.

  • - THAT'S RIGHT.

  • EXACTLY.

  • AND NOW LOOK AT YOU.

  • YOU LOOK AMAZING. - THANK YOU.

  • [cheers and applause]

  • IT'S MY NATURELUXE SILK FOUNDATION.

  • [laughter]

  • - THAT'S THE FIRST RULE IN BEING A GOOD COVERGIRL.

  • ALWAYS SELL YOUR PRODUCT. NOT THAT YOU NEED TO.

  • PEOPLE LOVE THE SMOOTH, SILKY FEEL OF NATURELUXE.

  • - YES, THAT'S RIGHT, ELLEN.

  • WOMEN ARE RAVING ABOUT IT

  • BECAUSE IT'S MADE WITH REAL DIAMONDS AND MAGIC.

  • - THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT. [cheers and applause]

  • OKAY, THE NEXT THING YOU NEED TO KNOW

  • IS HOW TO LOOK LIKE A COVERGIRL.

  • SO, TAYLOR, I'M GONNA HAVE YOU

  • DEMONSTRATE SOME OF THE THINGS THAT I TAUGHT YOU

  • IN ORDER TO BE A COVERGIRL, OKAY?

  • - OKAY. - OKAY.

  • FIRST OF ALL, YOU HAVE TO SQUINT.

  • SO SQUINT.

  • OKAY, SQUINT MORE LIKE YOU'RE LOOKING RIGHT INTO THE SUN.

  • THE SUN IS BLINDING-- YOU'RE SQUINTING--RIGHT.

  • AND NOW POUT YOUR LITTLE LIPS.

  • POOF YOUR LIPS OUT LIKE THAT.

  • YOUR LIPS--LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO GET A STRAW

  • AND SOMEONE'S MOVING IT AWAY FROM YOU.

  • SQUINT! SQUINT WHILE DOING IT.

  • SQUINT LOOKING INTO THE SUN, BRIGHT SUN.

  • SQUINT! TRY TO GET THE STRAW.

  • GET THE STRAW.

  • AND SQUINT! GOOD.

  • ALL RIGHT, AND COVERGIRLS NEVER WALK.

  • THEY DON'T WALK THEY TROT.

  • THEY TROT LIKE HORSES TRYING TO AVOID PUDDLES.

  • SO SQUINT AND TRY TO GET THE STRAW.

  • SQUINT AND TRY TO GET--

  • DON'T GET IN THE PUDDLE.

  • TROT! TROT BUT NOT IN THE PUDDLES.

  • AND YOU'RE ANGRY. YOU'RE ANGRY.

  • YOU'RE SO ANGRY THAT YOU'RE PRETTY.

  • YOU'RE PRETTY, AND YOU'RE ANGRY ABOUT IT.

  • SQUINT! LOOK IN THE SKY.

  • TROT. GET OUT OF THE PUDDLE.

  • YOU'RE IN A PUDDLE.

  • LOOK STRAIGHT AHEAD AND SQUINT AND--

  • GOOD. ISN'T SHE AMAZING?

  • [cheers and applause]

  • YEAH.

  • [cheers and applause]

  • IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT BEING EASY.

  • IT'S ALSO ABOUT BEING BREEZY, SO PUT THE FAN ON.

  • COME ON, YOU'RE EASY AND YOU'RE BREEZY.

  • - IT'S NOT ABOUT BEING EASY.

  • [laughter] OKAY.

  • - GO! - WHAT?

  • BREEZY. EASY.

  • EASY AND BREEZY! - OKAY.

  • - BEAUTIFUL. COVERGIRL.

  • - WITH THE TROT?

  • - THE TROT, SQUINT!

  • TRY TO GET THE STRAW!

  • TRY TO GET THE STRAW.

  • YOU'RE IN A PUDDLE.

  • GET OUT OF IT. TROT OUT OF THE PUDDLE.

  • GOOD.

  • RIGHT.

  • THE STRAW IS GETTING AWAY FROM YOU.

  • BEAUTIFUL!

  • OH, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL!

  • [cheers and applause]

  • OH, I REALLY DO LOVE BEING A COVERGIRL,

  • AND Y'ALL CAN BE COVERGIRLS TOO.

  • JUST TRY THEIR NATURELUXE FOUNDATION

  • WITH YOUR $100 CVS PHARMACY GIFT CARD.

  • [cheers and applause]

- IT'S ALMOST THE END OF THE SCHOOL YEAR.

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