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  • - MINNIE DRIVER'S DREAM IS TO BE ON "DOWNTON ABBEY,"

  • AND I THOUGHT I WOULD HELP HER AUDITION.

  • AND, LIKE I SAID, I WROTE A SCENE.

  • THE ONLY PROBLEM IS, YOU HAVE NOT SEEN IT OR READ IT YET.

  • - RIGHT. - SO YOU'LL JUST--YOU'LL JUST--

  • YOU'LL SEE. IT'S VERY EASY.

  • SO YOU JUST HAVE TO READ THE TELEPROMPTER

  • AND ACT ACCORDINGLY, AND... - OKAY.

  • - THIS IS YOUR AUDITION TAPE, SO, UH, READY?

  • - READY, YES. - ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.

  • [theme music]

  • [cheers and applause]

  • - EXCUSE ME, LADY GWENDERMERE OF WEST BEDFORD APPLEBEE'S.

  • - YES, COUNTESS PENELOPE

  • OF I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTERSWORTH.

  • [laughter]

  • - YOU LOOK SURPRISED TO SEE ME.

  • - NO, NO. THAT'S BECAUSE MY HAIR MAID TIED MY CORSET TOO TIGHT.

  • PRAY TELL ME, WHAT BRINGS YOU TO DOWNTON?

  • - I NEED YOUR HELP FORSOOTH.

  • - FOR WHAT? - FORSOOTH.

  • - BLESS YOU.

  • [laughter]

  • - MIGHT I TROUBLE YOU FOR A MOMENT OF YOUR TIME?

  • - OF COURSE, PLEASE SIT.

  • [laughter]

  • I MUST--I MUST SAY, I DIDN'T EXPECT TO SEE YOU

  • SO SOON AFTER YOUR ACCIDENT.

  • - MY ACCIDENT?

  • - YES, THE TERRIBLE FALL.

  • THE ONE THAT CAUSED YOU

  • TO START CHANGING YOUR ACCENT UNCONTROLLABLY.

  • - [Australian accent] OH, YES, OF COURSE.

  • THAT ACCIDENT. HOW COULD I FORGET?

  • [laughter]

  • [Southern accent] I RECKON IT'S BEEN--

  • I RECKON IT'S BEEN GETTIN' A BIT BETTER.

  • - OH, AND I IMAGINE IT'S BEEN VERY, VERY DIFFICULT

  • ON YOUR WHOLE FAMILY AS WELL.

  • - [Russian accent] YA, IT'S BEEN REAL FUDDY-DUDDY,

  • ALL OF US, YA.

  • - YES.

  • EVEN BEFORE THE ACCIDENT, YOU HAD SO MUCH TROUBLE

  • CONTROLLING THE MOVEMENT OF YOUR ARMS.

  • THEY WOULD FLY UP AT ANY TIME WITHOUT WARNING.

  • - I WISH I COULD SAY IT'S ALL BEHIND ME,

  • BUT IT IS MUCH BETTER NOW THAN IT WAS.

  • STILL, I AM NOT ALLOWED TO BE AROUND THE GOOD CHINA.

  • - OH, AND DO YOU STILL BARK LIKE A DOG WHENEVER A BELL RINGS?

  • - SADLY, YES.

  • - MM, TERRIBLE. JUST TERRIBLE.

  • I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHY YOU CAME TO SEE ME,

  • BUT FIRST LET'S HAVE SOME TEA.

  • I'LL CALL FOR THE BUTLER.

  • [bell rings]

  • - [barking]

  • - HE'LL BE HERE SHORTLY.

  • PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOUR TROUBLE IS, MY CHILD.

  • [bell rings]

  • - [barking]

  • WELL, IT STARTED TWO WEEKS AGO WHEN...

  • [barking]

  • MY MOTHER--

  • [laughter]

  • MY BROTHER BRADLEY WAS BATTLED AND BONKED THE BUTLER.

  • NOW HIS WIFE IS CHUFFED THAT HE'S CHEATING.

  • SHE'S TAKEN A--

  • SHE'S TAKEN TO TALKING A LOAD OF CODSWALLOP

  • THAT'S MAKING THE VIC A DICKEY.

  • [laughter]

  • - YOU DON'T SAY?

  • [bell rings]

  • - [Boston accent] EVEN TALKIN' ABOUT IT IS WICKED HARD.

  • [laughter]

  • [barking]

  • - AND, SCENE.

  • [cheers and applause]

  • LOOK FOR MINNIE DRIVER ON THE NEXT SEASON OF "DOWNTON ABBEY."

  • AND "ABOUT A BOY" PREMIERS

  • AFTER THE OLYMPICS THIS SUNDAY NIGHT.

  • WE'LL BE BACK.

- MINNIE DRIVER'S DREAM IS TO BE ON "DOWNTON ABBEY,"

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