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My wife is having a baby this summer
we don't know if..we are having a boy or a g..but we assume the one or the other.
but you never know
I have two older kids. My kids are in their forties now. One of them is older than I am.
So it's been a long time since I took care of baby. Forget almost everything.
or at least I forgot almost everything.
so to brush up and to get some advice on how to raise a child
I went right to the source.
I asked a child to help me figure some things out.
a six-year-old girl named Aila and
well, we had a very enlightening conversation.
Aila, how old are you?
Six
So you've been a kid for a while now.
How long?
I have no idea.
But you were a baby once?
yeah everyone is a baby once.
that's true
What am I hoping for is that you can give me some information and teach me how to be a good dad.
My wife is having a baby. Ok?
okay..
And I just wondering what you think like what to you is a good dad.
What does a good dad do.
Well, I suggest you start changing the diaper
Myself?
yeah!
yuck... I don't want to do that.
Well, you are not gonna really like eat the poop.
Yeah I am.
No you're not! Yes I am. No you're not.
Well,what am I supposed to do with it? Throw it against the wall?
You are supposed to wipe the butt!
Ewwww.
I'm not gonna do that. Who's butt?
The baby's butt. With the wipe.
Oh no..no way the baby doesn't want that.
The baby should learn to wipe its own butt.
But they don't know how because
they don't have a smart brain. They don't?
Does baby comes with brain? or do you have to have that put in.
They do come with brains. It's just like they don't know better and they're just like squirming around like
Are they dumb?
heheh no! They are not dumb!
Well they can't even wipe themselves. That's doesn't sound very smart to me.
So you're gonna have to do it yourself
That's what grown ups do.
Oh no. I don't want to do that.
So first you have to open the diaper. Ahh.
and then you're gonna get a wipe then wipe the butt. Hold on.
Will you show me how to do that with the baby doll. Will you show me how to do it?
Ok but just where's the baby doll.
Here's the baby doll. Now is this the right way to hold a baby?
Nope.
Well how should I do it
So you should do it like that. Okay.
If they are like one-year-old you can do it like this. Hold it by the butt and like that.
That's..ok..so here we go.
No! Not like...What I'm holding by the butt.
No. no no no no no..
Flip it over and hold it like that.
Ohhh the other way. Ok ok
Now this butt I'm holding by, this is where the poops come out so this I don't want to touch.
You're not gonna touch the butt. You're just gonna touch it with wipe.
So like your hands are gonna be clean but you are gonna have to wash them
Okay. So here we put the baby right here.
Yeah and then some..good just diaper on. (Jimmy: the baby has the diaper on)
So like you're gonna pull the side then open it up
right..eww there's poop.
What? It's chocolate!
It is?!
Yep we just pretend...well but I don't know if it is chocolate
You're eating the poop
I'm still not sure if it's chocolate or not.
Ok just...you're eating the poop.
So I should not do that to the real baby.
No! Because it's real poop.
You don't want to eat poop and get all sick.
Right. You are right. Okay
Now, now what do I do?
So you're gonna get a wipe and then wipe it like that
and then you're gonna lift the baby up. Ok, then you gonna wipe this part. With your hand?
No! With the wipe
Well why don't you using a wipe. I saw you using your hand.
Well there's no wipes here.
Oh so what do I do if there's..oh look it out wipes just came in
Thanks dad!
Yeah thanks dad.
So you wipe the butt. Oh! I have a good idea. what if there's extra poop
You should put it in the baby's hat right?
No no no! What?
You should put it...it's...so..(Jimmy:sorry..here you go.)
Put it in here. Okay.
And then we're gonna roll it up and throw it in the trash but where are the trash.
Oh here I'll take it.
Umm let's see. Oh! I know we will throw it at the wall.
No! The trash! The trash. Remember I told you earlier? The trash!
But then the trash guy gotta come pick it up and then he doesn't want this.
No!
It's such a hard thing to figure out.
Ma ma mia...
Here's this how it gotta go
I'm gonna tell my wife Aila taught me how to change the baby when it has a poopy diaper
and what you do is you take a diaper off the baby, you get some wipes, you eat the poop
then wipe the baby's butt
and then you throw it at the garbage man as he drives you by
Yes?
Yes.
I think that's what we do.
N O. No!
I'm gonna be a very bad parent.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
So were you. hehehe.
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Jimmy Gets Parenting Advice From Kids

23896 Folder Collection
Angie Hsu published on August 1, 2015    Angie Hsu translated    葉子維 reviewed
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