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  • - So, is every sexual experience an orgy?

  • (laughing)

  • Yes, I'm so exhausted.

  • - No, do you know how hard it is to plan an orgy?

  • - And orgies are not that common.

  • I've been to one, and most of the time I spent there

  • was in the corner eating Oreos.

  • Why isn't one person enough?

  • By that logic, you should only have to have one friend.

  • - I have friends who I'm just Facebook friends with,

  • and friends who I would pick up from jail.

  • It's not that one person isn't enough,

  • it's that lots of people fascinate me.

  • - What's the difference between poly and cheating?

  • - The difference between poly and cheating is that

  • cheating is a violation of the relationship.

  • - Polyamory is all about consensual

  • discussion, being on the same page.

  • - You make out with somebody else, that's part of the deal.

  • - It's not about betrayal. It couldn't be any different.

  • - Is it due to your religion?

  • You're thinking of polygamy.

  • - Does it bother you that some people don't know

  • the difference between polyamory and polygamy?

  • Most definitely that bothers me.

  • Polygamy for the most part, one, is more of a legal term,

  • two, is more linked to religion.

  • It's more about the man and some subservient women.

  • Polyamory is egalitarian, everyone has a voice.

  • - What's the biggest tool to help polyamory work?

  • - Communication. - Being honest.

  • You have to talk about what you think, how you feel.

  • - Love and compassion comes first.

  • Is non-monogamy normal?

  • I think maybe the question really is, is monogamy normal?

  • We can choose to be monogamous,

  • just like we can choose to be vegetarian,

  • but as Dr. Ryan says, that doesn't mean

  • the bacon won't still smell good.

  • It's okay to be non-monogamous as you long as you

  • do it in an ethical way that doesn't betray anyone.

  • Oh, how do you deal with jealousy?

  • - In seriousness, jealousy is something we all deal with.

  • We're jealous of people in our industries,

  • sometimes we're jealous of people in our family,

  • but for some reason we consider sexual jealousy

  • to be this insurmountable problem, and it's not.

  • - Another thing that can help with jealousy is

  • meeting any of your partner's potential partners.

  • We blow up in our mind what they're like.

  • We think that they're a supermodel,

  • or they're somebody that's out to get us.

  • - I want great experiences for my partner,

  • and if that includes a different lover,

  • then I'm okay with that.

  • - Does it bother you that people just don't understand?

  • I am a bisexual, plus-sized, nightclub entertainer

  • who grew up with two moms in Texas.

  • I find it's best not to worry what other people think.

  • - Do you have any advice for young polyamorous people?

  • My advice is to be honest, no matter what.

  • Don't pretend to be chill with things you're not chill with

  • just because you want to be "cool" poly.

  • - Reach out to different resources

  • and just educate yourself.

  • Take your instincts past just what you think is right,

  • and really listen to people who have

  • done this for a long time.

  • - Figure out who you are, and stay true to it.

  • Don't try to change, and don't try to change other people.

- So, is every sexual experience an orgy?

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