Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles Chronologically, you're 16 today. Physically, You're still 15. [ sighs ] Hopeless. Nope. I look exactly the same as I have since summer. Utterly forgettable. No, I didn't expect to wake up transformed. I just thought that turning 16 would be so major... That I'd wake up with an improved mental state that would show on my face. All it shows is that I don't have any sort of a tan left. [ sighs ] I better get downstairs. My family's probably pissed off I haven't let them wish me happy birthday yet. All right. I'll see you at school. You need four inches of bod and a great birthday. Where's my briefcase ? [ mike ] where'd you leave it ? Don't be a smart-ass. Okay, I'll be a dumb-ass. [ sara ] you already are. Okay, where's sam ? Where's my briefcase ? Sam ? Allow me, brenda. Hey, birth defect ! [ brenda ] you missed breakfast again. [ dad ] it wasn't my idea to give her her own phone line. [ sara, mike arguing ] [ brenda ] grab a doughnut. It's small. It's brown. It's made of leather. It has my initials on it. And I believe... That's it. [ car horn honking ] don't forget the grandparents are coming this afternoon. Are we still having dinner with the rice chex ? Rizczechs. 8:00 at the club. You'd better learn their names. As of tomorrow, they're family. That's a lovely thought. Hmm. When it comes your turn to get married, do me a favor. Elope. Who'd marry her ? Mr. T. I'm sorry, you'll have to buy lunch today. I didn't have time to fix your carrots. She's only eating carrots to increase the size of her breasts. Mister, you had better shape up, or you will miss your sister's wedding. Promise ? Now, don't give me that pouty look of yours. You can eat your carrots when you get home. That's it ? You don't have anything else to say to me today ? What would you like me to say, sam ? Come on now, honey. You're gonna miss the bus. Have a good day. I can't believe this. They fucking forgot my birthday.