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  • You know, everybody wants to be happy, so why isn't everybody happy? The obvious answer is, it's not easy.

  • And one of the single biggest obstacles to being happy is that people naturally compare themselves to other people and assume nearly all of them are happier than they are.

  • This is a big problem. So, how would like an equation to determine the exact amount of unhappiness in your life?

  • Well, I am here to tell you that I have developed an equation. It is U=I-R. U is unhappiness, I is image and R is reality.

  • The difference between the images you have had for your life and the reality of your life is the amount of unhappiness in your life,

  • which gives you an idea of how powerful images are in hurting us.

  • It's inevitable, everybody has an image. As you grow up, you imagine what life will be when you get older.

  • I had very, very powerful images -- if I may be personal, and it'll help here to be personal,

  • because I have gone through this. I imagined that I would be happily married, never divorced,

  • have four perfect children sitting around the table, discussing politics and theology every meal

  • Well, it didn't quite turn out that way. I was divorced. I was divorced with a child, and my kids didn't always want to talk about theology and politics.

  • Sometimes they didn't want to talk at all. Sometimes they wanted to talk about sports, or about music that I couldn't stand.

  • Now, I had to realize very early in my life that I would either have to abandon my image

  • or I would be miserable the rest of my life. And this is true for just about everybody,

  • That's what the mid-life crisis in so many people is about -- whether it is male or female

  • -- especially for men. They reach 35, 45, 55 and then they think, "wait a minute,

  • I thought I would be the CEO; I thought I would be a president; I thought I'd be the president

  • of the United States; I thought I would be earning this amount of money; I thought I would be one of the most respective members of my community."

  • And then I would say every man ultimately fails the image that he has had for himself.

  • That's the biggest part of what mid-life crisis is about. Images kill people. Think of anorexia.

  • Some teenage girls and young women have an image of how they want to look, and in some

  • cases they will starve themselves to meet that image. This is true for whatever images

  • we have in our life. People imagine family life a certain way, they imagine a spouse

  • a certain way, they imagine their children a certain way, they imagine their job a certain way,

  • So, what do you do about it? Well, there are two things. One, either develop a new image

  • and enjoy that, or just celebrate the reality that you now have. Maybe the reality you now

  • have is pretty darn good. You don't need an image to ruin it, because I promise you,

  • that that's exactly what the image will do. And that is why U=I-R. Unhappiness = Image - Reality.

You know, everybody wants to be happy, so why isn't everybody happy? The obvious answer is, it's not easy.

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A2 US image unhappiness life reality divorced equation

Happiness Equation: U = I - R

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    Ray Du posted on 2015/06/26
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