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  • Alright soldiers, listen up.

  • We've got a dirty bomb. And the bastard is planning to use it.

  • Our job is to get down there and make sure never get the chance.

  • We can't run the risk of spooking them.

  • So, we go in hard, fast and quietly.

  • There is no room for mistakes.

  • But if something goes wrong,

  • we've got Sergeant Pugsley.

  • Now I know what you're thinking.

  • He's a maverick, maybe even a little old.

  • But he's the best damn sniper there is.

  • Any questions?

  • Errr, yeah...

  • That's a dog.

  • That's not a question private.

  • That's a dog?

  • Much better.

  • Let's move out!

  • NO!

  • GUYS!

  • Hmm, four letters. Sommet you say to express pain.

  • Warh!

  • Nah, it starts with an A.

  • Argh!

  • *Shooty shooty silenced bang bangs*

  • Er, Sir! Can we talk about Sergeant Pugsley for a minute please.

  • That damn maverick.

  • Yeah, sure. I'm not really comfortable with him being apart of the team.

  • What?

  • Y'know on account of the fact that he is a d-Aaa!

  • Quiet! How did you find out?

  • It's kind of obvious...

  • Damn it! Look the others don't need to know...

  • About his drinking problem.

  • What?

  • I don't care if he's a drinker.

  • The question is how did he get in the army in the first place?!

  • Oh! You want to bring back Don't Ask Don't Tell?!

  • If the question is "Are you a dog?" then YES!

  • You won't be so quick to judge when Sergeant Pugsley is saving you from an

  • AMBUSH!

  • *Fighty fighty punch shoot*

  • He doesn't even have thumbs!

  • LEAVE YOUR PREJUDICES AT HOME SOLDIER!!

  • (In a high pitched voice) IT'S AN AMBUSH!!

  • *More shooty bang bang*

  • *Pug*

  • *Mass amounts of the shooty bang*

  • Dammit Pugsley!

  • Why didn't you warn us?!

  • BECAUSE HE CAN'T TALK!

  • *Shooty deathy bang bang*

  • OF COURSE! That damn maverick has a plan!

  • That son of a bitch has balls!

  • No he doesn't! HE DOESN'T HAVE BALLS!

  • Ooooh! Is that a problem?!

  • I mean, they were cut off!!

  • (In a high pitched voice) Oooh! Is that a problem?!

  • NOT NOW PRIVATE NO PRIVATES!!

  • Dammit Pugsley where is our cover fire!

  • SIR, THERE IS NO COVER FIRE BECAUSE DOGS CAN'T FIRE GUNS!

  • I MEAN WHAT'S NEXT A HAMSTER IN A PLANE?!

  • Don't be ridiculous!

  • (In mourning) Captain Squeakers.

  • *Guns clock*

  • Alright, I admit it...

  • Sergeant Pugsley...

  • Is a dog.

  • Yeah.

  • (In a high pitched voice) WHAT?!

  • He may well be a dog...

  • And an alcoholic.

  • He also poops outdoors, but by God!

  • He's the best damn soldier i've ever had the privilege of w-

  • You just couldn't afford a dog sitter, could you?

  • They're really expensive...

  • *Shooty bang! Shooty bang!*

  • He is a maverick!

  • Who's a good boy?!

  • It's you!

  • Meow.

  • You couldn't save us all Pugsley.

Alright soldiers, listen up.

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