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  • [whining]

  • [squeaking]

  • [game playing on tv]

  • That's a honey of a tree, clark.

  • Is it real?

  • Yeah. Dug it out of the ground myself.

  • Is that a fact?

  • Hey, get out of there! Stop it! No!

  • Don't worry.

  • A little tree water ain't going to hurt him.

  • Before we left,

  • He drank a half a quart of pennzoil.

  • Boy, when he lifted his leg the next morning--whoa!

  • Eddie, if he drinks the water out of there,

  • The tree's gonna dry up. Come on, out of there.

  • Snot. Out. Out.

  • You get out of there. Get in the kitchen now.

  • Get in the kitchen and get something to eat.

  • Go on. He's cute, ain't he?

  • Only problem is, he's got a little bit

  • Of mississippi leg hound in him.

  • If the mood catches him right,

  • He'll grab your leg and just go to town.

  • You don't want him around if you're wearing short pants,

  • If you know what I mean.

  • A word of warning, though,

  • If he does lay into you,

  • It's best to just let him finish. Tsk.

  • I just can't believe

  • You're actually standing here in my living room, eddie.

  • Never thought the day would come.

  • Yeah, I'm excited about it, too.

  • It's a crying shame

  • The older kids couldn't make it.

  • I'll get that. Don't worry about it.

  • Let me do it.

  • Yeah. I got the daughter in the clinic,

  • Getting cured off the wild turkey.

  • And the older boy, bless his soul,

  • Is preparing for his career.

  • College? Carnival.

  • You got to be proud.

  • Oh, yeah. Yeah, last season,

  • He was a pixie dust spreader on the tilt-a-whirl.

  • He thinks that maybe next year,

  • He'll be guessing people's weight

  • Or barking for the yak woman.

  • No. You ever see her?

  • She's got these big horns

  • Growing right out above her ears,

  • And she's ugly as sin.

[whining]

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